Tuesday, December 18, 2012
A Goodbye To Morgan the Elf
I haven't been a blogger this year, but it's been nagging at me lately to get back to it. Then, tonight, we had some events take place that I really wished I could blog about, because I love when people are transparent and honest, and share their learning experiences with others. No one's perfect; why pretend to be? So I guess I'll just jump in and be the first to be transparent, and also get back to blogging! ;)
A couple of weeks ago, we started the tradition of the Elf on the Shelf. It seemed innocent and fun, and in some ways it was. Except that in years past, we have never done Santa. We've kept Christmas focused on Christ's birth, without distraction, and my kids were taught that Santa is a "fun thing people pretend at Christmas."
For some reason this year, as the Christmas season approached, my kids insisted Santa was real. And seeing all of the fun Elf on the Shelf ideas on Pinterest, I caved on my convictions and went with it. I didn't discourage Santa, and an elf arrived, courtesy of a friend.
Well, my prayer is and always will be that the Lord will nudge me if I'm stepping out of line, and a conviction is a conviction, even if you try to reason your way out of it. The elf and Santa can be harmless, but for me, they felt wrong.
He nudged me. Actually, He practically tore my heart in two with a simple confession from a 5 year old. One morning, after waking to look for the elf, she said, "Mom...I really love the elf. I love her more than God. I used to wake up and think about God and how much I love Him, but now I think about the elf!"
*sigh*
Convictions are convictions, even if the matter seems harmless and innocent, and "everyone else is doing it."
So tonight I sat my kids down and told them that the elf is pretend, along with Santa. God is real. Jesus is real. The Holy Spirit is real. And I don't ever want my kids to question those truths or feel if lied about Santa, maybe I'm lying about God. There were tears, both theirs and mine. And Aimee is mad, because she enjoyed being in on a secret. But they've shed their tears, Amerie has asked tons of questions, and we're moving on. We're moving on with our eyes focused on Christ this season, not on compromised convictions, and talking about His birth, and the reason He came as a baby so long ago - to save us from our sins.
And one more thing, that I just realized as I was writing. :) Since the presents under our tree won't be *from Santa,* I can openly give credit where it's due and use it as one more way to praise God and teach my kids about His blessings. Santa didn't provide those gifts, and for the most part, neither did I. I had less than $100 to spend on my 4 kids, the two sweet babies I baby-sit, and wrapping paper and tape. And that's after conserving gas and waiting to buy shampoo. :) But there will be many gifts under our tree this year, and they came through the generosity of others, who were used by the Lord to bless us. I am so very grateful, and humbled. I have to admit, too, that watching God provide in special, surprising ways is so much better than if my finances always allowed me to buy whatever I wanted!
To those who provided, thank you!! So much. And to those who enjoyed my album of Elf on the Shelf pics on Facebook, my apologies. Our elf is retiring. I guess you'll have to be satisfied with mobile uploads of my cute kids. ;)
Merry Christmas!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Some natural moisturizers, and an attempt to find my natural hair color...
I have a little confession to make, although some of you already know this about me...
I like to dye my hair. : ) It's fun, it can be cheap, and I've been doing it on and off for the past 10 or so years.
But in an effort to switch to natural alternatives this year, I need to stop this little hobby of mine. The only problem I have is that I don't really know what my natural color is anymore. Is it light brown? With a little red? No red? I've been adding red to it for a little while, but I think it's actually a light brown, now that I've had four children. So...this weekend I dyed it light brown. And I really like it. It's not much different than what I had, but I've always leaned towards reds and blondes, so this is kind of fun. I'm sure it will lighten up as I wash it, and my Burt's Bee's shampoo I bought will have to wait for a little while before I'm comfortable using it again. I'm afraid it would leave my hair a funky color for some reason...
On a side note, I asked my girls if they noticed a difference in my hair color when they were getting ready for bed last night. The younger two said it looked the same, but Aimee said she noticed a slight difference. When Amerie heard this, she said, "Come here. Let me smell it."
sniff sniff
"Yep," she said. "It's smells darker to me!"
My kids are weirdos. : )
This weekend I also filled a jar with coconut oil to try as a moisturizer. The kids and I used it before and i liked it, but Michigan winters are hard on skin, and ours tends to be dry already. I have a slight memory of it not being enough. We'll see. I used it last night as a face moisturizer. It's not greasy, and we buy virgin coconut oil, so it smells just like coconuts. : ) My only problem is that I've been addicted to the Mary Kay Timewise collection since they debuted it almost 10 years ago. It's going to be really, really hard for me to find a replacement. : ( Plus, I have finicky skin that's dry and breaks out easily. So switching skincare is frustrating and scary. Here's what I've tried so far, and my opinions...
Unprocessed (extra virgin) coconut oil - Makes a good moisturizer, and doesn't upset my skin. Might not be moisturizing enough for winter, but it would definitely be perfect for summer. I've been using it as is, but this week I'll be adding beeswax and making it into an actual lotion. It might be more moisturizing with the beeswax.
Grapeseed oil - I believe what I have is processed, because it doesn't say other wise. I used this on myself and the kids and it was perfect for the younger two, who don't suffer from eczema. Aimee refuses to use anything until she has a rash from her dry skin (will she ever learn??), so she won't agree to be a guinea pig. Andrew didn't mind it, but still had itchy skin. Me too, and it wasn't enough to keep my face from drying out. Would be good for the summer, though. Or for normal skin. And it's an oil, so give it time to absorb. : )
Raw shea butter - I LOVED this, because it is so moisturizing. It goes on thick, and you have to melt it in your hand before applying. But it's amazing. I had two problems with it, though. One, my face broke out BAD. So it's a no-go for that. And two, it has an interesting smell, since it's completely unprocessed. I didn't mind it, but my girls hated it. They don't even like it on my hands. So I'm at a loss with what to do with my giant tub of it. I might try using it on my hands during the day, and see if the smell dissipates, because this is some serious moisturizing and I really don't want to give it up. I've come to accept that winter means my hands are cracked and in pain, but I would be a very happy girl if that could change. More on this later. : )
I also purchased Burt's Bee's shampoo and conditioner a few weeks ago. Like I said before, I won't be using it on my hair just yet. I'll be finishing up my Tresseme. But my opinion of their Super Shiny Shampoo and conditioner...I liked it. Once I got passed the fact that it's the stuff that's bad for you that makes shampoo so wonderful. It's hard to lather at first, since it doesn't contain sodium lauryl sulfate. At first, I just used more. But then I realized you just have to give it more effort to suds, and then it works just fine. I'm not crazy about the smell as it lathers, but once my hair is drying, it has a nice citrus-y smell that I liked.
(Sidenote - About sodium lauryl sulfate. It's one item I'm doing my best to eliminate from our lives. Looking into the claims about it's safety, there are just as many saying it's okay, as there are that it's unsafe. But here's my opinion on the subject, and this goes with all of the chemicals and compounds I'm eliminating this year...if there is a reasonable alternative to a product that may or may not be unsafe, why not choose the alternative? Maybe my shampoo won't suds as nicely or my clothes won't be quite as fluffy and soft as Downy gets them. But if I can prevent even one cancer diagnosis in my family someday down the road, these little changes I'm making right now are 100 % worth it. And that is my motivation.)
I also made some homemade deodorant yesterday, using this recipe. I'm using it at home, around the house, until I know how well it works. : ) But from what I read, if your body and your gut are healthy, you shouldn't need strong deodorants because it's the toxins in your body that cause you stink to begin with. Interesting theory, that makes sense to me. We'll see how it goes. It was easy to make, with one part arrowroot powder (you can also use cornstarch, but I had arrowroot in the fridge) and one part baking soda. After you combine the two, add enough coconut oil to make it the consistency of conventional deodorant. You can store in an old deodorant container, but I put mine in a jelly jar for now. I've used this formula before and it worked fine, but I was eating a lot of junk foods at the time. It might work better this time around.
That's all the changes I've made so far. I'm still trying them out and seeing how they work long term, and how well my kids like them. In the end, I won't make a change my kids will hate unless I feel it's completely necessary. My long-term hope is that they will make these same decisions when they are adults, and if they grow up hating the products I made them use, they will be completely turned off to the idea of using natural alternatives themselves. So I'm prepared for much trial and error!
That's all I've got for now. : ) Have a super Monday!
I like to dye my hair. : ) It's fun, it can be cheap, and I've been doing it on and off for the past 10 or so years.
But in an effort to switch to natural alternatives this year, I need to stop this little hobby of mine. The only problem I have is that I don't really know what my natural color is anymore. Is it light brown? With a little red? No red? I've been adding red to it for a little while, but I think it's actually a light brown, now that I've had four children. So...this weekend I dyed it light brown. And I really like it. It's not much different than what I had, but I've always leaned towards reds and blondes, so this is kind of fun. I'm sure it will lighten up as I wash it, and my Burt's Bee's shampoo I bought will have to wait for a little while before I'm comfortable using it again. I'm afraid it would leave my hair a funky color for some reason...
On a side note, I asked my girls if they noticed a difference in my hair color when they were getting ready for bed last night. The younger two said it looked the same, but Aimee said she noticed a slight difference. When Amerie heard this, she said, "Come here. Let me smell it."
sniff sniff
"Yep," she said. "It's smells darker to me!"
My kids are weirdos. : )
This weekend I also filled a jar with coconut oil to try as a moisturizer. The kids and I used it before and i liked it, but Michigan winters are hard on skin, and ours tends to be dry already. I have a slight memory of it not being enough. We'll see. I used it last night as a face moisturizer. It's not greasy, and we buy virgin coconut oil, so it smells just like coconuts. : ) My only problem is that I've been addicted to the Mary Kay Timewise collection since they debuted it almost 10 years ago. It's going to be really, really hard for me to find a replacement. : ( Plus, I have finicky skin that's dry and breaks out easily. So switching skincare is frustrating and scary. Here's what I've tried so far, and my opinions...
Unprocessed (extra virgin) coconut oil - Makes a good moisturizer, and doesn't upset my skin. Might not be moisturizing enough for winter, but it would definitely be perfect for summer. I've been using it as is, but this week I'll be adding beeswax and making it into an actual lotion. It might be more moisturizing with the beeswax.
Grapeseed oil - I believe what I have is processed, because it doesn't say other wise. I used this on myself and the kids and it was perfect for the younger two, who don't suffer from eczema. Aimee refuses to use anything until she has a rash from her dry skin (will she ever learn??), so she won't agree to be a guinea pig. Andrew didn't mind it, but still had itchy skin. Me too, and it wasn't enough to keep my face from drying out. Would be good for the summer, though. Or for normal skin. And it's an oil, so give it time to absorb. : )
Raw shea butter - I LOVED this, because it is so moisturizing. It goes on thick, and you have to melt it in your hand before applying. But it's amazing. I had two problems with it, though. One, my face broke out BAD. So it's a no-go for that. And two, it has an interesting smell, since it's completely unprocessed. I didn't mind it, but my girls hated it. They don't even like it on my hands. So I'm at a loss with what to do with my giant tub of it. I might try using it on my hands during the day, and see if the smell dissipates, because this is some serious moisturizing and I really don't want to give it up. I've come to accept that winter means my hands are cracked and in pain, but I would be a very happy girl if that could change. More on this later. : )
I also purchased Burt's Bee's shampoo and conditioner a few weeks ago. Like I said before, I won't be using it on my hair just yet. I'll be finishing up my Tresseme. But my opinion of their Super Shiny Shampoo and conditioner...I liked it. Once I got passed the fact that it's the stuff that's bad for you that makes shampoo so wonderful. It's hard to lather at first, since it doesn't contain sodium lauryl sulfate. At first, I just used more. But then I realized you just have to give it more effort to suds, and then it works just fine. I'm not crazy about the smell as it lathers, but once my hair is drying, it has a nice citrus-y smell that I liked.
(Sidenote - About sodium lauryl sulfate. It's one item I'm doing my best to eliminate from our lives. Looking into the claims about it's safety, there are just as many saying it's okay, as there are that it's unsafe. But here's my opinion on the subject, and this goes with all of the chemicals and compounds I'm eliminating this year...if there is a reasonable alternative to a product that may or may not be unsafe, why not choose the alternative? Maybe my shampoo won't suds as nicely or my clothes won't be quite as fluffy and soft as Downy gets them. But if I can prevent even one cancer diagnosis in my family someday down the road, these little changes I'm making right now are 100 % worth it. And that is my motivation.)
I also made some homemade deodorant yesterday, using this recipe. I'm using it at home, around the house, until I know how well it works. : ) But from what I read, if your body and your gut are healthy, you shouldn't need strong deodorants because it's the toxins in your body that cause you stink to begin with. Interesting theory, that makes sense to me. We'll see how it goes. It was easy to make, with one part arrowroot powder (you can also use cornstarch, but I had arrowroot in the fridge) and one part baking soda. After you combine the two, add enough coconut oil to make it the consistency of conventional deodorant. You can store in an old deodorant container, but I put mine in a jelly jar for now. I've used this formula before and it worked fine, but I was eating a lot of junk foods at the time. It might work better this time around.
That's all the changes I've made so far. I'm still trying them out and seeing how they work long term, and how well my kids like them. In the end, I won't make a change my kids will hate unless I feel it's completely necessary. My long-term hope is that they will make these same decisions when they are adults, and if they grow up hating the products I made them use, they will be completely turned off to the idea of using natural alternatives themselves. So I'm prepared for much trial and error!
That's all I've got for now. : ) Have a super Monday!
Friday, January 27, 2012
Ball Canning Jars
We had a pretty exciting day around here!!
Okay, well...I had a pretty exciting day! The kids, to be honest, rolled their eyes at me. : )
But that's okay, because I'm still really excited!!!
I posted on Facebook that I would willingly take any canning jars that were being unused in a basement some where. I've really wanted to try some new recipes, like homemade sauerkraut, dill pickles, kefir, etc. But I don't have any jars leftover when I finish up a batch of chicken stock. And at this moment in time, I can't get myself to justify a purchase of a couple dozen Ball jars. So I thought about my former mother-in-law, who used to store up jars and jars of applesauce every year (after picking them from the tree themselves, of course!) : ) Aimee has told me that she doesn't make as much applesauce now, as she did when her kids were younger. It made me wonder how many others have jars sitting around that at one time were in frequent use, but in the past few years have sat empty. So I thought, "Hmmm...it can't hurt to ask!"
I'm so glad I did!! A friend of a friend sent me a private message and told me she had over 4 dozen jars of various sizes, if I wanted to come get them. : ) OF COURSE!!! The kids were super excited about a car ride in the middle of the day, and I was envisioning all of things I would use them for. : D
I came right home and ran them all through the dishwasher, so I could store them clean and ready to use. Here's Lexi with them on the table, so they can dry thoroughly before I put the lids back on.
Of course, setting a 3 year old in front of a bunch of clean empty jars is not the best idea. I heard several times, "I touched that one, Mommy. Oops...I touched that one, too." Silly girl.
I was really glad that the jars were different sizes, too. The quart sizes are perfect for chicken stock, kefir, fermented veges (i.e. sauerkraut), etc. And the pint and jelly jars will not only be used for the homemade toiletries I'm making to replace our commercial ones (I will be posting recipes later, as I make and try different recipes). But...
We use them as drinking glasses!! The little jelly jars are great for the younger kids, and the pints are perfect for the older kids and adults. Plus, they're not only a great alternative to plastic, but they don't shatter when they're accidentally dropped on the floor. Perfect!!
So a big thanks goes out to Lisa L. for the jars!!! I'll be posting in the next week or so about some diet changes the kids (but mostly I) will be making, along with what's going in the jars. : ) I'm so giddy about it all!!
I should add, too, that the first thing each of my parents said when they saw the jars was, "What are you going to use all those for??" And second, "Where ya gonna store 'em?" Hahaha. I'm still working the details of that last one out... : )
Have a good weekend!!
Okay, well...I had a pretty exciting day! The kids, to be honest, rolled their eyes at me. : )
But that's okay, because I'm still really excited!!!
I posted on Facebook that I would willingly take any canning jars that were being unused in a basement some where. I've really wanted to try some new recipes, like homemade sauerkraut, dill pickles, kefir, etc. But I don't have any jars leftover when I finish up a batch of chicken stock. And at this moment in time, I can't get myself to justify a purchase of a couple dozen Ball jars. So I thought about my former mother-in-law, who used to store up jars and jars of applesauce every year (after picking them from the tree themselves, of course!) : ) Aimee has told me that she doesn't make as much applesauce now, as she did when her kids were younger. It made me wonder how many others have jars sitting around that at one time were in frequent use, but in the past few years have sat empty. So I thought, "Hmmm...it can't hurt to ask!"
I'm so glad I did!! A friend of a friend sent me a private message and told me she had over 4 dozen jars of various sizes, if I wanted to come get them. : ) OF COURSE!!! The kids were super excited about a car ride in the middle of the day, and I was envisioning all of things I would use them for. : D
I came right home and ran them all through the dishwasher, so I could store them clean and ready to use. Here's Lexi with them on the table, so they can dry thoroughly before I put the lids back on.
Of course, setting a 3 year old in front of a bunch of clean empty jars is not the best idea. I heard several times, "I touched that one, Mommy. Oops...I touched that one, too." Silly girl.
I was really glad that the jars were different sizes, too. The quart sizes are perfect for chicken stock, kefir, fermented veges (i.e. sauerkraut), etc. And the pint and jelly jars will not only be used for the homemade toiletries I'm making to replace our commercial ones (I will be posting recipes later, as I make and try different recipes). But...
We use them as drinking glasses!! The little jelly jars are great for the younger kids, and the pints are perfect for the older kids and adults. Plus, they're not only a great alternative to plastic, but they don't shatter when they're accidentally dropped on the floor. Perfect!!
So a big thanks goes out to Lisa L. for the jars!!! I'll be posting in the next week or so about some diet changes the kids (but mostly I) will be making, along with what's going in the jars. : ) I'm so giddy about it all!!
I should add, too, that the first thing each of my parents said when they saw the jars was, "What are you going to use all those for??" And second, "Where ya gonna store 'em?" Hahaha. I'm still working the details of that last one out... : )
Have a good weekend!!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Awana and the 23rd Psalm
It's official...the kids LOVE Awana. :)
This was our second week of attending, and both Amerie and Aimee flew through their starter booklets and have earned their vests and Awana books. Aimee memorized her entire workbook in one night when they told her she could do it all at once if she wanted!! It had 7-8 "checkpoints," and she had memorized the first two checkpoint verses and questions for her second night. We thought it would take her 3-4 weeks to make it through the book, but my girlie did it all in one night. I'm so proud of her!!!!
I signed up for a Wednesday night class, too. The Wednesday night classes run in 4-week sessions, and the next one starts next week. The class is about the 23rd Psalm and "truly knowing the joy and peace of living under the care of the Good Shepherd." This is something I am coming to know, yet still struggle with every day. When I list out all of the ways the Lord has provided for the kids and I, I am amazed. And humbled. And very, very grateful. And yet I still struggle with worry over our needs. My biggest worry right now is over the coming summer, and then the purchase of whatever we may need for next school year. If this coming summer is like last summer, I will have no income from mid-June through August. And that's assuming I will be watching the same kids next year that I am now (if they're not in school...) I hope I will be, mostly because my heart loves them a lot. :) But I've learned that things change and you can't assume the future is certain.
So...that leaves me worrying, but trying to trust. And trying to save money to get us through summer, but it's really hard when you earn exactly enough for your expenses.
Ever been there?? I'm sure I'm not the only one. :)
So when I saw the class description, I thought to myself, "Wow. That's perfect for my life right now..." I need to trust Him more. He's not going to leave our needs unmet, and I know He will provide. And I need to give up that part of me that likes to plan everything out and know what the future will bring, because He's really working on that with me!!! It's not always for me to figure out. I need to be obedient and responsible, and He will provide what the kids and I need.
As for our "new church"...I'm still on the fence about where we're at. I've had an emotional week, so that could have contributed to my lack of excitement over where we're attending. I also had a brief conversation with one of those "you're not a member of our church. You're an outsider," kind of people. I know that every church has those kinds of people, and I'm certainly not going to judge the entire church by the behavior of one individual. Everyone else I have met has been incredibly kind and helpful (it's a big church, and on Wednesdays I have 5 kids to corral around a building I'm not yet familiar with. I've definitely needed help a few times!!) But I would like to go on record right now as saying that I LOVE LOVE LOVE Warren Woods. Jon Nich completely spoils us with Worship. I doubt I'll ever find a church with Worship music like he provides us with. And I look forward to hearing Pastor Tim or Pastor David preach on Sunday mornings. The sermon I heard this past Sunday was "okay." I'm sure I need to give it a few more weeks. I also miss the friendliness at the Woods. It's big enough to have lots going on, but not so big that you walk in the door and feel "lost." I'm sure part of that is because I've attended for 30 years and know a lot of faces, but I've heard many new attenders say that the "warm, welcome" feeling they got when they walked through the door is what made them stay. And it's true.
So this week...I'm loving Wednesdays for the kids. I'm sure I'll enjoy my class, too. But I'm really missing Warren Woods Sunday morning services. :(
Who knows? Maybe I was led to this new church just to satisfy my curiosity. I've never been to another church, and this one has interested me for awhile. You have to leave what you know to see what you're missing, or to learn that you weren't missing anything at all. Right? :)
It's still in prayer. We will see where the Lord directs my steps. But as far as Awana...my kids are hooked!!!
This was our second week of attending, and both Amerie and Aimee flew through their starter booklets and have earned their vests and Awana books. Aimee memorized her entire workbook in one night when they told her she could do it all at once if she wanted!! It had 7-8 "checkpoints," and she had memorized the first two checkpoint verses and questions for her second night. We thought it would take her 3-4 weeks to make it through the book, but my girlie did it all in one night. I'm so proud of her!!!!
I signed up for a Wednesday night class, too. The Wednesday night classes run in 4-week sessions, and the next one starts next week. The class is about the 23rd Psalm and "truly knowing the joy and peace of living under the care of the Good Shepherd." This is something I am coming to know, yet still struggle with every day. When I list out all of the ways the Lord has provided for the kids and I, I am amazed. And humbled. And very, very grateful. And yet I still struggle with worry over our needs. My biggest worry right now is over the coming summer, and then the purchase of whatever we may need for next school year. If this coming summer is like last summer, I will have no income from mid-June through August. And that's assuming I will be watching the same kids next year that I am now (if they're not in school...) I hope I will be, mostly because my heart loves them a lot. :) But I've learned that things change and you can't assume the future is certain.
So...that leaves me worrying, but trying to trust. And trying to save money to get us through summer, but it's really hard when you earn exactly enough for your expenses.
Ever been there?? I'm sure I'm not the only one. :)
So when I saw the class description, I thought to myself, "Wow. That's perfect for my life right now..." I need to trust Him more. He's not going to leave our needs unmet, and I know He will provide. And I need to give up that part of me that likes to plan everything out and know what the future will bring, because He's really working on that with me!!! It's not always for me to figure out. I need to be obedient and responsible, and He will provide what the kids and I need.
As for our "new church"...I'm still on the fence about where we're at. I've had an emotional week, so that could have contributed to my lack of excitement over where we're attending. I also had a brief conversation with one of those "you're not a member of our church. You're an outsider," kind of people. I know that every church has those kinds of people, and I'm certainly not going to judge the entire church by the behavior of one individual. Everyone else I have met has been incredibly kind and helpful (it's a big church, and on Wednesdays I have 5 kids to corral around a building I'm not yet familiar with. I've definitely needed help a few times!!) But I would like to go on record right now as saying that I LOVE LOVE LOVE Warren Woods. Jon Nich completely spoils us with Worship. I doubt I'll ever find a church with Worship music like he provides us with. And I look forward to hearing Pastor Tim or Pastor David preach on Sunday mornings. The sermon I heard this past Sunday was "okay." I'm sure I need to give it a few more weeks. I also miss the friendliness at the Woods. It's big enough to have lots going on, but not so big that you walk in the door and feel "lost." I'm sure part of that is because I've attended for 30 years and know a lot of faces, but I've heard many new attenders say that the "warm, welcome" feeling they got when they walked through the door is what made them stay. And it's true.
So this week...I'm loving Wednesdays for the kids. I'm sure I'll enjoy my class, too. But I'm really missing Warren Woods Sunday morning services. :(
Who knows? Maybe I was led to this new church just to satisfy my curiosity. I've never been to another church, and this one has interested me for awhile. You have to leave what you know to see what you're missing, or to learn that you weren't missing anything at all. Right? :)
It's still in prayer. We will see where the Lord directs my steps. But as far as Awana...my kids are hooked!!!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
2012 "Resolves" and wool dryer balls
Sweet Saturday. Sweet, sweet Saturday. And coffee. Ahhhh...
And sleep coma. Do you ever get those? Tuesday-Friday I'm typically up by 5:30, so I've come to cherish my Saturday mornings. My kiddos wake me at about 8:00, and I flip on cartoons for them so I can cuddle with them and slowly wake up. By 9:00 we head downstairs for breakfast. I love my Saturday mornings. :)
But I also carry that groggy, "I just got way more sleep than I normally do" feeling. And that's where coffee comes into the picture!!
I'm actually looking forward to today. The kids and I are putting away clean laundry, cleaning up the play room, and I have my Thursday cleaning still to get done (one of the kiddos I watch, Ms. Laney, was sick this week and I had the privilege of holding her and neglecting my to-do list without a lot of guilt. If I put her down, she would cry. So as hard as it was, I held her and we played peek-a-boo and baby games and I stored up Laney kisses to get me until next Tuesday. My life is rough sometimes...) :)
So today I'm cleaning, and if I am feeling adventurous, I might head out in the snow to Joan Fabrics for some wool yarn. I found these really neat wool dryer balls at the cloth diaper store.
Wool dryer balls are supposed to reduce static, soften clothes, and reduce the amount of time your clothes spend in the dryer, since the wool absorbs the moisture from your clothing. PLUS, I can add a few drops of essential oils to them and add a light scent to our clothing. One of my "resolves" for 2012 is to spend the year switching out our regular products for natural ones. As we use up what we have, I'll replace it with something either homemade or store-bought that's "natural." In my head, I have my list of what makes a product "natural," but I think anyone can agree that replacing Downy fabric softener and Up & Up dryer sheets for several balls of wool is a step in that direction. :)
Wool dryer balls are around $10 a piece, and it's recommended that you use at least 3 of them for regular loads of laundry. I always run large loads, so I'm thinking 5 of them would be perfect. But I choked at the idea of spend $50 on them, no matter how much they saved our laundry from excess tumbling and heat, and our skin from whatever is in modern fabric softener and dryer sheets.
So I Googled "wool dryer ball tutorial" and found this one. It looks super easy, and the cost of the wool yarn is much less than the cost of premade dryer balls. : D I'll update later with any noticeable changes in static, the softness of our clothes, etc.
My other "resolve" for this new year is to get better about planning out our meals, right down to breakfasts and snacks. There are so many food items i don't buy, because I'm trying hard to eliminate processed foods from our diet. But it makes those moments when the kids say, "Mom, I'm hungry," so frustrating!! I wish I could grab a Poptart or a pack of peanut butter crackers and go back to what I was doing, but I've stopped buying most of that stuff (step 1). Step 2, that I need to get better about, is always having alternatives on hand for them. I think they're a little tired of yogurt, almonds, sunflower seeds, and fruit. So I need to start switching it up. As I get better, I'll be sharing some of my ideas on here. :) I've found that they love fresh veges dipped in hummus, so I'll have that on the menu. I'm still brainstorming some more snack ideas. Any suggestions are welcome!!
That's it for now. I hope everyone has a relaxing, joyful Saturday!!!
And sleep coma. Do you ever get those? Tuesday-Friday I'm typically up by 5:30, so I've come to cherish my Saturday mornings. My kiddos wake me at about 8:00, and I flip on cartoons for them so I can cuddle with them and slowly wake up. By 9:00 we head downstairs for breakfast. I love my Saturday mornings. :)
But I also carry that groggy, "I just got way more sleep than I normally do" feeling. And that's where coffee comes into the picture!!
I'm actually looking forward to today. The kids and I are putting away clean laundry, cleaning up the play room, and I have my Thursday cleaning still to get done (one of the kiddos I watch, Ms. Laney, was sick this week and I had the privilege of holding her and neglecting my to-do list without a lot of guilt. If I put her down, she would cry. So as hard as it was, I held her and we played peek-a-boo and baby games and I stored up Laney kisses to get me until next Tuesday. My life is rough sometimes...) :)
So today I'm cleaning, and if I am feeling adventurous, I might head out in the snow to Joan Fabrics for some wool yarn. I found these really neat wool dryer balls at the cloth diaper store.
Wool dryer balls are supposed to reduce static, soften clothes, and reduce the amount of time your clothes spend in the dryer, since the wool absorbs the moisture from your clothing. PLUS, I can add a few drops of essential oils to them and add a light scent to our clothing. One of my "resolves" for 2012 is to spend the year switching out our regular products for natural ones. As we use up what we have, I'll replace it with something either homemade or store-bought that's "natural." In my head, I have my list of what makes a product "natural," but I think anyone can agree that replacing Downy fabric softener and Up & Up dryer sheets for several balls of wool is a step in that direction. :)
Wool dryer balls are around $10 a piece, and it's recommended that you use at least 3 of them for regular loads of laundry. I always run large loads, so I'm thinking 5 of them would be perfect. But I choked at the idea of spend $50 on them, no matter how much they saved our laundry from excess tumbling and heat, and our skin from whatever is in modern fabric softener and dryer sheets.
So I Googled "wool dryer ball tutorial" and found this one. It looks super easy, and the cost of the wool yarn is much less than the cost of premade dryer balls. : D I'll update later with any noticeable changes in static, the softness of our clothes, etc.
My other "resolve" for this new year is to get better about planning out our meals, right down to breakfasts and snacks. There are so many food items i don't buy, because I'm trying hard to eliminate processed foods from our diet. But it makes those moments when the kids say, "Mom, I'm hungry," so frustrating!! I wish I could grab a Poptart or a pack of peanut butter crackers and go back to what I was doing, but I've stopped buying most of that stuff (step 1). Step 2, that I need to get better about, is always having alternatives on hand for them. I think they're a little tired of yogurt, almonds, sunflower seeds, and fruit. So I need to start switching it up. As I get better, I'll be sharing some of my ideas on here. :) I've found that they love fresh veges dipped in hummus, so I'll have that on the menu. I'm still brainstorming some more snack ideas. Any suggestions are welcome!!
That's it for now. I hope everyone has a relaxing, joyful Saturday!!!
Friday, January 20, 2012
First post of the year. :)
I keep thinking, "I need to update my blog. It's been awhile."
But then I think, "What should I write about? Do I spell out all the changes in our lives, or let them unfold as I resume regular posts?"
I'm going mostly with the latter thought, because it's much easier. And more interesting. :)
But I will say a few things...
1. I have become quite the blog reader lately. I downloaded an RSS feed app on my phone, and I follow about 15 different blogs regularly. It's definitely shown me what topics interest me the most, and which topics make for a dull read. I love, love, love recipes and food facts. When I grow up (ha ha), I want to study nutritional therapy. It's SO INTERESTING to me! But for now, I'm an amateur. An amateur that reads everything I can on the subject. :)
2. I feel like my "crazy, overwhelmed" phase is finally passing. It was tough for a little while, but I think we've figured out a good routine. And my "laid-back" nature is maturing to a level that recognizes the need to do things now, because our schedule doesn't always allow a "later." A good example of this is housework and laundry...it's so tempting to take it easy on Thursdays, because my kids are gone at their dad's and he does that day's schoolwork with them. But if I spend the earlier part of the day (when the sweetie pies i babysit are at my house) working on the laundry, and then once they leave (when I'm super tempted to do absolutely nothing for a little bit) get my weekly deep cleaning done, it makes the rest of the week run so much smoother. I have been so bad about this lately, but no more.
I've also gotten much better about going to bed by 9:00, which does wonders for the next day. I thought it would allow me to give up coffee in the morning, since I drink it with way too much creamer. But alas, I need that "kick-start" to my day, especially when I'm up at 5:30. :)
3. The kids and I have switched churches. I don't know yet if this is an "official" switch, as Aimee has made it clear she wants to come back to Warren Woods sometimes to see her friends, but we've definitely switched on Wednesdays. The kids have joined AWANA and they LOVE IT!!! I wish I would have found AWANA earlier! I liked the first Sunday I attended, too, and the people seem super nice. But I've spent almost 30 years at Warren Woods Church of the Nazarene. The idea of switching is really scary for the "shy, quiet type." I'm keeping it in prayer and not letting fear or nervousness control my decisions. ;-) And for those of you at Warren Woods who may be wondering why I would consider leaving, I may post more in a future blog post, but I will say that I love Warren Woods and I am not leaving because of a problem. It's a stirring I've had in my heart for a little while, but never considered because I'm so at home at there. But when you get a Holy Spirit stirring, you have to pray about it and follow it, even if you don't understand it or like it at first. :) And so far...I like the new church and I feel like I was led directly to it, not just led away from the Woods.
That's a brief overview of some things in our lives. I'm looking forward to posting regular blog posts again!
But then I think, "What should I write about? Do I spell out all the changes in our lives, or let them unfold as I resume regular posts?"
I'm going mostly with the latter thought, because it's much easier. And more interesting. :)
But I will say a few things...
1. I have become quite the blog reader lately. I downloaded an RSS feed app on my phone, and I follow about 15 different blogs regularly. It's definitely shown me what topics interest me the most, and which topics make for a dull read. I love, love, love recipes and food facts. When I grow up (ha ha), I want to study nutritional therapy. It's SO INTERESTING to me! But for now, I'm an amateur. An amateur that reads everything I can on the subject. :)
2. I feel like my "crazy, overwhelmed" phase is finally passing. It was tough for a little while, but I think we've figured out a good routine. And my "laid-back" nature is maturing to a level that recognizes the need to do things now, because our schedule doesn't always allow a "later." A good example of this is housework and laundry...it's so tempting to take it easy on Thursdays, because my kids are gone at their dad's and he does that day's schoolwork with them. But if I spend the earlier part of the day (when the sweetie pies i babysit are at my house) working on the laundry, and then once they leave (when I'm super tempted to do absolutely nothing for a little bit) get my weekly deep cleaning done, it makes the rest of the week run so much smoother. I have been so bad about this lately, but no more.
I've also gotten much better about going to bed by 9:00, which does wonders for the next day. I thought it would allow me to give up coffee in the morning, since I drink it with way too much creamer. But alas, I need that "kick-start" to my day, especially when I'm up at 5:30. :)
3. The kids and I have switched churches. I don't know yet if this is an "official" switch, as Aimee has made it clear she wants to come back to Warren Woods sometimes to see her friends, but we've definitely switched on Wednesdays. The kids have joined AWANA and they LOVE IT!!! I wish I would have found AWANA earlier! I liked the first Sunday I attended, too, and the people seem super nice. But I've spent almost 30 years at Warren Woods Church of the Nazarene. The idea of switching is really scary for the "shy, quiet type." I'm keeping it in prayer and not letting fear or nervousness control my decisions. ;-) And for those of you at Warren Woods who may be wondering why I would consider leaving, I may post more in a future blog post, but I will say that I love Warren Woods and I am not leaving because of a problem. It's a stirring I've had in my heart for a little while, but never considered because I'm so at home at there. But when you get a Holy Spirit stirring, you have to pray about it and follow it, even if you don't understand it or like it at first. :) And so far...I like the new church and I feel like I was led directly to it, not just led away from the Woods.
That's a brief overview of some things in our lives. I'm looking forward to posting regular blog posts again!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Why I am home, and not in El Salvador
It's been awhile since I've posted, and I've mostly decided to put blogging on hold. BUT...today is the day that I was supposed to leave for El Salvador. And for those of you who have heard I stayed home, and for those of you who are finding out right now, I feel like I should at least say something.
But...I don't know what to say. I'm very, very sad. And hurt. And confused. And trying to stay focused on God's plans and desires, and not spend too much time crying about the things I wanted that obviously weren't a part of His plan.
I did pay for my trip in full. The Lord provided, even going above and beyond and allowing me to help a couple other people from my church. But at almost the last minute, a situation arose and I had to make the very hard decision to stay home. I cannot say more than that, and I am very grateful to those that have prayed and not questioned me. I hope and pray that I will be able to accompany my church the next time they travel to El Salvador. And I would appreciate prayers for myself and my kiddos right now.
I do know that sometimes we don't understand the "why" behind God's plans. And that things make a lot more sense when we look back on them, compared to how they look as we're walking through them. I thank and praise the Lord for the faith I've gained and the relationship I have with Him. Even though I am sad, I'm not discouraged. Nor have I lost my joy. And although there is a lot of confusion and a need for wisdom and discernment coming, I am not afraid. I pray all things in my life, good and bad, are used for His Glory and I believe wholeheartedly that they will be. I know He holds all things in His hands, and He knows my heart and my mind and He walks with me. So no matter what, I will not deny Him or turn from His plans. Am I weary at times? Yes. Stressed? Absolutely. Do I wish that life was easy?? Of course I do! Those feelings are so very, very normal and He is gracious and loving and He understands. That's when His peace and love are the most comforting.
So, that is all I can say. I really wish I was arriving in El Salvador along with the other 16 or so people from my church. But I am here, in Michigan, and I am okay. I'm sad, but it's okay to be sad. I don't know the future, but He does. And it's such a wonderful feeling to know that I just have to obey and He will take care of the rest, even when I don't understand what the plan is.
So thank you for your prayers. Thank you for all the support. I have been blessed with some amazing people in my life and I love you dearly.
And I pray the Lord blesses each of your lives, as you have each blessed mine.
But...I don't know what to say. I'm very, very sad. And hurt. And confused. And trying to stay focused on God's plans and desires, and not spend too much time crying about the things I wanted that obviously weren't a part of His plan.
I did pay for my trip in full. The Lord provided, even going above and beyond and allowing me to help a couple other people from my church. But at almost the last minute, a situation arose and I had to make the very hard decision to stay home. I cannot say more than that, and I am very grateful to those that have prayed and not questioned me. I hope and pray that I will be able to accompany my church the next time they travel to El Salvador. And I would appreciate prayers for myself and my kiddos right now.
I do know that sometimes we don't understand the "why" behind God's plans. And that things make a lot more sense when we look back on them, compared to how they look as we're walking through them. I thank and praise the Lord for the faith I've gained and the relationship I have with Him. Even though I am sad, I'm not discouraged. Nor have I lost my joy. And although there is a lot of confusion and a need for wisdom and discernment coming, I am not afraid. I pray all things in my life, good and bad, are used for His Glory and I believe wholeheartedly that they will be. I know He holds all things in His hands, and He knows my heart and my mind and He walks with me. So no matter what, I will not deny Him or turn from His plans. Am I weary at times? Yes. Stressed? Absolutely. Do I wish that life was easy?? Of course I do! Those feelings are so very, very normal and He is gracious and loving and He understands. That's when His peace and love are the most comforting.
So, that is all I can say. I really wish I was arriving in El Salvador along with the other 16 or so people from my church. But I am here, in Michigan, and I am okay. I'm sad, but it's okay to be sad. I don't know the future, but He does. And it's such a wonderful feeling to know that I just have to obey and He will take care of the rest, even when I don't understand what the plan is.
So thank you for your prayers. Thank you for all the support. I have been blessed with some amazing people in my life and I love you dearly.
And I pray the Lord blesses each of your lives, as you have each blessed mine.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Amerie's New Haircut
Someone got a new haircut!!! We're loving it. :) She's had hair past her waist for a couple of years, but we were both tired of the battle every morning to brush it. The only way to prevent tangles was to braid it, but I was getting tired of that every day, too.
I like this length better. :) It's long enough to braid, but short enough to not look scraggly. It's perfect!!!
A night out with Aimee.
It's 8:04 on Monday morning. I'm still in pajama pants, sipping my coffee. 3 kids are watching Jake & the Neverland Pirates, 2 are sleeping and will be woken soon, and 1 more will be here in a couple hours. It's raining, and the weekend was long. It's slow-moving so far, but soon we'll be really busy. :-P
While I sip my french vanilla yumminess, I want to share my Friday evening. The whole weekend went differently than I had planned, but I'll just share my Friday night. :)
On Friday, Aimee and I went to a Secret Keeper Girl conference at a local church. It was a pig pajama party for moms and their daughters, to talk about modesty in today's culture.
The conference was good. I don't feel like it got really deep, but it definitely opened the door to future talks between Aimee and I.
The evening, however...UGH. I've mentioned before that Aimee's love language is quality time, so I took the evening and tried to make it really special. She's been under a lot of stress lately, and really needed some mommy+Aimee time. Unfortunately, everything fell apart. :(
Since the conference was a pajama party, and pajamas were on sale at Target, I asked Aimee if she wanted to get matching pajamas (unfortunately, I didn't think of the idea until the day of). I knew it would be a really special idea to her, and she immediately jumped on it. After, on the way to the conference, we planned on having chicken nuggets and chocolate shakes at McD's (her favorite meal). Simple plans, but very special. :)
We ran off to Target around 5:00, the earliest we could get there (the conference started at 6:30). It took us some serious searching, but we found matching pajama bottoms and matching clearance tops that made a cute little outfit. Just to be sure everything fit and "looked good" (Aimee's BIG concern), we headed to the fitting room. I could tell by all her giggling and smiling that she was having a great time. :) And the pajamas fit perfect and passed her "cute" inspection. Lol. So we ran to the check-out, entering a time crunch, and rushed out of Target. On the way home, we stopped to get pizza for Papa and the other kids, who would all be at home for the evening. By this time, it was just before 6:00. My original intent for the day had been to get to the conference at 5:30, when doors opened, so save a seat for our friends Gretchen and Megan, but it didn't work out in the course of my day. So in my mind, we were already late...
When we got home, we flew upstairs to my room to change into our new pajamas. Aimee was so excited. I wanted to wrap her up in a big, tight hug. It made me so happy to see my girl so happy.
And then we discovered that Aimee's shirt wasn't in the Target bag. I searched all over, thinking I had dropped it or overlooked it or SOMETHING, anything but the shirt still being at Target.
In desperation, I grabbed the reciept...
I had never paid for the shirt. :(
At this point, Aimee started to cry. I told her she had a few options. We could just wear matching pajama pants, and different sweatshirts. We could wear regular clothes. Or we could run back to Target and buy her top, but that would most likely make us a little late. She opted to run back to Target, so we ran out the door in regular clothes, hoping we could find a matching top and find a place to change before the conference.
We got to Target at 6:20. I ran back to the rack, that an hour before had several of the shirts we were looking for. Aimee ran to the food court to buy us pretzels and Dr. Pepper's, since we were both starving and at this point McD's would have to wait until after the conference.
I couldn't find the shirt. Not one, in any size (of course). I ran back to the fitting room, thinking we had dropped it somewhere and it was there. Nothing. I checked every rack they had, and couldn't find a single shirt like mine. In 45 minutes, Target had sold each of the 6 or 7 gray screen-print tees.
I walked back to the front of the store wanting to cry. I knew how excited Aimee had been, and now we were late and we didn't even have a shirt to make up for our tardiness. When she saw me empty handed, she started to cry.
"Nothing ever works out!!" she said. "I always get excited about something and then it never works out!!"
The feeling I had in my chest was a horrible one. I had wanted this evening to be so special and it was blowing up in my face. She's been through so much, more than a girl her age should go through, and this evening was supposed to be special. I knew it wouldn't fix anything, or make up for the stress in her life, but I had so badly wanted to give her a special evening with her mama.
As we walked back to the car, I tried to think of something comforting and wise to say. I think that's the hardest part in parenting. It's not the continuous use of patience, the sleepless nights, or the busyness they bring to your life. It's trying to think of the right things to say when their little hearts are breaking, even though you're just as hurt and confused as they are. I had prayed and prayed that the Lord would bless the evening and it would be something she would remember for ever. This was so not what I had in mind.
We headed to the conference, Aimee crying during the drive. I told her that the evening could still be special and to not give up hope. We talked about choices we have (choosing to persevere and not let the circumstances bring us down), we talked about how Satan can try to screw things up for us, but God can make good come out of everything. We had a really, really good talk and I could see her calming down and finding comfort. She told me that she wasn't going to let it get her down, and she was still really excited about the conference. I told her we'd get our chocolate shakes on the way home, and she said she was at least grateful that Target pretzels are super yummy. :)
The conference was good. She had fun with Megan, and also Charity, another friend from church. The girls giggled and danced and clapped. It was a fun time.
We said our goodbyes 2 1/2 hours later, jumped in the van, and headed to McDonald's for chocolate shakes. The drive-thru line was slowwwww, so slow that the car in front of us drove off before he could even place his order. It was after 9:00, and I knew my dad was expecting us home any second. Papa loves his grandbabies, but 3 hours with them can wear anyone out. :)
And then Papa called.
"Where are you?"
"We just got out, and we'll be home in a minute. Is everything okay?"
"Well," he said. "Amerie was playing and waited too long to go potty. She peed all over the floor and I can't see it to clean it up."
For those who don't know, my father is visually impaired. He can build decks and redo bathrooms and make really good omelets for the kids. But this situation was a little out of his comfort zone. I knew I needed to head home.
I looked at Aimee and asked if she'd take a rain check. There was no way we'd make it through this drive thru in less than 20 minutes. I told her that one night during the next week, I would put her siblings in bed and head out to get chocolate shakes just for me and her. She said that was okay, since the evening was so messed up anyway (and when I picked her up from her dad's last night, she told me that she had thought about it and liked that idea better, because it gave us another evening with something special to do). But it really bothered us both that so much had gone wrong in one evening. :(
On Saturday, after i dropped the kids off at their dad's house, i went back to Target. Hanging on the clearance rack, right on the end, was one little shirt in an XS. It had to have been the shirt. Her shirt. The one that should have been in our hands Friday night. I bought it anyway, knowing that it didn't fix what happened the night before, but at least we'd still have matching pajamas.
We're going to try for another fun evening in October, after El Salvador is paid off. She's worried that the evening will somehow screw up, too, but we 're going to see a movie and have dinner, on a Saturday. It's hard for something like that to get messed up. Plus, when we look back on Friday, it was still a really good evening in spite of what happened. We grew a little closer, in choosing to persevere together. She enjoyed the time with her mom and her friends and the conference.
I don't know why Friday played out like it did. I had prayed and prayed that it would be special, and yet it seemed like everything fell apart. One thing Aimee and I talked about, in the ride between Target and the conference, is that we have to trust that God is in control and has good in mind no matter what happens. I had prayed about the evening, given it to Him, and we live within His will. Which means that nothing in our lives happens without Him overseeing it and keeping His eye on the big picture. We'll probably never understand the "why" behind some events in our life, but it's a huge comfort to know that God is still in control. Bad things (big or small) don't happen because God "forgets about us" for a moment. He's always watching, always in control.
Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." We love Him, and we live for His purpose. So we have to trust Him when things seem to "fall apart." It's not an easy thing to do, but there's a comfort in it. My girl learned that firsthand on Friday.
And in October, we'll have another evening together. Aimee and I are both looking forward to it. Maybe it will seem "perfect," or maybe it will fall apart again. But no matter what, God already has it in His hands and He's working all things out for our good. It's such a comforting thing to know. :)
While I sip my french vanilla yumminess, I want to share my Friday evening. The whole weekend went differently than I had planned, but I'll just share my Friday night. :)
On Friday, Aimee and I went to a Secret Keeper Girl conference at a local church. It was a pig pajama party for moms and their daughters, to talk about modesty in today's culture.
The conference was good. I don't feel like it got really deep, but it definitely opened the door to future talks between Aimee and I.
The evening, however...UGH. I've mentioned before that Aimee's love language is quality time, so I took the evening and tried to make it really special. She's been under a lot of stress lately, and really needed some mommy+Aimee time. Unfortunately, everything fell apart. :(
Since the conference was a pajama party, and pajamas were on sale at Target, I asked Aimee if she wanted to get matching pajamas (unfortunately, I didn't think of the idea until the day of). I knew it would be a really special idea to her, and she immediately jumped on it. After, on the way to the conference, we planned on having chicken nuggets and chocolate shakes at McD's (her favorite meal). Simple plans, but very special. :)
We ran off to Target around 5:00, the earliest we could get there (the conference started at 6:30). It took us some serious searching, but we found matching pajama bottoms and matching clearance tops that made a cute little outfit. Just to be sure everything fit and "looked good" (Aimee's BIG concern), we headed to the fitting room. I could tell by all her giggling and smiling that she was having a great time. :) And the pajamas fit perfect and passed her "cute" inspection. Lol. So we ran to the check-out, entering a time crunch, and rushed out of Target. On the way home, we stopped to get pizza for Papa and the other kids, who would all be at home for the evening. By this time, it was just before 6:00. My original intent for the day had been to get to the conference at 5:30, when doors opened, so save a seat for our friends Gretchen and Megan, but it didn't work out in the course of my day. So in my mind, we were already late...
When we got home, we flew upstairs to my room to change into our new pajamas. Aimee was so excited. I wanted to wrap her up in a big, tight hug. It made me so happy to see my girl so happy.
And then we discovered that Aimee's shirt wasn't in the Target bag. I searched all over, thinking I had dropped it or overlooked it or SOMETHING, anything but the shirt still being at Target.
In desperation, I grabbed the reciept...
I had never paid for the shirt. :(
At this point, Aimee started to cry. I told her she had a few options. We could just wear matching pajama pants, and different sweatshirts. We could wear regular clothes. Or we could run back to Target and buy her top, but that would most likely make us a little late. She opted to run back to Target, so we ran out the door in regular clothes, hoping we could find a matching top and find a place to change before the conference.
We got to Target at 6:20. I ran back to the rack, that an hour before had several of the shirts we were looking for. Aimee ran to the food court to buy us pretzels and Dr. Pepper's, since we were both starving and at this point McD's would have to wait until after the conference.
I couldn't find the shirt. Not one, in any size (of course). I ran back to the fitting room, thinking we had dropped it somewhere and it was there. Nothing. I checked every rack they had, and couldn't find a single shirt like mine. In 45 minutes, Target had sold each of the 6 or 7 gray screen-print tees.
I walked back to the front of the store wanting to cry. I knew how excited Aimee had been, and now we were late and we didn't even have a shirt to make up for our tardiness. When she saw me empty handed, she started to cry.
"Nothing ever works out!!" she said. "I always get excited about something and then it never works out!!"
The feeling I had in my chest was a horrible one. I had wanted this evening to be so special and it was blowing up in my face. She's been through so much, more than a girl her age should go through, and this evening was supposed to be special. I knew it wouldn't fix anything, or make up for the stress in her life, but I had so badly wanted to give her a special evening with her mama.
As we walked back to the car, I tried to think of something comforting and wise to say. I think that's the hardest part in parenting. It's not the continuous use of patience, the sleepless nights, or the busyness they bring to your life. It's trying to think of the right things to say when their little hearts are breaking, even though you're just as hurt and confused as they are. I had prayed and prayed that the Lord would bless the evening and it would be something she would remember for ever. This was so not what I had in mind.
We headed to the conference, Aimee crying during the drive. I told her that the evening could still be special and to not give up hope. We talked about choices we have (choosing to persevere and not let the circumstances bring us down), we talked about how Satan can try to screw things up for us, but God can make good come out of everything. We had a really, really good talk and I could see her calming down and finding comfort. She told me that she wasn't going to let it get her down, and she was still really excited about the conference. I told her we'd get our chocolate shakes on the way home, and she said she was at least grateful that Target pretzels are super yummy. :)
The conference was good. She had fun with Megan, and also Charity, another friend from church. The girls giggled and danced and clapped. It was a fun time.
We said our goodbyes 2 1/2 hours later, jumped in the van, and headed to McDonald's for chocolate shakes. The drive-thru line was slowwwww, so slow that the car in front of us drove off before he could even place his order. It was after 9:00, and I knew my dad was expecting us home any second. Papa loves his grandbabies, but 3 hours with them can wear anyone out. :)
And then Papa called.
"Where are you?"
"We just got out, and we'll be home in a minute. Is everything okay?"
"Well," he said. "Amerie was playing and waited too long to go potty. She peed all over the floor and I can't see it to clean it up."
For those who don't know, my father is visually impaired. He can build decks and redo bathrooms and make really good omelets for the kids. But this situation was a little out of his comfort zone. I knew I needed to head home.
I looked at Aimee and asked if she'd take a rain check. There was no way we'd make it through this drive thru in less than 20 minutes. I told her that one night during the next week, I would put her siblings in bed and head out to get chocolate shakes just for me and her. She said that was okay, since the evening was so messed up anyway (and when I picked her up from her dad's last night, she told me that she had thought about it and liked that idea better, because it gave us another evening with something special to do). But it really bothered us both that so much had gone wrong in one evening. :(
On Saturday, after i dropped the kids off at their dad's house, i went back to Target. Hanging on the clearance rack, right on the end, was one little shirt in an XS. It had to have been the shirt. Her shirt. The one that should have been in our hands Friday night. I bought it anyway, knowing that it didn't fix what happened the night before, but at least we'd still have matching pajamas.
We're going to try for another fun evening in October, after El Salvador is paid off. She's worried that the evening will somehow screw up, too, but we 're going to see a movie and have dinner, on a Saturday. It's hard for something like that to get messed up. Plus, when we look back on Friday, it was still a really good evening in spite of what happened. We grew a little closer, in choosing to persevere together. She enjoyed the time with her mom and her friends and the conference.
I don't know why Friday played out like it did. I had prayed and prayed that it would be special, and yet it seemed like everything fell apart. One thing Aimee and I talked about, in the ride between Target and the conference, is that we have to trust that God is in control and has good in mind no matter what happens. I had prayed about the evening, given it to Him, and we live within His will. Which means that nothing in our lives happens without Him overseeing it and keeping His eye on the big picture. We'll probably never understand the "why" behind some events in our life, but it's a huge comfort to know that God is still in control. Bad things (big or small) don't happen because God "forgets about us" for a moment. He's always watching, always in control.
Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." We love Him, and we live for His purpose. So we have to trust Him when things seem to "fall apart." It's not an easy thing to do, but there's a comfort in it. My girl learned that firsthand on Friday.
And in October, we'll have another evening together. Aimee and I are both looking forward to it. Maybe it will seem "perfect," or maybe it will fall apart again. But no matter what, God already has it in His hands and He's working all things out for our good. It's such a comforting thing to know. :)
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Lexi's Favorite Song
Here's your daily dose of cuteness!!!! I love this girly more than words can describe. :)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
An update on life and the El Salvador trip :)
A month. It's been a whole MONTH since I last blogged. And it's been a crazy busy month. :)
First, we started school. :D I took lots of pictures on my mom's camera, but I'm so technologically challenged, it might be awhile before I get them on here...
So...here's the only pic I took on my phone! ;-)
Isn't she a cutie??
The kids like school. I'm still working on getting them to do schoolwork without complaining when they don't feel like it. We're getting better about finding a routine, and the kids learned firsthand that when emergencies pop up, schoolwork still has to be completed. Monday, Lex ended up with double ear infections and we made a trip to the doctor's office. Even when we were home, she was crying and clingy and we didn't get much work done. So yesterday's load was a little heavier than normal.
We also got Andrew his first pair of glasses!! I think he looks SO handsome!
He's needed them for awhile, much longer than I thought. For those familiar with prescription numbers, Andrew has one eye that's a -2, and his other eye is -5. Since his eyes are so different, he's probably been using the stronger eye almost exclusively. Hopefully the corrected vision will help strengthen his weaker eye, but he may need a patch over his good one to force his "blurry eye" to see on it's own. Poor buddy. :( But he likes his new glasses, that are styled like a race car. :) We had to special order them, and thankfully they were still covered under our insurance. He was not happy about glasses, but race car glasses?? He made an exception. :)
Another thing I've been busy with is preparing the house for winter. I pulled out all of our winter clothes, assesed what we have and have been adding what we don't have. It's a task I have a lot of fun with. :) Aimee likes to help, too. Yesterday she asked me repeatedly if she could be done with school so she could "clean her room." She wants my copy of Martha Stewart's Homekeeping Handbook, and reads it for pleasure. Lol. Crazy girl. :)
In searching through clothes for this winter, I pulled out all of my 3T clothing for Lexi. She'll be 3 in December, so she should be growing into it soon. Somehow, I came up a little short in outfits for her, so I took advantage of a Target sale. Lexi LOVES kitties, polka dots, and the color purple. They had outfits in all 3!! And even though I say it too much, I'll say it again...my baby is a peanut. I'm very thankful for this, but it's kind of funny.
This is Lexi in 3T pants...
They hardly stay up, 'cuz she's so thin. I don't know what we'll do when she's finally potty trained and no longer has a diaper to hold her pants up!!
This is a pair of 2T pants I purchased by mistake...
I ended up keeping them. :) I'm sure they won't fit for long, but I can't believe how long the 3T's are!!
My El Salvador trip is coming up fast, too. I just realized this morning that it's less than 2 months away. I am SO NERVOUS. I think the hardest part by far will be leaving my kiddos at home for that long. Aimee's already cried buckets of tears over it. I've never been away from them for more than a few days, and the trip is 9 days long. I've been preparing them that they will kiss me goodnight on Sunday, and they probably won't see me until the next Wednesday. Of course, the younger ones don't understand time like that. But they understand it's long. :( I love me babies so much. It will be hard to be gone for so long.
And as for the funding of the trip...THANK YOU to those wonderful people out there who have donated!! I've received about $600 in donations towards the trip, some anonymous (so know that I am grateful to your generosity, even if I can't mail you a thank you!!!!) and some from people I'm blessed to call "friend." I have 2 1/2 weeks left before the final payment is due, and I still owe $485. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sweating a little bit (lol), but I'm trusting in God to provide. He ALWAYS provides, and I know He called me on this trip and assured me He would provide. It might make me a little nervous, but He's still got it in His hands!! :D I will definitely be posting a blog once my trip is paid off, and when I return I will post all about it. If I can, I'll post while I'm there, but again...technologically challenged. ;-)
As I end this post, I just want to say one little thing...I don't know how things come out in my posts to those who read them. I always assume things come out exactly like I meant it. :) But I just want to say, in case it hasn't come across in full, that this El Salvador trip has been a HUGE act of faith, in so many ways.
First and foremost, I can't afford to go. At all. Only by the intervention of the Lord has this trip been funded. I love any opportunity to bring the Lord Glory and to be used by Him, but this is definitely one of those times when my faith was tested and stretched. I actually panicked at one point and said I wasn't going and that it had "become impossible." I'm not proud of it, but I did it, when I had lost my income. And then I put my faith in Him and His promises and His reassurance that He would provide. Nothing is impossible for God, even if it seems impossible to us. :) And He has been providing!! The $485 in the next 17 days seems like a lot, but I know it will be provided. God is amazing. And I love being a part of the Lord at work. :)
I also need to have faith in leaving my children. Not only will it be incredibly hard (I don't even know if I'll get to call home...), but my plan for their care taking has fallen through a little bit. I had planned on the kids staying with Nana and Papa, but Nana is now working part time. We're happy for Nana's new job. :) But I'm leaving in less than two months and my "have to have a plan" personality is a little uncomfortable with this plan being up in the air a little bit. :) But again, God had this all in His hands from the beginning and I need to trust in Him...
So...that's most of our life right now. I'm hoping to get back to blogging, because I've come to enjoy it. :) I have several trips planned for the kids, too, and I want to start posting about those. I really need to figure out the camera. :-P
Have a blessed day! :)
First, we started school. :D I took lots of pictures on my mom's camera, but I'm so technologically challenged, it might be awhile before I get them on here...
So...here's the only pic I took on my phone! ;-)
Isn't she a cutie??
The kids like school. I'm still working on getting them to do schoolwork without complaining when they don't feel like it. We're getting better about finding a routine, and the kids learned firsthand that when emergencies pop up, schoolwork still has to be completed. Monday, Lex ended up with double ear infections and we made a trip to the doctor's office. Even when we were home, she was crying and clingy and we didn't get much work done. So yesterday's load was a little heavier than normal.
We also got Andrew his first pair of glasses!! I think he looks SO handsome!
Another thing I've been busy with is preparing the house for winter. I pulled out all of our winter clothes, assesed what we have and have been adding what we don't have. It's a task I have a lot of fun with. :) Aimee likes to help, too. Yesterday she asked me repeatedly if she could be done with school so she could "clean her room." She wants my copy of Martha Stewart's Homekeeping Handbook, and reads it for pleasure. Lol. Crazy girl. :)
In searching through clothes for this winter, I pulled out all of my 3T clothing for Lexi. She'll be 3 in December, so she should be growing into it soon. Somehow, I came up a little short in outfits for her, so I took advantage of a Target sale. Lexi LOVES kitties, polka dots, and the color purple. They had outfits in all 3!! And even though I say it too much, I'll say it again...my baby is a peanut. I'm very thankful for this, but it's kind of funny.
This is Lexi in 3T pants...
This is a pair of 2T pants I purchased by mistake...
My El Salvador trip is coming up fast, too. I just realized this morning that it's less than 2 months away. I am SO NERVOUS. I think the hardest part by far will be leaving my kiddos at home for that long. Aimee's already cried buckets of tears over it. I've never been away from them for more than a few days, and the trip is 9 days long. I've been preparing them that they will kiss me goodnight on Sunday, and they probably won't see me until the next Wednesday. Of course, the younger ones don't understand time like that. But they understand it's long. :( I love me babies so much. It will be hard to be gone for so long.
And as for the funding of the trip...THANK YOU to those wonderful people out there who have donated!! I've received about $600 in donations towards the trip, some anonymous (so know that I am grateful to your generosity, even if I can't mail you a thank you!!!!) and some from people I'm blessed to call "friend." I have 2 1/2 weeks left before the final payment is due, and I still owe $485. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sweating a little bit (lol), but I'm trusting in God to provide. He ALWAYS provides, and I know He called me on this trip and assured me He would provide. It might make me a little nervous, but He's still got it in His hands!! :D I will definitely be posting a blog once my trip is paid off, and when I return I will post all about it. If I can, I'll post while I'm there, but again...technologically challenged. ;-)
As I end this post, I just want to say one little thing...I don't know how things come out in my posts to those who read them. I always assume things come out exactly like I meant it. :) But I just want to say, in case it hasn't come across in full, that this El Salvador trip has been a HUGE act of faith, in so many ways.
First and foremost, I can't afford to go. At all. Only by the intervention of the Lord has this trip been funded. I love any opportunity to bring the Lord Glory and to be used by Him, but this is definitely one of those times when my faith was tested and stretched. I actually panicked at one point and said I wasn't going and that it had "become impossible." I'm not proud of it, but I did it, when I had lost my income. And then I put my faith in Him and His promises and His reassurance that He would provide. Nothing is impossible for God, even if it seems impossible to us. :) And He has been providing!! The $485 in the next 17 days seems like a lot, but I know it will be provided. God is amazing. And I love being a part of the Lord at work. :)
I also need to have faith in leaving my children. Not only will it be incredibly hard (I don't even know if I'll get to call home...), but my plan for their care taking has fallen through a little bit. I had planned on the kids staying with Nana and Papa, but Nana is now working part time. We're happy for Nana's new job. :) But I'm leaving in less than two months and my "have to have a plan" personality is a little uncomfortable with this plan being up in the air a little bit. :) But again, God had this all in His hands from the beginning and I need to trust in Him...
So...that's most of our life right now. I'm hoping to get back to blogging, because I've come to enjoy it. :) I have several trips planned for the kids, too, and I want to start posting about those. I really need to figure out the camera. :-P
Have a blessed day! :)
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Julie's "5 Things"
I called my friend Julie last night. She's the friend from church who loans us our Sonlight materials, and I had to share my really cool Monday morning surprise with her. If you missed it on facebook, I'll share it here...
In this post from Sunday night, I talked about our box from Sonlight arriving and how excited the kids and I are to start school. In my moment of amazement at how the Lord works and extreme gratitude at His provision and everything that He has done in mine and the kids lives, I sent an email off to Luke Holzmann (and everyone at Sonlight), thanking them for their incredible curriculum and their part in how far we have come. I figured Sonlight, like every other incredible company, gets bombarded with emails every day. The best I was hoping for was simply that my email would get read, by someone who cared about what I wrote. On Monday morning, I received an email back informing me that my email had been posted as one of the blog posts on the Sonlight blog for Monday!! I couldn't believe how cool that was. :) You can read my email/post on the Sonlight blog here.
The other reason I called Julie was that she had a "tip," from one mother to another, that she wanted to share with me. It was so good, I had to share it here. :)
I mentioned to Julie, in a brief conversation we had at church on Sunday, that I have really been working with my kids to teach them Love and Respect. I want them to know that the way you treat others should always be with love and respect (we're focusing mostly on our siblings right now ;-), and I've been working with them to show them what that really means. When they act out in anger and frustration, we discuss examples of loving and respectful responses instead of hitting or yelling or taking an object from their sibling. It's been about a month of focusing on this lesson and they're starting to "get it." More than once I've had one of them run to me and tell me how they acted or reacted with one of the behaviors we discussed, pride showing on their beautiful little face. :)
Julie's tip, that she used with her own children when they were little, was to discuss 5 specific things every morning before they start their day. By discussing them every morning, it put those 5 things fresh in their minds to refer to throughout the day. She said they were also a good thing to go over before leaving the house, to remind them to behave with the same goals while out in public.
This list varies slightly from what Julie told me last night, but the beauty of it is that you can adjust it to fit your own family.
The 5 Things:
1. We love God and respect God. We obey Him and His Word, and we keep Him above all else in our lives. We remember to start our day with prayer and bible time, and we pray (talk) to Him throughout the day.
2. We love and respect our parents.
3. We love and respect our siblings.
4. We love and respect our family and our friends.
5. We remember our manners all day.
You can expand on each item, especially in the beginning. I expanded on the first one in my list. You could discuss a few "manners" for them to remember, such as not interrupting adults, keeping "inside voices," etc. Explain, more than once, what "love" and "respect" mean. Give examples. After time, they will remember what you've discussed. But in the beginning, it's good to remind them.
I went over this list for the first time with my kids this morning. We counted each item on our fingers, as a visual reference to help them remember over time. Julie said that in moments when they needed a "reminder" she would put her hand up, fingers open, and ask, "who remembers the 5 things?" Now that her children are older (aged 7+), she doesn't need to pull out the list of 5 things as much. They are beyond familiar with it, and it has made a huge impact on how they treat each other. She also said to remind them that their siblings are their best friends. Some friends will come and go, but your siblings are your best friends. Remember that in how you treat them.
After we went over the 5 things this morning, Andrew asked, "Can someone get me a piece of paper please?" Amerie jumped up and said, "I will!" When she handed it to him, he told her "thank you."
And then their faces lit up. "Mommy!!! I remembered the 5 things!! I remembered my manners and love and respect!"
I'm sure it's not that easy, but it was so rewarding to see them "get it" right from the start. And f we continue to discuss the 5 things every morning, they will start remembering throughout the day, as Julie's kids do. The simple discussion of love and respect has already made an impact on their behavior. I'm really excited about the 5 things.
And really, really grateful the Lord blessed my life with people like Julie. :)
In this post from Sunday night, I talked about our box from Sonlight arriving and how excited the kids and I are to start school. In my moment of amazement at how the Lord works and extreme gratitude at His provision and everything that He has done in mine and the kids lives, I sent an email off to Luke Holzmann (and everyone at Sonlight), thanking them for their incredible curriculum and their part in how far we have come. I figured Sonlight, like every other incredible company, gets bombarded with emails every day. The best I was hoping for was simply that my email would get read, by someone who cared about what I wrote. On Monday morning, I received an email back informing me that my email had been posted as one of the blog posts on the Sonlight blog for Monday!! I couldn't believe how cool that was. :) You can read my email/post on the Sonlight blog here.
The other reason I called Julie was that she had a "tip," from one mother to another, that she wanted to share with me. It was so good, I had to share it here. :)
I mentioned to Julie, in a brief conversation we had at church on Sunday, that I have really been working with my kids to teach them Love and Respect. I want them to know that the way you treat others should always be with love and respect (we're focusing mostly on our siblings right now ;-), and I've been working with them to show them what that really means. When they act out in anger and frustration, we discuss examples of loving and respectful responses instead of hitting or yelling or taking an object from their sibling. It's been about a month of focusing on this lesson and they're starting to "get it." More than once I've had one of them run to me and tell me how they acted or reacted with one of the behaviors we discussed, pride showing on their beautiful little face. :)
Julie's tip, that she used with her own children when they were little, was to discuss 5 specific things every morning before they start their day. By discussing them every morning, it put those 5 things fresh in their minds to refer to throughout the day. She said they were also a good thing to go over before leaving the house, to remind them to behave with the same goals while out in public.
This list varies slightly from what Julie told me last night, but the beauty of it is that you can adjust it to fit your own family.
The 5 Things:
1. We love God and respect God. We obey Him and His Word, and we keep Him above all else in our lives. We remember to start our day with prayer and bible time, and we pray (talk) to Him throughout the day.
2. We love and respect our parents.
3. We love and respect our siblings.
4. We love and respect our family and our friends.
5. We remember our manners all day.
You can expand on each item, especially in the beginning. I expanded on the first one in my list. You could discuss a few "manners" for them to remember, such as not interrupting adults, keeping "inside voices," etc. Explain, more than once, what "love" and "respect" mean. Give examples. After time, they will remember what you've discussed. But in the beginning, it's good to remind them.
I went over this list for the first time with my kids this morning. We counted each item on our fingers, as a visual reference to help them remember over time. Julie said that in moments when they needed a "reminder" she would put her hand up, fingers open, and ask, "who remembers the 5 things?" Now that her children are older (aged 7+), she doesn't need to pull out the list of 5 things as much. They are beyond familiar with it, and it has made a huge impact on how they treat each other. She also said to remind them that their siblings are their best friends. Some friends will come and go, but your siblings are your best friends. Remember that in how you treat them.
After we went over the 5 things this morning, Andrew asked, "Can someone get me a piece of paper please?" Amerie jumped up and said, "I will!" When she handed it to him, he told her "thank you."
And then their faces lit up. "Mommy!!! I remembered the 5 things!! I remembered my manners and love and respect!"
I'm sure it's not that easy, but it was so rewarding to see them "get it" right from the start. And f we continue to discuss the 5 things every morning, they will start remembering throughout the day, as Julie's kids do. The simple discussion of love and respect has already made an impact on their behavior. I'm really excited about the 5 things.
And really, really grateful the Lord blessed my life with people like Julie. :)
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
A lesson in patience
I lost my patience with my little girl this morning.
I was cuddling in my bed with Amerie and Lexi, watching the Disney Channel. Amerie decided to jump out of my bed to grab something, and in so doing, she knocked the cable adapter plug out of the wall, filling my room with the very loud sound of "tv snow."
It was an accident. She's 4. She saw the object she was after and nothing else, in the moment she hopped off my bed. I should have just plugged the cord back in and we could have gone back to Jake and the Neverland Pirates.
But instead, I snapped at her to be more careful. And then I plugged the cord back in like it was a huge effort for me to do.
I'm not proud of myself. I don't even want to admit it here. But even though I pray daily that I can have an abundance of patience with my kids, especially during times of "childish immaturity," sometimes I'm really glad there's no one in the room to see me drop the ball.
After my lovely display, she started to cry.
"Mommy!!" she said, "I'm just a kid!! I don't know what I'm doing."
Wisdom from a 4 year old. And words that convicted me quicker than anything else could have. I've been losing my patience with her a lot lately. She's my "accident prone" child. And (one of) my "I hear you, but I'm choosing to ignore you" children. As much as I'd like to be SuperMom, sometimes I lose my cool. Even when she's not acting in defiance, just childish immaturity.
As soon as she said those words, my heart broke a little. I immediately scooped her up onto my lap and told her I was sorry for losing my patience. I told her I knew that she didn't do it on purpose, and I asked her to forgive me. She gave forgiveness freely, along with a hug and a kiss. And then she jumped off my lap like the incident never happened.
I pray every day for the Lord to help me be the best mother I can be for my children. I pray for patience in all circumstances, wisdom and insight into every situation. He has provided it more than I had ever hoped for. I still have moments like this morning, when I behave differently than who I want to be. But thankfully, I see it for what it is...just a momentary screw up on the road to Christ-likeness. And an opportunity for me to learn a new lesson.
And I'm even more thankful that the Lord is a lot more patient with me than I sometimes am with my own children. He's an awesome example for me to follow. :)
.
I was cuddling in my bed with Amerie and Lexi, watching the Disney Channel. Amerie decided to jump out of my bed to grab something, and in so doing, she knocked the cable adapter plug out of the wall, filling my room with the very loud sound of "tv snow."
It was an accident. She's 4. She saw the object she was after and nothing else, in the moment she hopped off my bed. I should have just plugged the cord back in and we could have gone back to Jake and the Neverland Pirates.
But instead, I snapped at her to be more careful. And then I plugged the cord back in like it was a huge effort for me to do.
I'm not proud of myself. I don't even want to admit it here. But even though I pray daily that I can have an abundance of patience with my kids, especially during times of "childish immaturity," sometimes I'm really glad there's no one in the room to see me drop the ball.
After my lovely display, she started to cry.
"Mommy!!" she said, "I'm just a kid!! I don't know what I'm doing."
Wisdom from a 4 year old. And words that convicted me quicker than anything else could have. I've been losing my patience with her a lot lately. She's my "accident prone" child. And (one of) my "I hear you, but I'm choosing to ignore you" children. As much as I'd like to be SuperMom, sometimes I lose my cool. Even when she's not acting in defiance, just childish immaturity.
As soon as she said those words, my heart broke a little. I immediately scooped her up onto my lap and told her I was sorry for losing my patience. I told her I knew that she didn't do it on purpose, and I asked her to forgive me. She gave forgiveness freely, along with a hug and a kiss. And then she jumped off my lap like the incident never happened.
I pray every day for the Lord to help me be the best mother I can be for my children. I pray for patience in all circumstances, wisdom and insight into every situation. He has provided it more than I had ever hoped for. I still have moments like this morning, when I behave differently than who I want to be. But thankfully, I see it for what it is...just a momentary screw up on the road to Christ-likeness. And an opportunity for me to learn a new lesson.
And I'm even more thankful that the Lord is a lot more patient with me than I sometimes am with my own children. He's an awesome example for me to follow. :)
.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Box Day
I should be in bed. :) My babies are asleep, and I'm exhausted after a long week. But I've been wanting and wanting to get this post out and it's so hard to do when all of my kiddos are awake and "needy." ;-)
Our school supplies arrived this weekend. :) God is ever faithful and true, and He has been so good to the kids and I. Last year was so hard, but He assured me that this year, and the years to come, would be so much better because I clung to Him through it all.
One of the blessings, in addition to being able to use free Sonlight books, was the ability to put some money aside and order everything that I needed to have a "complete" curriculum. Last year was great for what we could handle at the time, but this year I really want to dig deep and challenge the kids and their ability to learn. I ordered workbooks in areas they struggle, consumable items (those don't get loaned to me), and a few missing items from my shelves. I even ordered a few books for Lexi that are part of Sonlight's nursery school program.
Today, after hearing me talk and talk about how much better this year will be and how excited I am about our curriculum for this year, Aimee finally said, "Mom...you've got me wanting to start school. I'm excited now. I want to start now." She has to wait one more week. :) I want to have my To-Do list empty before we start, so I have no tasks hanging over my head when we're busy learning. I've already pulled out and washed all of our winter clothes, and this week I will find room for them in our closets.
But...
Andrew came across one of Aimee's schoolbooks for this year. It's a chapter book for 4th grade and up, about the Wright brothers and how they came to invent the airplane. It has a bi-plane on the cover. If you know Andrew, you know he loves bi-planes. And jets. And bombers. :) So he asked me to read it to him. I honestly thought he would be bored after the first few pages. It's a chapter book, with no pictures. Just words. And he's 6. And a boy. And easily distracted.
I ended up stopping after two chapters so he would go to sleep. He begged me, "One more page! Just one! One more page!!" He learned about wind resistance and the importance of aerodynamics. And that if you draw your design out on paper, and work from that, your model will be significantly better. He's already planning on drawing the "perfect bomber" tomorrow on paper, and we'll work with measurements and build it from scrap wood.
I loved seeing his brain work as he listened to the story. He asks such well-thought questions. He truly amazes me. I thought he would be bored, but instead sparks were lit. I'm so excited to dive into our books this year and watch my kids learn. Aimee is studying American History this year, and Andrew and Amerie are studying different world cultures. I love our curriculum. :) I love Sonlight. I love my kids.
And above all, I love the Lord. I know I let Him down every day, even though I try my best. But He loves me anyway. And He has been so faithful and so good to us. I'm amazed at how perfect life can feel in the middle of so many "imperfections."
We serve an awesome God.
One of the blessings, in addition to being able to use free Sonlight books, was the ability to put some money aside and order everything that I needed to have a "complete" curriculum. Last year was great for what we could handle at the time, but this year I really want to dig deep and challenge the kids and their ability to learn. I ordered workbooks in areas they struggle, consumable items (those don't get loaned to me), and a few missing items from my shelves. I even ordered a few books for Lexi that are part of Sonlight's nursery school program.
Today, after hearing me talk and talk about how much better this year will be and how excited I am about our curriculum for this year, Aimee finally said, "Mom...you've got me wanting to start school. I'm excited now. I want to start now." She has to wait one more week. :) I want to have my To-Do list empty before we start, so I have no tasks hanging over my head when we're busy learning. I've already pulled out and washed all of our winter clothes, and this week I will find room for them in our closets.
But...
Andrew came across one of Aimee's schoolbooks for this year. It's a chapter book for 4th grade and up, about the Wright brothers and how they came to invent the airplane. It has a bi-plane on the cover. If you know Andrew, you know he loves bi-planes. And jets. And bombers. :) So he asked me to read it to him. I honestly thought he would be bored after the first few pages. It's a chapter book, with no pictures. Just words. And he's 6. And a boy. And easily distracted.
I ended up stopping after two chapters so he would go to sleep. He begged me, "One more page! Just one! One more page!!" He learned about wind resistance and the importance of aerodynamics. And that if you draw your design out on paper, and work from that, your model will be significantly better. He's already planning on drawing the "perfect bomber" tomorrow on paper, and we'll work with measurements and build it from scrap wood.
I loved seeing his brain work as he listened to the story. He asks such well-thought questions. He truly amazes me. I thought he would be bored, but instead sparks were lit. I'm so excited to dive into our books this year and watch my kids learn. Aimee is studying American History this year, and Andrew and Amerie are studying different world cultures. I love our curriculum. :) I love Sonlight. I love my kids.
And above all, I love the Lord. I know I let Him down every day, even though I try my best. But He loves me anyway. And He has been so faithful and so good to us. I'm amazed at how perfect life can feel in the middle of so many "imperfections."
We serve an awesome God.
Friday, August 12, 2011
A story...
I tucked Amerie into bed, being careful to lay the blankets "just right."
I leaned in, kissed her forehead, and then her cheeks. As I sat back, I smiled.
"I love you. baby girl."
"I love you, too, mommy," she said with a sweet smile.
I smiled again. "Amerie...you're beautiful."
She tucked her hair behind her ears, rolled over, and replied, "I know I am."
Maybe I've gone overboard in telling my kids how beautiful and awesome I think they are. ;-)
I leaned in, kissed her forehead, and then her cheeks. As I sat back, I smiled.
"I love you. baby girl."
"I love you, too, mommy," she said with a sweet smile.
I smiled again. "Amerie...you're beautiful."
She tucked her hair behind her ears, rolled over, and replied, "I know I am."
Maybe I've gone overboard in telling my kids how beautiful and awesome I think they are. ;-)
Thursday, August 4, 2011
An impromptu drive
I took my babies for a drive last night. My car battery had died in my van Tuesday morning (after I packed up all 4 kids to head to the beach. Be glad you weren't in my van when I had to tell them we weren't going!!) My mama called a towtruck last night to gimme a jump, and I was told to drive it around for a bit to recharge the battery.
I suppose I could have driven for 20 minutes like I was told and headed back home. But I loooove a liesurely drive, and since I'm so careful with my gas (aren't we all?), I rarely ever allow myself to take one. I had a little over a quarter tank of gas and about 2 hours of daylight left. Just this once, I decided to take my kids for a drive "just for fun."
I knew where I would go. I always head to one of two places when I'm "aimlessly" out for a drive. If I need to pray and be alone, I head to Jeffereson and drive along the water. It calms me.
If I'm happy, and just want to enjoy a beautiful drive, I head to Romeo.
My mom and sis and I were recently asked the question, "If you could live anywhere in the entire world, where would you live?" Emma, of course, said "New Bern, NC." Our hearts are all thanking the Lord for blessing her with the move back to New Bern this week.
My mom and I? We both gave the same answer.
"Romeo, MI."
When I was in early elementary school, we lived in Washington Twp., just outside of Romeo. For those familiar with the area, our old house sits right on the corner of 30 mile & Campground.
This is what it looks like now...
I loved that house. And the 2-acre lot, that held a barn, chicken coops, and a milkhouse. I'm a country girl (hence the blog address) and these things make me happy. I was angry for years when we moved away.
So when I allow myself to, I head up there, drive around, and ask the Lord that if it is within His Will for mine and the kids lives, could we someday end up in a house with a big 'ole yard North of 28 Mile? I don't care so much about the house. I just want my kids to be able to run and play and climb trees and pick apples and thoroughly enjoy thier childhood outdoors. :) I loved heading outside and "discovering" when we lived in that house.
I also love these...
Dirt roads. :) To me, they're a sign that I'm where I want to be.
Two things repeatedly ran through my mind last night, as I drove along the gravel covered dirt...Jason Aldean's "Dirt Road Anthem" (of course) and "I want to live up here. Spend my life up here. Raise my kids and grow old up here."
I don't know what it is about that end of the county. Maybe it's because deep down, I'm not a city/suburb girl. I'm a barefoot country girl, and as a child I had a taste of that life. I've wanted to go back ever since.
Emma is back in New Bern. I hope someday I can end up near Romeo. :) But again, at the risk of sounding like all I do is say the same things, I know the Lord has a plan for the kids and I and I want that plan more than anything. His plans are always so much better than ours. :) And when I am spending eternity in Heaven praising Him, it's not going to matter so much where I raised my family. What will matter is that I raised them every day to love and serve Him, and that we gave everything (even our simplest desires) to Him. If He leads us to Romeo, as He led Emma and Greg back to New Bern, I will be more excited than I could even begin to tell you. But even living in Sterling Heights, in my parents home, I've learned to be content and happy and at peace. I don't know where we'll be in the future or what our lives will be like. But He's already working it out for our good, and it's better than anything I could dream up on my own. :)
I suppose I could have driven for 20 minutes like I was told and headed back home. But I loooove a liesurely drive, and since I'm so careful with my gas (aren't we all?), I rarely ever allow myself to take one. I had a little over a quarter tank of gas and about 2 hours of daylight left. Just this once, I decided to take my kids for a drive "just for fun."
I knew where I would go. I always head to one of two places when I'm "aimlessly" out for a drive. If I need to pray and be alone, I head to Jeffereson and drive along the water. It calms me.
If I'm happy, and just want to enjoy a beautiful drive, I head to Romeo.
My mom and sis and I were recently asked the question, "If you could live anywhere in the entire world, where would you live?" Emma, of course, said "New Bern, NC." Our hearts are all thanking the Lord for blessing her with the move back to New Bern this week.
My mom and I? We both gave the same answer.
"Romeo, MI."
When I was in early elementary school, we lived in Washington Twp., just outside of Romeo. For those familiar with the area, our old house sits right on the corner of 30 mile & Campground.
This is what it looks like now...
So when I allow myself to, I head up there, drive around, and ask the Lord that if it is within His Will for mine and the kids lives, could we someday end up in a house with a big 'ole yard North of 28 Mile? I don't care so much about the house. I just want my kids to be able to run and play and climb trees and pick apples and thoroughly enjoy thier childhood outdoors. :) I loved heading outside and "discovering" when we lived in that house.
I also love these...
Two things repeatedly ran through my mind last night, as I drove along the gravel covered dirt...Jason Aldean's "Dirt Road Anthem" (of course) and "I want to live up here. Spend my life up here. Raise my kids and grow old up here."
I don't know what it is about that end of the county. Maybe it's because deep down, I'm not a city/suburb girl. I'm a barefoot country girl, and as a child I had a taste of that life. I've wanted to go back ever since.
Emma is back in New Bern. I hope someday I can end up near Romeo. :) But again, at the risk of sounding like all I do is say the same things, I know the Lord has a plan for the kids and I and I want that plan more than anything. His plans are always so much better than ours. :) And when I am spending eternity in Heaven praising Him, it's not going to matter so much where I raised my family. What will matter is that I raised them every day to love and serve Him, and that we gave everything (even our simplest desires) to Him. If He leads us to Romeo, as He led Emma and Greg back to New Bern, I will be more excited than I could even begin to tell you. But even living in Sterling Heights, in my parents home, I've learned to be content and happy and at peace. I don't know where we'll be in the future or what our lives will be like. But He's already working it out for our good, and it's better than anything I could dream up on my own. :)
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Photo Shoot
About a month ago, my mom hired a photographer to take pics of our family while my brother and sister were both in town. Adam lives in Knoxville, TN, and Emma was in Virginia Beach, VA up until this weekend, when she returned to where her heart was and moved even farther away from us to New Bern, NC. It had been over 2 years since both my siblings had been in Michigan at the same time. Emma makes it home only once a year, and it was killing my mom that it's was never at the same time as Adam. So when she realized she was going to have all 3 of her children and their families in the same state AT THE SAME TIME, she hired a photographer to capture this amazing event. :D
So...I was looking through the pics yesterday, and I thought, "What fun is a blog if you don't upload a million photos of your family?!!"
Enjoy!!! They make my heart happy. :)
So...I was looking through the pics yesterday, and I thought, "What fun is a blog if you don't upload a million photos of your family?!!"
Enjoy!!! They make my heart happy. :)
Just a little something. :)
I have to say that I am feeling incredibly blessed. My kids are such a joy, and we have been having a really good summer. God is providing for our needs, and He daily sends little blessings our way. We're happy, joyful, and at peace. I may have been dwelling on my "unrest" the other day, but for the past few days I have been incredibly aware of how sweet my life is.
God is so good. All the time.
God is so good. All the time.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
A "well-rested unrest"
I feel weird today. Have you ever had days when you just felt weird? I think most of it is boredom, but I'm not really sure.
The kids and I have been enjoying a lazy summer for the past couple of weeks. I've become very protective of my "restful/productive" days (when the kids are with thier dad). I get my cleaning and errands done and then I relax, without guilt. My life has the potential to be very stresful and overwhelming. I learned, the hard way, to not make it any more difficult than it's already going to be.
So...the past few nights I've had 10 hours of rest. Granted, several hours each night were spent in prayer and thinking about my life, but I was still resting. This morning, for the first time since I became a mother almost 10 years ago, I woke up feeling completely rested. It was wonderful. And the only thing on my agenda for today is to put away some laundry, possibly go to Target, and feed my family.
Not much to do.
Which leaves me feeling weird. And thoughtful. Contemplative. A little unsure.
Sometimes overthinking can be a bad thing. :-/
My brain is one of those over-thinking, figure it all out types. Everything has a box and I have to figure out which box things fit into so I can understand them. But I can't figure out which box I fit into.
When I go to bed at night, I feel like a tired housewife. But I'm not a wife. So can I call myself a homemaker?? I'm home all day, taking care of children and caring for my home and family. But "homemaker" and "single mom" don't really fit in the same category. So what am I? And then that leads me to my next overthought topic...do I want to get married again someday? Or just raise my kiddos and call it a well-served life? If I do want to eventually date and get remarried, what kind of guy would want a tired homemaker??
This all confuses me and even overwhelms me sometimes. I love my life and I hate parts of it. That's the truth. And yes, when I'm honest with myself, I want to be married again someday, even if the idea of it all makes me uneasy. I'm busy. I have 4 kids, that I homeschool. I'm tired and I don't exactly get out much. And I don't want to. I like being home with my babies. They're such a joy to me.
These are personal thoughts I have, that I'm choosing to share. Because most days, when I think about my life, I feel a weird mix of peace and sadness. I love my life, and I feel joy every night that I climb into bed, even through my exhaustion. But sometimes I feel sadness, because my day-to-day is not what I want forever. I feel like pieces are missing, even if I couldn't tell you what they are. And I feel sad over it. Unrest. And every day, my unrest grows just a little bit more.
Today, in my rested, contemplative mood, I thought and prayed over all of these things. I have read more of my bible this week, seeking the Lord and His voice, than I have in the last 6 months. And what I feel Him whispering to me, through my unrest and frustration and stress and joy and peace, is this,
"This too shall pass."
Life is full of stages. Even if we're not ready, we're constantly entering new ones. This is only a stage. It doesn't mean that the rest of my life will be exactly as today. Or tomorrow. But right now, this is my life. And I need to feel joy and peace and completeness in it. There are parts of it that I wish I could change, but for now, it is what it is. If I spend this stage constantly longing for more/different, I will never feel satisfied with the next stage. Or the one after that. I'm learning contentment in all circumstances. Even in stages that leave me feeling bored and ready for change.
But you know what? "Boredom" is so much better than some other stages I've lived through. And I really am very, very happy each and every day. I can't count the number of times I whisper "thank you," because of the blessings in my life. I have amazing, beautiful kids (4 of them!!!), a wonderful family and just as wonderful friends. I love my church. I love homeschooling. I love babysitting. I love my home and taking care of it. I'm happy.
I have a feeling that my "unrest" is because I'm about to, and ready to, enter a new stage. This is, after all, my "buffer year." Which means that just around the corner, everything will be shaken up a little bit. I have no idea what the changes will be, but I have complete confidence that the Lord is curently preparing it all. It's in His hands. And I love that I don't have to worry about it. I just have to take one day at a time, living in obedience, and I'll end up where He wants me to go. :)
God is so very, very good. No matter what happens in life, He'll lead you through it.
A year ago, two years ago, I never would have believed that right now I could be feeling so much peace and contentment, that at times I feel a little bored. :) I thought my life was forever going to be hard and scary. But I threw my hands in the air and let Him have complete control, and I am so grateful I did. I would probably be forever stuck in "hard and scary" if I hadn't.
Instead, I'm surrounded by His Spirit, which contnually giudes me and comforts me. And right now, He is giving me quietness and rest.
I'm going to embrace it and be grateful. And be ready for the next step, whatever and whenever it may be. :)
The kids and I have been enjoying a lazy summer for the past couple of weeks. I've become very protective of my "restful/productive" days (when the kids are with thier dad). I get my cleaning and errands done and then I relax, without guilt. My life has the potential to be very stresful and overwhelming. I learned, the hard way, to not make it any more difficult than it's already going to be.
So...the past few nights I've had 10 hours of rest. Granted, several hours each night were spent in prayer and thinking about my life, but I was still resting. This morning, for the first time since I became a mother almost 10 years ago, I woke up feeling completely rested. It was wonderful. And the only thing on my agenda for today is to put away some laundry, possibly go to Target, and feed my family.
Not much to do.
Which leaves me feeling weird. And thoughtful. Contemplative. A little unsure.
Sometimes overthinking can be a bad thing. :-/
My brain is one of those over-thinking, figure it all out types. Everything has a box and I have to figure out which box things fit into so I can understand them. But I can't figure out which box I fit into.
When I go to bed at night, I feel like a tired housewife. But I'm not a wife. So can I call myself a homemaker?? I'm home all day, taking care of children and caring for my home and family. But "homemaker" and "single mom" don't really fit in the same category. So what am I? And then that leads me to my next overthought topic...do I want to get married again someday? Or just raise my kiddos and call it a well-served life? If I do want to eventually date and get remarried, what kind of guy would want a tired homemaker??
This all confuses me and even overwhelms me sometimes. I love my life and I hate parts of it. That's the truth. And yes, when I'm honest with myself, I want to be married again someday, even if the idea of it all makes me uneasy. I'm busy. I have 4 kids, that I homeschool. I'm tired and I don't exactly get out much. And I don't want to. I like being home with my babies. They're such a joy to me.
These are personal thoughts I have, that I'm choosing to share. Because most days, when I think about my life, I feel a weird mix of peace and sadness. I love my life, and I feel joy every night that I climb into bed, even through my exhaustion. But sometimes I feel sadness, because my day-to-day is not what I want forever. I feel like pieces are missing, even if I couldn't tell you what they are. And I feel sad over it. Unrest. And every day, my unrest grows just a little bit more.
Today, in my rested, contemplative mood, I thought and prayed over all of these things. I have read more of my bible this week, seeking the Lord and His voice, than I have in the last 6 months. And what I feel Him whispering to me, through my unrest and frustration and stress and joy and peace, is this,
"This too shall pass."
Life is full of stages. Even if we're not ready, we're constantly entering new ones. This is only a stage. It doesn't mean that the rest of my life will be exactly as today. Or tomorrow. But right now, this is my life. And I need to feel joy and peace and completeness in it. There are parts of it that I wish I could change, but for now, it is what it is. If I spend this stage constantly longing for more/different, I will never feel satisfied with the next stage. Or the one after that. I'm learning contentment in all circumstances. Even in stages that leave me feeling bored and ready for change.
But you know what? "Boredom" is so much better than some other stages I've lived through. And I really am very, very happy each and every day. I can't count the number of times I whisper "thank you," because of the blessings in my life. I have amazing, beautiful kids (4 of them!!!), a wonderful family and just as wonderful friends. I love my church. I love homeschooling. I love babysitting. I love my home and taking care of it. I'm happy.
I have a feeling that my "unrest" is because I'm about to, and ready to, enter a new stage. This is, after all, my "buffer year." Which means that just around the corner, everything will be shaken up a little bit. I have no idea what the changes will be, but I have complete confidence that the Lord is curently preparing it all. It's in His hands. And I love that I don't have to worry about it. I just have to take one day at a time, living in obedience, and I'll end up where He wants me to go. :)
God is so very, very good. No matter what happens in life, He'll lead you through it.
A year ago, two years ago, I never would have believed that right now I could be feeling so much peace and contentment, that at times I feel a little bored. :) I thought my life was forever going to be hard and scary. But I threw my hands in the air and let Him have complete control, and I am so grateful I did. I would probably be forever stuck in "hard and scary" if I hadn't.
Instead, I'm surrounded by His Spirit, which contnually giudes me and comforts me. And right now, He is giving me quietness and rest.
I'm going to embrace it and be grateful. And be ready for the next step, whatever and whenever it may be. :)
Sunday, July 24, 2011
A (deeper than I intended) update on my life :)
Well...
:::deep sigh:::
Where do I even start?? I keep saying my life is changing and I don't like putting things in here that might change later. And...let me admit it and get it over with...I'm just a regular girl who gets scared and wants to run from God's plans, or from life, when things seem to get too darn big and scary. And if I blog about it, I'm afraid you'll see my faults and failures. ;-)
I'm tired.
I'm tired of being tired.
I don't want to play this game anymore.
Why have I not yet learned to never utter the words to God "I'm bored"??????? When will I learn that lesson? And why does my boredom have to be replaced with strife and struggles and exercising that Big Faith I claim to have?
I wrote in this post about my church's upcoming mission trip to El Salvador and how I prayed and prayed and laid out a fleece about going and God responded with, "Yes. You're going. And I will provide."
It didn't make any sense to me why I would go on that trip. It doesn't make any sense now.
I have been on hiatus from facebook for a few weeks now (in all honesty, I don't miss it AT ALL). So unless you're my mom, my sister, Bethany, or Aimee, you probably have no idea what's going on in my life.
I don't have any idea either. ;-)
I feel a call to go on the November 2011 El Salvador trip with my church. I don't know why, but I know it also has to be that specific trip. I thought, before today, that it was just my own desires that were leading me to go. And that when things fell apart on Friday, it would be okay to just wait and go on a later trip. And then I spent Saturday in a state of discord or discouragement or something. I don't know what. I didn't feel the Spirit of God sitting next to me and surrounding me (not that He left me) and I didn't feel peace. Mostly, I didn't feel anything. And then in church this morning, as the worship and service progressed, I found myself crying crocodile tears over this trip. I'm supposed to go.
For the sake of your understanding, let me explain further. :) I cannot afford to go on this trip. The total cost is $1900. By the grace and provision of the Lord, I am currently up to date on payments towards the trip. I have paid $800 so far. On August 7, a payment of $400 is due. I currently have half of it. On September 4, I owe another $400. On October 5. my final payment of $300 is due. My fleece, which I mentioned in my previous post, was for a child to babysit. I cannot pay for a mission trip out of my budget. I live with my parents, and keep my expenses minimal, to make ends meet. I have just enough, if I'm careful, to take care of my kids. And I am totally okay with that. I actually enjoy living a life that allows God to be glorified through prayer and faith in meeting our needs, but that's a whole new post. ;-)
So...the idea of going on a $2000 mission trip, for me, is CRAZY. I cannot afford it on my own. And sitting here, typing these words, is bringing back the tears and emotions all over again.
I live my life every day for our God. I love Him, I love serving Him, I trust Him completely in every way. I spend most of my day in random prayer, just talking to Him. I know when we are close, and I know the moment I am out of line (whether it's out of disobedience or stepping out of His will). I can feel the distance between Him and I in an overwhelming way. I don't like losing that peace and the feel of His Presence. But when we are close, when I am in almost constant prayer, He tells me things. He guides me. He shows me the path He wants me to take, and sometimes He's even gracious enough to show me visions of the future. They're like little snapshots, and they don't always make sense until later. But He has made it very, very clear to me that He knows the level to which I have surrendered my life and the lives of my children and He has a specific plan for us. If I remain in obedience, trusting Him in every way, He will lead us down that path. And even though I cannot, in my humanness, see any reason why He would ask a single mother to go on a trip like this, I know He is asking me. And not only is He asking me, but the part that brings my tears to the surface is that i feel so sure that this trip is a very key part of the path He is leading me down.
He told me last December, that 2011 was to be my buffer year. It's the year that I will transition from one phase of my life into a new one. All the things that He told me would happen so far this year have happened, so I know I heard Him correctly. I've seen more of the future and I want that life. I want to serve Him and live for Him and bring Him glory and do His work. I feel such joy and peace over it!!!
My fleece that I had laid out before, a child for me to babysit and the money would go directly to the trip, was answered. I started babysitting an adorable little girl from our church. But Friday, I found out that at least until September, she will be at home with her sisters. When her sisters return to school in the Fall, I hope I will get her back.
I panicked on Friday. How am I going to pay for my trip? The little bit of extra money I have is being saved to purchase a few needed homeschooling materials for this year. I simply cannot pay for this trip if I don't babysit. That's why I asked for that specific prayer. What do I do now?? I felt so very defeated and discouraged.
But today, I know that He wants me to go. I do not know why. I will never understand God and His ways, and I'm not even going to try. :) I am going to believe that He will provide the money. I'm a number cruncher, and after crunching numbers in my head, I think I can do it. It's not going to be easy, but I believe the blessings will be great. I'm asking for donations, and I'm confident the Lord will speak to hearts about helping to sponsor my trip. I know the Lord will bless each and every person who chooses to give, who helps me on my journey. Maybe this was one way God planned to provide all along, but I was trying to figure it all out myself?? I'll probably never know.
I said it before, but I will say it one more time...I do not know why God is calling me to El Salvador in November. But I know He watches over me and my kids and He is taking us somewhere intentional. Somehow, this trip fits into all of it. Maybe one day I will see the pieces of the puzzle and how they fit together. But even if I don't, I trust Him. :) And I've learned that His ways are so much better than anything we could ever come up with on our own.
I will continue to blog about the journey we are on, and about the mission trip. God is at work in every life that surrenders to Him, and I'm inviting you to watch mine if you want :) I pray He is speaking in each of your lives, and that you have surrendered control to Him. The blessings are so great and so worth it. I'm also reactivating my facebook account. I know that I will no longer allow it to waste my time, and I miss having it as a tool for connecting with people in my life. It's also a way to keep those who are interested up to date on the events in our lives. :)
If God is asking your heart to give a gift towards my trip, I would first like to say "thank you more than you know." I pray He pours blessings on those who help, and that you understand my deep gratitude. You can send donations to:
Warren Woods Church of the Nazarene
14300 13 mile road
Warren, MI 48088
Please enclose a note that you are donating on behalf of Liz Wehrman for the El Salvador mission trip. If you have any questions, you can email me at LizWehrman@aol.com.
I'm stepping out in faith right now and in blogging about all of this, I'm allowing everyone to see God work. We serve an awesome, mighty God, who answers prayer and always provides. He also provides direction and helps us through every struggle. I trust Him and I'm believing in Him. And through my blog, which I will regularly update, I'm providing the opportunity for those interested to watch God work through a simple little single mother and her life. I hope it blesses you in some way. :)
:::deep sigh:::
Where do I even start?? I keep saying my life is changing and I don't like putting things in here that might change later. And...let me admit it and get it over with...I'm just a regular girl who gets scared and wants to run from God's plans, or from life, when things seem to get too darn big and scary. And if I blog about it, I'm afraid you'll see my faults and failures. ;-)
I'm tired.
I'm tired of being tired.
I don't want to play this game anymore.
Why have I not yet learned to never utter the words to God "I'm bored"??????? When will I learn that lesson? And why does my boredom have to be replaced with strife and struggles and exercising that Big Faith I claim to have?
I wrote in this post about my church's upcoming mission trip to El Salvador and how I prayed and prayed and laid out a fleece about going and God responded with, "Yes. You're going. And I will provide."
It didn't make any sense to me why I would go on that trip. It doesn't make any sense now.
I have been on hiatus from facebook for a few weeks now (in all honesty, I don't miss it AT ALL). So unless you're my mom, my sister, Bethany, or Aimee, you probably have no idea what's going on in my life.
I don't have any idea either. ;-)
I feel a call to go on the November 2011 El Salvador trip with my church. I don't know why, but I know it also has to be that specific trip. I thought, before today, that it was just my own desires that were leading me to go. And that when things fell apart on Friday, it would be okay to just wait and go on a later trip. And then I spent Saturday in a state of discord or discouragement or something. I don't know what. I didn't feel the Spirit of God sitting next to me and surrounding me (not that He left me) and I didn't feel peace. Mostly, I didn't feel anything. And then in church this morning, as the worship and service progressed, I found myself crying crocodile tears over this trip. I'm supposed to go.
For the sake of your understanding, let me explain further. :) I cannot afford to go on this trip. The total cost is $1900. By the grace and provision of the Lord, I am currently up to date on payments towards the trip. I have paid $800 so far. On August 7, a payment of $400 is due. I currently have half of it. On September 4, I owe another $400. On October 5. my final payment of $300 is due. My fleece, which I mentioned in my previous post, was for a child to babysit. I cannot pay for a mission trip out of my budget. I live with my parents, and keep my expenses minimal, to make ends meet. I have just enough, if I'm careful, to take care of my kids. And I am totally okay with that. I actually enjoy living a life that allows God to be glorified through prayer and faith in meeting our needs, but that's a whole new post. ;-)
So...the idea of going on a $2000 mission trip, for me, is CRAZY. I cannot afford it on my own. And sitting here, typing these words, is bringing back the tears and emotions all over again.
I live my life every day for our God. I love Him, I love serving Him, I trust Him completely in every way. I spend most of my day in random prayer, just talking to Him. I know when we are close, and I know the moment I am out of line (whether it's out of disobedience or stepping out of His will). I can feel the distance between Him and I in an overwhelming way. I don't like losing that peace and the feel of His Presence. But when we are close, when I am in almost constant prayer, He tells me things. He guides me. He shows me the path He wants me to take, and sometimes He's even gracious enough to show me visions of the future. They're like little snapshots, and they don't always make sense until later. But He has made it very, very clear to me that He knows the level to which I have surrendered my life and the lives of my children and He has a specific plan for us. If I remain in obedience, trusting Him in every way, He will lead us down that path. And even though I cannot, in my humanness, see any reason why He would ask a single mother to go on a trip like this, I know He is asking me. And not only is He asking me, but the part that brings my tears to the surface is that i feel so sure that this trip is a very key part of the path He is leading me down.
He told me last December, that 2011 was to be my buffer year. It's the year that I will transition from one phase of my life into a new one. All the things that He told me would happen so far this year have happened, so I know I heard Him correctly. I've seen more of the future and I want that life. I want to serve Him and live for Him and bring Him glory and do His work. I feel such joy and peace over it!!!
My fleece that I had laid out before, a child for me to babysit and the money would go directly to the trip, was answered. I started babysitting an adorable little girl from our church. But Friday, I found out that at least until September, she will be at home with her sisters. When her sisters return to school in the Fall, I hope I will get her back.
I panicked on Friday. How am I going to pay for my trip? The little bit of extra money I have is being saved to purchase a few needed homeschooling materials for this year. I simply cannot pay for this trip if I don't babysit. That's why I asked for that specific prayer. What do I do now?? I felt so very defeated and discouraged.
But today, I know that He wants me to go. I do not know why. I will never understand God and His ways, and I'm not even going to try. :) I am going to believe that He will provide the money. I'm a number cruncher, and after crunching numbers in my head, I think I can do it. It's not going to be easy, but I believe the blessings will be great. I'm asking for donations, and I'm confident the Lord will speak to hearts about helping to sponsor my trip. I know the Lord will bless each and every person who chooses to give, who helps me on my journey. Maybe this was one way God planned to provide all along, but I was trying to figure it all out myself?? I'll probably never know.
I said it before, but I will say it one more time...I do not know why God is calling me to El Salvador in November. But I know He watches over me and my kids and He is taking us somewhere intentional. Somehow, this trip fits into all of it. Maybe one day I will see the pieces of the puzzle and how they fit together. But even if I don't, I trust Him. :) And I've learned that His ways are so much better than anything we could ever come up with on our own.
I will continue to blog about the journey we are on, and about the mission trip. God is at work in every life that surrenders to Him, and I'm inviting you to watch mine if you want :) I pray He is speaking in each of your lives, and that you have surrendered control to Him. The blessings are so great and so worth it. I'm also reactivating my facebook account. I know that I will no longer allow it to waste my time, and I miss having it as a tool for connecting with people in my life. It's also a way to keep those who are interested up to date on the events in our lives. :)
If God is asking your heart to give a gift towards my trip, I would first like to say "thank you more than you know." I pray He pours blessings on those who help, and that you understand my deep gratitude. You can send donations to:
Warren Woods Church of the Nazarene
14300 13 mile road
Warren, MI 48088
Please enclose a note that you are donating on behalf of Liz Wehrman for the El Salvador mission trip. If you have any questions, you can email me at LizWehrman@aol.com.
I'm stepping out in faith right now and in blogging about all of this, I'm allowing everyone to see God work. We serve an awesome, mighty God, who answers prayer and always provides. He also provides direction and helps us through every struggle. I trust Him and I'm believing in Him. And through my blog, which I will regularly update, I'm providing the opportunity for those interested to watch God work through a simple little single mother and her life. I hope it blesses you in some way. :)
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Today...
I hit what I thought was "snooze" on my alarm, and woke up an hour later than I should have for church.
On the way to church (actually on time!), I remembered that I forgot my next payment for the El Salvador trip that was due today. I had to turn around and go all the way back to my house.
So...
I was late for church. :(
I was late for church and had to step over several women to get to my family, who decided to sit in the middle of the row, instead of on the end, for the first time ever.
:::sigh:::
Yes, I was the crazy, "Excuse me...pardon me...excuse me...I'm so sorry!!" lady today.
While taking communion, I choked. Yep...I choked on the one little swallow of cranberry juice from the tiny plastic cup. Classy.
After service, while talking with a friend, I spilled the last little bit of what I thought was my empty (and closed) cup of coffee down the front of my mom's dress. The dress I borrowed this morning, and promised "I won't get dirty. I'll come right home after church and hang it right back in your closet on this exact little hanger," as I slowly pulled it out of her closet...
On the way out of church, while carrying several boxes, I tripped on a rug. That Bethany had just said not to trip on. But she tripped on it, too.
It's really nice to have a best friend who's exactly like you. I love you, Bethany!! :)
I think I'm safe now. I'm finally home, relaxing on my couch. In a minute, I'll tackle some laundry. Not much can happen when you're folding laundry.
At least, I hope... :)
Have a blessed day!!
On the way to church (actually on time!), I remembered that I forgot my next payment for the El Salvador trip that was due today. I had to turn around and go all the way back to my house.
So...
I was late for church. :(
I was late for church and had to step over several women to get to my family, who decided to sit in the middle of the row, instead of on the end, for the first time ever.
:::sigh:::
Yes, I was the crazy, "Excuse me...pardon me...excuse me...I'm so sorry!!" lady today.
While taking communion, I choked. Yep...I choked on the one little swallow of cranberry juice from the tiny plastic cup. Classy.
After service, while talking with a friend, I spilled the last little bit of what I thought was my empty (and closed) cup of coffee down the front of my mom's dress. The dress I borrowed this morning, and promised "I won't get dirty. I'll come right home after church and hang it right back in your closet on this exact little hanger," as I slowly pulled it out of her closet...
On the way out of church, while carrying several boxes, I tripped on a rug. That Bethany had just said not to trip on. But she tripped on it, too.
It's really nice to have a best friend who's exactly like you. I love you, Bethany!! :)
I think I'm safe now. I'm finally home, relaxing on my couch. In a minute, I'll tackle some laundry. Not much can happen when you're folding laundry.
At least, I hope... :)
Have a blessed day!!
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