I called my friend Julie last night. She's the friend from church who loans us our Sonlight materials, and I had to share my really cool Monday morning surprise with her. If you missed it on facebook, I'll share it here...
In this post from Sunday night, I talked about our box from Sonlight arriving and how excited the kids and I are to start school. In my moment of amazement at how the Lord works and extreme gratitude at His provision and everything that He has done in mine and the kids lives, I sent an email off to Luke Holzmann (and everyone at Sonlight), thanking them for their incredible curriculum and their part in how far we have come. I figured Sonlight, like every other incredible company, gets bombarded with emails every day. The best I was hoping for was simply that my email would get read, by someone who cared about what I wrote. On Monday morning, I received an email back informing me that my email had been posted as one of the blog posts on the Sonlight blog for Monday!! I couldn't believe how cool that was. :) You can read my email/post on the Sonlight blog here.
The other reason I called Julie was that she had a "tip," from one mother to another, that she wanted to share with me. It was so good, I had to share it here. :)
I mentioned to Julie, in a brief conversation we had at church on Sunday, that I have really been working with my kids to teach them Love and Respect. I want them to know that the way you treat others should always be with love and respect (we're focusing mostly on our siblings right now ;-), and I've been working with them to show them what that really means. When they act out in anger and frustration, we discuss examples of loving and respectful responses instead of hitting or yelling or taking an object from their sibling. It's been about a month of focusing on this lesson and they're starting to "get it." More than once I've had one of them run to me and tell me how they acted or reacted with one of the behaviors we discussed, pride showing on their beautiful little face. :)
Julie's tip, that she used with her own children when they were little, was to discuss 5 specific things every morning before they start their day. By discussing them every morning, it put those 5 things fresh in their minds to refer to throughout the day. She said they were also a good thing to go over before leaving the house, to remind them to behave with the same goals while out in public.
This list varies slightly from what Julie told me last night, but the beauty of it is that you can adjust it to fit your own family.
The 5 Things:
1. We love God and respect God. We obey Him and His Word, and we keep Him above all else in our lives. We remember to start our day with prayer and bible time, and we pray (talk) to Him throughout the day.
2. We love and respect our parents.
3. We love and respect our siblings.
4. We love and respect our family and our friends.
5. We remember our manners all day.
You can expand on each item, especially in the beginning. I expanded on the first one in my list. You could discuss a few "manners" for them to remember, such as not interrupting adults, keeping "inside voices," etc. Explain, more than once, what "love" and "respect" mean. Give examples. After time, they will remember what you've discussed. But in the beginning, it's good to remind them.
I went over this list for the first time with my kids this morning. We counted each item on our fingers, as a visual reference to help them remember over time. Julie said that in moments when they needed a "reminder" she would put her hand up, fingers open, and ask, "who remembers the 5 things?" Now that her children are older (aged 7+), she doesn't need to pull out the list of 5 things as much. They are beyond familiar with it, and it has made a huge impact on how they treat each other. She also said to remind them that their siblings are their best friends. Some friends will come and go, but your siblings are your best friends. Remember that in how you treat them.
After we went over the 5 things this morning, Andrew asked, "Can someone get me a piece of paper please?" Amerie jumped up and said, "I will!" When she handed it to him, he told her "thank you."
And then their faces lit up. "Mommy!!! I remembered the 5 things!! I remembered my manners and love and respect!"
I'm sure it's not that easy, but it was so rewarding to see them "get it" right from the start. And f we continue to discuss the 5 things every morning, they will start remembering throughout the day, as Julie's kids do. The simple discussion of love and respect has already made an impact on their behavior. I'm really excited about the 5 things.
And really, really grateful the Lord blessed my life with people like Julie. :)
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
A lesson in patience
I lost my patience with my little girl this morning.
I was cuddling in my bed with Amerie and Lexi, watching the Disney Channel. Amerie decided to jump out of my bed to grab something, and in so doing, she knocked the cable adapter plug out of the wall, filling my room with the very loud sound of "tv snow."
It was an accident. She's 4. She saw the object she was after and nothing else, in the moment she hopped off my bed. I should have just plugged the cord back in and we could have gone back to Jake and the Neverland Pirates.
But instead, I snapped at her to be more careful. And then I plugged the cord back in like it was a huge effort for me to do.
I'm not proud of myself. I don't even want to admit it here. But even though I pray daily that I can have an abundance of patience with my kids, especially during times of "childish immaturity," sometimes I'm really glad there's no one in the room to see me drop the ball.
After my lovely display, she started to cry.
"Mommy!!" she said, "I'm just a kid!! I don't know what I'm doing."
Wisdom from a 4 year old. And words that convicted me quicker than anything else could have. I've been losing my patience with her a lot lately. She's my "accident prone" child. And (one of) my "I hear you, but I'm choosing to ignore you" children. As much as I'd like to be SuperMom, sometimes I lose my cool. Even when she's not acting in defiance, just childish immaturity.
As soon as she said those words, my heart broke a little. I immediately scooped her up onto my lap and told her I was sorry for losing my patience. I told her I knew that she didn't do it on purpose, and I asked her to forgive me. She gave forgiveness freely, along with a hug and a kiss. And then she jumped off my lap like the incident never happened.
I pray every day for the Lord to help me be the best mother I can be for my children. I pray for patience in all circumstances, wisdom and insight into every situation. He has provided it more than I had ever hoped for. I still have moments like this morning, when I behave differently than who I want to be. But thankfully, I see it for what it is...just a momentary screw up on the road to Christ-likeness. And an opportunity for me to learn a new lesson.
And I'm even more thankful that the Lord is a lot more patient with me than I sometimes am with my own children. He's an awesome example for me to follow. :)
.
I was cuddling in my bed with Amerie and Lexi, watching the Disney Channel. Amerie decided to jump out of my bed to grab something, and in so doing, she knocked the cable adapter plug out of the wall, filling my room with the very loud sound of "tv snow."
It was an accident. She's 4. She saw the object she was after and nothing else, in the moment she hopped off my bed. I should have just plugged the cord back in and we could have gone back to Jake and the Neverland Pirates.
But instead, I snapped at her to be more careful. And then I plugged the cord back in like it was a huge effort for me to do.
I'm not proud of myself. I don't even want to admit it here. But even though I pray daily that I can have an abundance of patience with my kids, especially during times of "childish immaturity," sometimes I'm really glad there's no one in the room to see me drop the ball.
After my lovely display, she started to cry.
"Mommy!!" she said, "I'm just a kid!! I don't know what I'm doing."
Wisdom from a 4 year old. And words that convicted me quicker than anything else could have. I've been losing my patience with her a lot lately. She's my "accident prone" child. And (one of) my "I hear you, but I'm choosing to ignore you" children. As much as I'd like to be SuperMom, sometimes I lose my cool. Even when she's not acting in defiance, just childish immaturity.
As soon as she said those words, my heart broke a little. I immediately scooped her up onto my lap and told her I was sorry for losing my patience. I told her I knew that she didn't do it on purpose, and I asked her to forgive me. She gave forgiveness freely, along with a hug and a kiss. And then she jumped off my lap like the incident never happened.
I pray every day for the Lord to help me be the best mother I can be for my children. I pray for patience in all circumstances, wisdom and insight into every situation. He has provided it more than I had ever hoped for. I still have moments like this morning, when I behave differently than who I want to be. But thankfully, I see it for what it is...just a momentary screw up on the road to Christ-likeness. And an opportunity for me to learn a new lesson.
And I'm even more thankful that the Lord is a lot more patient with me than I sometimes am with my own children. He's an awesome example for me to follow. :)
.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Box Day
I should be in bed. :) My babies are asleep, and I'm exhausted after a long week. But I've been wanting and wanting to get this post out and it's so hard to do when all of my kiddos are awake and "needy." ;-)
Our school supplies arrived this weekend. :) God is ever faithful and true, and He has been so good to the kids and I. Last year was so hard, but He assured me that this year, and the years to come, would be so much better because I clung to Him through it all.
One of the blessings, in addition to being able to use free Sonlight books, was the ability to put some money aside and order everything that I needed to have a "complete" curriculum. Last year was great for what we could handle at the time, but this year I really want to dig deep and challenge the kids and their ability to learn. I ordered workbooks in areas they struggle, consumable items (those don't get loaned to me), and a few missing items from my shelves. I even ordered a few books for Lexi that are part of Sonlight's nursery school program.
Today, after hearing me talk and talk about how much better this year will be and how excited I am about our curriculum for this year, Aimee finally said, "Mom...you've got me wanting to start school. I'm excited now. I want to start now." She has to wait one more week. :) I want to have my To-Do list empty before we start, so I have no tasks hanging over my head when we're busy learning. I've already pulled out and washed all of our winter clothes, and this week I will find room for them in our closets.
But...
Andrew came across one of Aimee's schoolbooks for this year. It's a chapter book for 4th grade and up, about the Wright brothers and how they came to invent the airplane. It has a bi-plane on the cover. If you know Andrew, you know he loves bi-planes. And jets. And bombers. :) So he asked me to read it to him. I honestly thought he would be bored after the first few pages. It's a chapter book, with no pictures. Just words. And he's 6. And a boy. And easily distracted.
I ended up stopping after two chapters so he would go to sleep. He begged me, "One more page! Just one! One more page!!" He learned about wind resistance and the importance of aerodynamics. And that if you draw your design out on paper, and work from that, your model will be significantly better. He's already planning on drawing the "perfect bomber" tomorrow on paper, and we'll work with measurements and build it from scrap wood.
I loved seeing his brain work as he listened to the story. He asks such well-thought questions. He truly amazes me. I thought he would be bored, but instead sparks were lit. I'm so excited to dive into our books this year and watch my kids learn. Aimee is studying American History this year, and Andrew and Amerie are studying different world cultures. I love our curriculum. :) I love Sonlight. I love my kids.
And above all, I love the Lord. I know I let Him down every day, even though I try my best. But He loves me anyway. And He has been so faithful and so good to us. I'm amazed at how perfect life can feel in the middle of so many "imperfections."
We serve an awesome God.
One of the blessings, in addition to being able to use free Sonlight books, was the ability to put some money aside and order everything that I needed to have a "complete" curriculum. Last year was great for what we could handle at the time, but this year I really want to dig deep and challenge the kids and their ability to learn. I ordered workbooks in areas they struggle, consumable items (those don't get loaned to me), and a few missing items from my shelves. I even ordered a few books for Lexi that are part of Sonlight's nursery school program.
Today, after hearing me talk and talk about how much better this year will be and how excited I am about our curriculum for this year, Aimee finally said, "Mom...you've got me wanting to start school. I'm excited now. I want to start now." She has to wait one more week. :) I want to have my To-Do list empty before we start, so I have no tasks hanging over my head when we're busy learning. I've already pulled out and washed all of our winter clothes, and this week I will find room for them in our closets.
But...
Andrew came across one of Aimee's schoolbooks for this year. It's a chapter book for 4th grade and up, about the Wright brothers and how they came to invent the airplane. It has a bi-plane on the cover. If you know Andrew, you know he loves bi-planes. And jets. And bombers. :) So he asked me to read it to him. I honestly thought he would be bored after the first few pages. It's a chapter book, with no pictures. Just words. And he's 6. And a boy. And easily distracted.
I ended up stopping after two chapters so he would go to sleep. He begged me, "One more page! Just one! One more page!!" He learned about wind resistance and the importance of aerodynamics. And that if you draw your design out on paper, and work from that, your model will be significantly better. He's already planning on drawing the "perfect bomber" tomorrow on paper, and we'll work with measurements and build it from scrap wood.
I loved seeing his brain work as he listened to the story. He asks such well-thought questions. He truly amazes me. I thought he would be bored, but instead sparks were lit. I'm so excited to dive into our books this year and watch my kids learn. Aimee is studying American History this year, and Andrew and Amerie are studying different world cultures. I love our curriculum. :) I love Sonlight. I love my kids.
And above all, I love the Lord. I know I let Him down every day, even though I try my best. But He loves me anyway. And He has been so faithful and so good to us. I'm amazed at how perfect life can feel in the middle of so many "imperfections."
We serve an awesome God.
Friday, August 12, 2011
A story...
I tucked Amerie into bed, being careful to lay the blankets "just right."
I leaned in, kissed her forehead, and then her cheeks. As I sat back, I smiled.
"I love you. baby girl."
"I love you, too, mommy," she said with a sweet smile.
I smiled again. "Amerie...you're beautiful."
She tucked her hair behind her ears, rolled over, and replied, "I know I am."
Maybe I've gone overboard in telling my kids how beautiful and awesome I think they are. ;-)
I leaned in, kissed her forehead, and then her cheeks. As I sat back, I smiled.
"I love you. baby girl."
"I love you, too, mommy," she said with a sweet smile.
I smiled again. "Amerie...you're beautiful."
She tucked her hair behind her ears, rolled over, and replied, "I know I am."
Maybe I've gone overboard in telling my kids how beautiful and awesome I think they are. ;-)
Thursday, August 4, 2011
An impromptu drive
I took my babies for a drive last night. My car battery had died in my van Tuesday morning (after I packed up all 4 kids to head to the beach. Be glad you weren't in my van when I had to tell them we weren't going!!) My mama called a towtruck last night to gimme a jump, and I was told to drive it around for a bit to recharge the battery.
I suppose I could have driven for 20 minutes like I was told and headed back home. But I loooove a liesurely drive, and since I'm so careful with my gas (aren't we all?), I rarely ever allow myself to take one. I had a little over a quarter tank of gas and about 2 hours of daylight left. Just this once, I decided to take my kids for a drive "just for fun."
I knew where I would go. I always head to one of two places when I'm "aimlessly" out for a drive. If I need to pray and be alone, I head to Jeffereson and drive along the water. It calms me.
If I'm happy, and just want to enjoy a beautiful drive, I head to Romeo.
My mom and sis and I were recently asked the question, "If you could live anywhere in the entire world, where would you live?" Emma, of course, said "New Bern, NC." Our hearts are all thanking the Lord for blessing her with the move back to New Bern this week.
My mom and I? We both gave the same answer.
"Romeo, MI."
When I was in early elementary school, we lived in Washington Twp., just outside of Romeo. For those familiar with the area, our old house sits right on the corner of 30 mile & Campground.
This is what it looks like now...
I loved that house. And the 2-acre lot, that held a barn, chicken coops, and a milkhouse. I'm a country girl (hence the blog address) and these things make me happy. I was angry for years when we moved away.
So when I allow myself to, I head up there, drive around, and ask the Lord that if it is within His Will for mine and the kids lives, could we someday end up in a house with a big 'ole yard North of 28 Mile? I don't care so much about the house. I just want my kids to be able to run and play and climb trees and pick apples and thoroughly enjoy thier childhood outdoors. :) I loved heading outside and "discovering" when we lived in that house.
I also love these...
Dirt roads. :) To me, they're a sign that I'm where I want to be.
Two things repeatedly ran through my mind last night, as I drove along the gravel covered dirt...Jason Aldean's "Dirt Road Anthem" (of course) and "I want to live up here. Spend my life up here. Raise my kids and grow old up here."
I don't know what it is about that end of the county. Maybe it's because deep down, I'm not a city/suburb girl. I'm a barefoot country girl, and as a child I had a taste of that life. I've wanted to go back ever since.
Emma is back in New Bern. I hope someday I can end up near Romeo. :) But again, at the risk of sounding like all I do is say the same things, I know the Lord has a plan for the kids and I and I want that plan more than anything. His plans are always so much better than ours. :) And when I am spending eternity in Heaven praising Him, it's not going to matter so much where I raised my family. What will matter is that I raised them every day to love and serve Him, and that we gave everything (even our simplest desires) to Him. If He leads us to Romeo, as He led Emma and Greg back to New Bern, I will be more excited than I could even begin to tell you. But even living in Sterling Heights, in my parents home, I've learned to be content and happy and at peace. I don't know where we'll be in the future or what our lives will be like. But He's already working it out for our good, and it's better than anything I could dream up on my own. :)
I suppose I could have driven for 20 minutes like I was told and headed back home. But I loooove a liesurely drive, and since I'm so careful with my gas (aren't we all?), I rarely ever allow myself to take one. I had a little over a quarter tank of gas and about 2 hours of daylight left. Just this once, I decided to take my kids for a drive "just for fun."
I knew where I would go. I always head to one of two places when I'm "aimlessly" out for a drive. If I need to pray and be alone, I head to Jeffereson and drive along the water. It calms me.
If I'm happy, and just want to enjoy a beautiful drive, I head to Romeo.
My mom and sis and I were recently asked the question, "If you could live anywhere in the entire world, where would you live?" Emma, of course, said "New Bern, NC." Our hearts are all thanking the Lord for blessing her with the move back to New Bern this week.
My mom and I? We both gave the same answer.
"Romeo, MI."
When I was in early elementary school, we lived in Washington Twp., just outside of Romeo. For those familiar with the area, our old house sits right on the corner of 30 mile & Campground.
This is what it looks like now...
So when I allow myself to, I head up there, drive around, and ask the Lord that if it is within His Will for mine and the kids lives, could we someday end up in a house with a big 'ole yard North of 28 Mile? I don't care so much about the house. I just want my kids to be able to run and play and climb trees and pick apples and thoroughly enjoy thier childhood outdoors. :) I loved heading outside and "discovering" when we lived in that house.
I also love these...
Two things repeatedly ran through my mind last night, as I drove along the gravel covered dirt...Jason Aldean's "Dirt Road Anthem" (of course) and "I want to live up here. Spend my life up here. Raise my kids and grow old up here."
I don't know what it is about that end of the county. Maybe it's because deep down, I'm not a city/suburb girl. I'm a barefoot country girl, and as a child I had a taste of that life. I've wanted to go back ever since.
Emma is back in New Bern. I hope someday I can end up near Romeo. :) But again, at the risk of sounding like all I do is say the same things, I know the Lord has a plan for the kids and I and I want that plan more than anything. His plans are always so much better than ours. :) And when I am spending eternity in Heaven praising Him, it's not going to matter so much where I raised my family. What will matter is that I raised them every day to love and serve Him, and that we gave everything (even our simplest desires) to Him. If He leads us to Romeo, as He led Emma and Greg back to New Bern, I will be more excited than I could even begin to tell you. But even living in Sterling Heights, in my parents home, I've learned to be content and happy and at peace. I don't know where we'll be in the future or what our lives will be like. But He's already working it out for our good, and it's better than anything I could dream up on my own. :)
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Photo Shoot
About a month ago, my mom hired a photographer to take pics of our family while my brother and sister were both in town. Adam lives in Knoxville, TN, and Emma was in Virginia Beach, VA up until this weekend, when she returned to where her heart was and moved even farther away from us to New Bern, NC. It had been over 2 years since both my siblings had been in Michigan at the same time. Emma makes it home only once a year, and it was killing my mom that it's was never at the same time as Adam. So when she realized she was going to have all 3 of her children and their families in the same state AT THE SAME TIME, she hired a photographer to capture this amazing event. :D
So...I was looking through the pics yesterday, and I thought, "What fun is a blog if you don't upload a million photos of your family?!!"
Enjoy!!! They make my heart happy. :)
So...I was looking through the pics yesterday, and I thought, "What fun is a blog if you don't upload a million photos of your family?!!"
Enjoy!!! They make my heart happy. :)
Just a little something. :)
I have to say that I am feeling incredibly blessed. My kids are such a joy, and we have been having a really good summer. God is providing for our needs, and He daily sends little blessings our way. We're happy, joyful, and at peace. I may have been dwelling on my "unrest" the other day, but for the past few days I have been incredibly aware of how sweet my life is.
God is so good. All the time.
God is so good. All the time.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
A "well-rested unrest"
I feel weird today. Have you ever had days when you just felt weird? I think most of it is boredom, but I'm not really sure.
The kids and I have been enjoying a lazy summer for the past couple of weeks. I've become very protective of my "restful/productive" days (when the kids are with thier dad). I get my cleaning and errands done and then I relax, without guilt. My life has the potential to be very stresful and overwhelming. I learned, the hard way, to not make it any more difficult than it's already going to be.
So...the past few nights I've had 10 hours of rest. Granted, several hours each night were spent in prayer and thinking about my life, but I was still resting. This morning, for the first time since I became a mother almost 10 years ago, I woke up feeling completely rested. It was wonderful. And the only thing on my agenda for today is to put away some laundry, possibly go to Target, and feed my family.
Not much to do.
Which leaves me feeling weird. And thoughtful. Contemplative. A little unsure.
Sometimes overthinking can be a bad thing. :-/
My brain is one of those over-thinking, figure it all out types. Everything has a box and I have to figure out which box things fit into so I can understand them. But I can't figure out which box I fit into.
When I go to bed at night, I feel like a tired housewife. But I'm not a wife. So can I call myself a homemaker?? I'm home all day, taking care of children and caring for my home and family. But "homemaker" and "single mom" don't really fit in the same category. So what am I? And then that leads me to my next overthought topic...do I want to get married again someday? Or just raise my kiddos and call it a well-served life? If I do want to eventually date and get remarried, what kind of guy would want a tired homemaker??
This all confuses me and even overwhelms me sometimes. I love my life and I hate parts of it. That's the truth. And yes, when I'm honest with myself, I want to be married again someday, even if the idea of it all makes me uneasy. I'm busy. I have 4 kids, that I homeschool. I'm tired and I don't exactly get out much. And I don't want to. I like being home with my babies. They're such a joy to me.
These are personal thoughts I have, that I'm choosing to share. Because most days, when I think about my life, I feel a weird mix of peace and sadness. I love my life, and I feel joy every night that I climb into bed, even through my exhaustion. But sometimes I feel sadness, because my day-to-day is not what I want forever. I feel like pieces are missing, even if I couldn't tell you what they are. And I feel sad over it. Unrest. And every day, my unrest grows just a little bit more.
Today, in my rested, contemplative mood, I thought and prayed over all of these things. I have read more of my bible this week, seeking the Lord and His voice, than I have in the last 6 months. And what I feel Him whispering to me, through my unrest and frustration and stress and joy and peace, is this,
"This too shall pass."
Life is full of stages. Even if we're not ready, we're constantly entering new ones. This is only a stage. It doesn't mean that the rest of my life will be exactly as today. Or tomorrow. But right now, this is my life. And I need to feel joy and peace and completeness in it. There are parts of it that I wish I could change, but for now, it is what it is. If I spend this stage constantly longing for more/different, I will never feel satisfied with the next stage. Or the one after that. I'm learning contentment in all circumstances. Even in stages that leave me feeling bored and ready for change.
But you know what? "Boredom" is so much better than some other stages I've lived through. And I really am very, very happy each and every day. I can't count the number of times I whisper "thank you," because of the blessings in my life. I have amazing, beautiful kids (4 of them!!!), a wonderful family and just as wonderful friends. I love my church. I love homeschooling. I love babysitting. I love my home and taking care of it. I'm happy.
I have a feeling that my "unrest" is because I'm about to, and ready to, enter a new stage. This is, after all, my "buffer year." Which means that just around the corner, everything will be shaken up a little bit. I have no idea what the changes will be, but I have complete confidence that the Lord is curently preparing it all. It's in His hands. And I love that I don't have to worry about it. I just have to take one day at a time, living in obedience, and I'll end up where He wants me to go. :)
God is so very, very good. No matter what happens in life, He'll lead you through it.
A year ago, two years ago, I never would have believed that right now I could be feeling so much peace and contentment, that at times I feel a little bored. :) I thought my life was forever going to be hard and scary. But I threw my hands in the air and let Him have complete control, and I am so grateful I did. I would probably be forever stuck in "hard and scary" if I hadn't.
Instead, I'm surrounded by His Spirit, which contnually giudes me and comforts me. And right now, He is giving me quietness and rest.
I'm going to embrace it and be grateful. And be ready for the next step, whatever and whenever it may be. :)
The kids and I have been enjoying a lazy summer for the past couple of weeks. I've become very protective of my "restful/productive" days (when the kids are with thier dad). I get my cleaning and errands done and then I relax, without guilt. My life has the potential to be very stresful and overwhelming. I learned, the hard way, to not make it any more difficult than it's already going to be.
So...the past few nights I've had 10 hours of rest. Granted, several hours each night were spent in prayer and thinking about my life, but I was still resting. This morning, for the first time since I became a mother almost 10 years ago, I woke up feeling completely rested. It was wonderful. And the only thing on my agenda for today is to put away some laundry, possibly go to Target, and feed my family.
Not much to do.
Which leaves me feeling weird. And thoughtful. Contemplative. A little unsure.
Sometimes overthinking can be a bad thing. :-/
My brain is one of those over-thinking, figure it all out types. Everything has a box and I have to figure out which box things fit into so I can understand them. But I can't figure out which box I fit into.
When I go to bed at night, I feel like a tired housewife. But I'm not a wife. So can I call myself a homemaker?? I'm home all day, taking care of children and caring for my home and family. But "homemaker" and "single mom" don't really fit in the same category. So what am I? And then that leads me to my next overthought topic...do I want to get married again someday? Or just raise my kiddos and call it a well-served life? If I do want to eventually date and get remarried, what kind of guy would want a tired homemaker??
This all confuses me and even overwhelms me sometimes. I love my life and I hate parts of it. That's the truth. And yes, when I'm honest with myself, I want to be married again someday, even if the idea of it all makes me uneasy. I'm busy. I have 4 kids, that I homeschool. I'm tired and I don't exactly get out much. And I don't want to. I like being home with my babies. They're such a joy to me.
These are personal thoughts I have, that I'm choosing to share. Because most days, when I think about my life, I feel a weird mix of peace and sadness. I love my life, and I feel joy every night that I climb into bed, even through my exhaustion. But sometimes I feel sadness, because my day-to-day is not what I want forever. I feel like pieces are missing, even if I couldn't tell you what they are. And I feel sad over it. Unrest. And every day, my unrest grows just a little bit more.
Today, in my rested, contemplative mood, I thought and prayed over all of these things. I have read more of my bible this week, seeking the Lord and His voice, than I have in the last 6 months. And what I feel Him whispering to me, through my unrest and frustration and stress and joy and peace, is this,
"This too shall pass."
Life is full of stages. Even if we're not ready, we're constantly entering new ones. This is only a stage. It doesn't mean that the rest of my life will be exactly as today. Or tomorrow. But right now, this is my life. And I need to feel joy and peace and completeness in it. There are parts of it that I wish I could change, but for now, it is what it is. If I spend this stage constantly longing for more/different, I will never feel satisfied with the next stage. Or the one after that. I'm learning contentment in all circumstances. Even in stages that leave me feeling bored and ready for change.
But you know what? "Boredom" is so much better than some other stages I've lived through. And I really am very, very happy each and every day. I can't count the number of times I whisper "thank you," because of the blessings in my life. I have amazing, beautiful kids (4 of them!!!), a wonderful family and just as wonderful friends. I love my church. I love homeschooling. I love babysitting. I love my home and taking care of it. I'm happy.
I have a feeling that my "unrest" is because I'm about to, and ready to, enter a new stage. This is, after all, my "buffer year." Which means that just around the corner, everything will be shaken up a little bit. I have no idea what the changes will be, but I have complete confidence that the Lord is curently preparing it all. It's in His hands. And I love that I don't have to worry about it. I just have to take one day at a time, living in obedience, and I'll end up where He wants me to go. :)
God is so very, very good. No matter what happens in life, He'll lead you through it.
A year ago, two years ago, I never would have believed that right now I could be feeling so much peace and contentment, that at times I feel a little bored. :) I thought my life was forever going to be hard and scary. But I threw my hands in the air and let Him have complete control, and I am so grateful I did. I would probably be forever stuck in "hard and scary" if I hadn't.
Instead, I'm surrounded by His Spirit, which contnually giudes me and comforts me. And right now, He is giving me quietness and rest.
I'm going to embrace it and be grateful. And be ready for the next step, whatever and whenever it may be. :)
Sunday, July 24, 2011
A (deeper than I intended) update on my life :)
Well...
:::deep sigh:::
Where do I even start?? I keep saying my life is changing and I don't like putting things in here that might change later. And...let me admit it and get it over with...I'm just a regular girl who gets scared and wants to run from God's plans, or from life, when things seem to get too darn big and scary. And if I blog about it, I'm afraid you'll see my faults and failures. ;-)
I'm tired.
I'm tired of being tired.
I don't want to play this game anymore.
Why have I not yet learned to never utter the words to God "I'm bored"??????? When will I learn that lesson? And why does my boredom have to be replaced with strife and struggles and exercising that Big Faith I claim to have?
I wrote in this post about my church's upcoming mission trip to El Salvador and how I prayed and prayed and laid out a fleece about going and God responded with, "Yes. You're going. And I will provide."
It didn't make any sense to me why I would go on that trip. It doesn't make any sense now.
I have been on hiatus from facebook for a few weeks now (in all honesty, I don't miss it AT ALL). So unless you're my mom, my sister, Bethany, or Aimee, you probably have no idea what's going on in my life.
I don't have any idea either. ;-)
I feel a call to go on the November 2011 El Salvador trip with my church. I don't know why, but I know it also has to be that specific trip. I thought, before today, that it was just my own desires that were leading me to go. And that when things fell apart on Friday, it would be okay to just wait and go on a later trip. And then I spent Saturday in a state of discord or discouragement or something. I don't know what. I didn't feel the Spirit of God sitting next to me and surrounding me (not that He left me) and I didn't feel peace. Mostly, I didn't feel anything. And then in church this morning, as the worship and service progressed, I found myself crying crocodile tears over this trip. I'm supposed to go.
For the sake of your understanding, let me explain further. :) I cannot afford to go on this trip. The total cost is $1900. By the grace and provision of the Lord, I am currently up to date on payments towards the trip. I have paid $800 so far. On August 7, a payment of $400 is due. I currently have half of it. On September 4, I owe another $400. On October 5. my final payment of $300 is due. My fleece, which I mentioned in my previous post, was for a child to babysit. I cannot pay for a mission trip out of my budget. I live with my parents, and keep my expenses minimal, to make ends meet. I have just enough, if I'm careful, to take care of my kids. And I am totally okay with that. I actually enjoy living a life that allows God to be glorified through prayer and faith in meeting our needs, but that's a whole new post. ;-)
So...the idea of going on a $2000 mission trip, for me, is CRAZY. I cannot afford it on my own. And sitting here, typing these words, is bringing back the tears and emotions all over again.
I live my life every day for our God. I love Him, I love serving Him, I trust Him completely in every way. I spend most of my day in random prayer, just talking to Him. I know when we are close, and I know the moment I am out of line (whether it's out of disobedience or stepping out of His will). I can feel the distance between Him and I in an overwhelming way. I don't like losing that peace and the feel of His Presence. But when we are close, when I am in almost constant prayer, He tells me things. He guides me. He shows me the path He wants me to take, and sometimes He's even gracious enough to show me visions of the future. They're like little snapshots, and they don't always make sense until later. But He has made it very, very clear to me that He knows the level to which I have surrendered my life and the lives of my children and He has a specific plan for us. If I remain in obedience, trusting Him in every way, He will lead us down that path. And even though I cannot, in my humanness, see any reason why He would ask a single mother to go on a trip like this, I know He is asking me. And not only is He asking me, but the part that brings my tears to the surface is that i feel so sure that this trip is a very key part of the path He is leading me down.
He told me last December, that 2011 was to be my buffer year. It's the year that I will transition from one phase of my life into a new one. All the things that He told me would happen so far this year have happened, so I know I heard Him correctly. I've seen more of the future and I want that life. I want to serve Him and live for Him and bring Him glory and do His work. I feel such joy and peace over it!!!
My fleece that I had laid out before, a child for me to babysit and the money would go directly to the trip, was answered. I started babysitting an adorable little girl from our church. But Friday, I found out that at least until September, she will be at home with her sisters. When her sisters return to school in the Fall, I hope I will get her back.
I panicked on Friday. How am I going to pay for my trip? The little bit of extra money I have is being saved to purchase a few needed homeschooling materials for this year. I simply cannot pay for this trip if I don't babysit. That's why I asked for that specific prayer. What do I do now?? I felt so very defeated and discouraged.
But today, I know that He wants me to go. I do not know why. I will never understand God and His ways, and I'm not even going to try. :) I am going to believe that He will provide the money. I'm a number cruncher, and after crunching numbers in my head, I think I can do it. It's not going to be easy, but I believe the blessings will be great. I'm asking for donations, and I'm confident the Lord will speak to hearts about helping to sponsor my trip. I know the Lord will bless each and every person who chooses to give, who helps me on my journey. Maybe this was one way God planned to provide all along, but I was trying to figure it all out myself?? I'll probably never know.
I said it before, but I will say it one more time...I do not know why God is calling me to El Salvador in November. But I know He watches over me and my kids and He is taking us somewhere intentional. Somehow, this trip fits into all of it. Maybe one day I will see the pieces of the puzzle and how they fit together. But even if I don't, I trust Him. :) And I've learned that His ways are so much better than anything we could ever come up with on our own.
I will continue to blog about the journey we are on, and about the mission trip. God is at work in every life that surrenders to Him, and I'm inviting you to watch mine if you want :) I pray He is speaking in each of your lives, and that you have surrendered control to Him. The blessings are so great and so worth it. I'm also reactivating my facebook account. I know that I will no longer allow it to waste my time, and I miss having it as a tool for connecting with people in my life. It's also a way to keep those who are interested up to date on the events in our lives. :)
If God is asking your heart to give a gift towards my trip, I would first like to say "thank you more than you know." I pray He pours blessings on those who help, and that you understand my deep gratitude. You can send donations to:
Warren Woods Church of the Nazarene
14300 13 mile road
Warren, MI 48088
Please enclose a note that you are donating on behalf of Liz Wehrman for the El Salvador mission trip. If you have any questions, you can email me at LizWehrman@aol.com.
I'm stepping out in faith right now and in blogging about all of this, I'm allowing everyone to see God work. We serve an awesome, mighty God, who answers prayer and always provides. He also provides direction and helps us through every struggle. I trust Him and I'm believing in Him. And through my blog, which I will regularly update, I'm providing the opportunity for those interested to watch God work through a simple little single mother and her life. I hope it blesses you in some way. :)
:::deep sigh:::
Where do I even start?? I keep saying my life is changing and I don't like putting things in here that might change later. And...let me admit it and get it over with...I'm just a regular girl who gets scared and wants to run from God's plans, or from life, when things seem to get too darn big and scary. And if I blog about it, I'm afraid you'll see my faults and failures. ;-)
I'm tired.
I'm tired of being tired.
I don't want to play this game anymore.
Why have I not yet learned to never utter the words to God "I'm bored"??????? When will I learn that lesson? And why does my boredom have to be replaced with strife and struggles and exercising that Big Faith I claim to have?
I wrote in this post about my church's upcoming mission trip to El Salvador and how I prayed and prayed and laid out a fleece about going and God responded with, "Yes. You're going. And I will provide."
It didn't make any sense to me why I would go on that trip. It doesn't make any sense now.
I have been on hiatus from facebook for a few weeks now (in all honesty, I don't miss it AT ALL). So unless you're my mom, my sister, Bethany, or Aimee, you probably have no idea what's going on in my life.
I don't have any idea either. ;-)
I feel a call to go on the November 2011 El Salvador trip with my church. I don't know why, but I know it also has to be that specific trip. I thought, before today, that it was just my own desires that were leading me to go. And that when things fell apart on Friday, it would be okay to just wait and go on a later trip. And then I spent Saturday in a state of discord or discouragement or something. I don't know what. I didn't feel the Spirit of God sitting next to me and surrounding me (not that He left me) and I didn't feel peace. Mostly, I didn't feel anything. And then in church this morning, as the worship and service progressed, I found myself crying crocodile tears over this trip. I'm supposed to go.
For the sake of your understanding, let me explain further. :) I cannot afford to go on this trip. The total cost is $1900. By the grace and provision of the Lord, I am currently up to date on payments towards the trip. I have paid $800 so far. On August 7, a payment of $400 is due. I currently have half of it. On September 4, I owe another $400. On October 5. my final payment of $300 is due. My fleece, which I mentioned in my previous post, was for a child to babysit. I cannot pay for a mission trip out of my budget. I live with my parents, and keep my expenses minimal, to make ends meet. I have just enough, if I'm careful, to take care of my kids. And I am totally okay with that. I actually enjoy living a life that allows God to be glorified through prayer and faith in meeting our needs, but that's a whole new post. ;-)
So...the idea of going on a $2000 mission trip, for me, is CRAZY. I cannot afford it on my own. And sitting here, typing these words, is bringing back the tears and emotions all over again.
I live my life every day for our God. I love Him, I love serving Him, I trust Him completely in every way. I spend most of my day in random prayer, just talking to Him. I know when we are close, and I know the moment I am out of line (whether it's out of disobedience or stepping out of His will). I can feel the distance between Him and I in an overwhelming way. I don't like losing that peace and the feel of His Presence. But when we are close, when I am in almost constant prayer, He tells me things. He guides me. He shows me the path He wants me to take, and sometimes He's even gracious enough to show me visions of the future. They're like little snapshots, and they don't always make sense until later. But He has made it very, very clear to me that He knows the level to which I have surrendered my life and the lives of my children and He has a specific plan for us. If I remain in obedience, trusting Him in every way, He will lead us down that path. And even though I cannot, in my humanness, see any reason why He would ask a single mother to go on a trip like this, I know He is asking me. And not only is He asking me, but the part that brings my tears to the surface is that i feel so sure that this trip is a very key part of the path He is leading me down.
He told me last December, that 2011 was to be my buffer year. It's the year that I will transition from one phase of my life into a new one. All the things that He told me would happen so far this year have happened, so I know I heard Him correctly. I've seen more of the future and I want that life. I want to serve Him and live for Him and bring Him glory and do His work. I feel such joy and peace over it!!!
My fleece that I had laid out before, a child for me to babysit and the money would go directly to the trip, was answered. I started babysitting an adorable little girl from our church. But Friday, I found out that at least until September, she will be at home with her sisters. When her sisters return to school in the Fall, I hope I will get her back.
I panicked on Friday. How am I going to pay for my trip? The little bit of extra money I have is being saved to purchase a few needed homeschooling materials for this year. I simply cannot pay for this trip if I don't babysit. That's why I asked for that specific prayer. What do I do now?? I felt so very defeated and discouraged.
But today, I know that He wants me to go. I do not know why. I will never understand God and His ways, and I'm not even going to try. :) I am going to believe that He will provide the money. I'm a number cruncher, and after crunching numbers in my head, I think I can do it. It's not going to be easy, but I believe the blessings will be great. I'm asking for donations, and I'm confident the Lord will speak to hearts about helping to sponsor my trip. I know the Lord will bless each and every person who chooses to give, who helps me on my journey. Maybe this was one way God planned to provide all along, but I was trying to figure it all out myself?? I'll probably never know.
I said it before, but I will say it one more time...I do not know why God is calling me to El Salvador in November. But I know He watches over me and my kids and He is taking us somewhere intentional. Somehow, this trip fits into all of it. Maybe one day I will see the pieces of the puzzle and how they fit together. But even if I don't, I trust Him. :) And I've learned that His ways are so much better than anything we could ever come up with on our own.
I will continue to blog about the journey we are on, and about the mission trip. God is at work in every life that surrenders to Him, and I'm inviting you to watch mine if you want :) I pray He is speaking in each of your lives, and that you have surrendered control to Him. The blessings are so great and so worth it. I'm also reactivating my facebook account. I know that I will no longer allow it to waste my time, and I miss having it as a tool for connecting with people in my life. It's also a way to keep those who are interested up to date on the events in our lives. :)
If God is asking your heart to give a gift towards my trip, I would first like to say "thank you more than you know." I pray He pours blessings on those who help, and that you understand my deep gratitude. You can send donations to:
Warren Woods Church of the Nazarene
14300 13 mile road
Warren, MI 48088
Please enclose a note that you are donating on behalf of Liz Wehrman for the El Salvador mission trip. If you have any questions, you can email me at LizWehrman@aol.com.
I'm stepping out in faith right now and in blogging about all of this, I'm allowing everyone to see God work. We serve an awesome, mighty God, who answers prayer and always provides. He also provides direction and helps us through every struggle. I trust Him and I'm believing in Him. And through my blog, which I will regularly update, I'm providing the opportunity for those interested to watch God work through a simple little single mother and her life. I hope it blesses you in some way. :)
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Today...
I hit what I thought was "snooze" on my alarm, and woke up an hour later than I should have for church.
On the way to church (actually on time!), I remembered that I forgot my next payment for the El Salvador trip that was due today. I had to turn around and go all the way back to my house.
So...
I was late for church. :(
I was late for church and had to step over several women to get to my family, who decided to sit in the middle of the row, instead of on the end, for the first time ever.
:::sigh:::
Yes, I was the crazy, "Excuse me...pardon me...excuse me...I'm so sorry!!" lady today.
While taking communion, I choked. Yep...I choked on the one little swallow of cranberry juice from the tiny plastic cup. Classy.
After service, while talking with a friend, I spilled the last little bit of what I thought was my empty (and closed) cup of coffee down the front of my mom's dress. The dress I borrowed this morning, and promised "I won't get dirty. I'll come right home after church and hang it right back in your closet on this exact little hanger," as I slowly pulled it out of her closet...
On the way out of church, while carrying several boxes, I tripped on a rug. That Bethany had just said not to trip on. But she tripped on it, too.
It's really nice to have a best friend who's exactly like you. I love you, Bethany!! :)
I think I'm safe now. I'm finally home, relaxing on my couch. In a minute, I'll tackle some laundry. Not much can happen when you're folding laundry.
At least, I hope... :)
Have a blessed day!!
On the way to church (actually on time!), I remembered that I forgot my next payment for the El Salvador trip that was due today. I had to turn around and go all the way back to my house.
So...
I was late for church. :(
I was late for church and had to step over several women to get to my family, who decided to sit in the middle of the row, instead of on the end, for the first time ever.
:::sigh:::
Yes, I was the crazy, "Excuse me...pardon me...excuse me...I'm so sorry!!" lady today.
While taking communion, I choked. Yep...I choked on the one little swallow of cranberry juice from the tiny plastic cup. Classy.
After service, while talking with a friend, I spilled the last little bit of what I thought was my empty (and closed) cup of coffee down the front of my mom's dress. The dress I borrowed this morning, and promised "I won't get dirty. I'll come right home after church and hang it right back in your closet on this exact little hanger," as I slowly pulled it out of her closet...
On the way out of church, while carrying several boxes, I tripped on a rug. That Bethany had just said not to trip on. But she tripped on it, too.
It's really nice to have a best friend who's exactly like you. I love you, Bethany!! :)
I think I'm safe now. I'm finally home, relaxing on my couch. In a minute, I'll tackle some laundry. Not much can happen when you're folding laundry.
At least, I hope... :)
Have a blessed day!!
Friday, July 8, 2011
My new favorite hobby.
Hairbows. :)
I have an entire collection of hairbows I purchased at Target for Lexi. She LOVES them. But thanks to Keri's tutorial on how to make your own, I find myself sitting up too late on a Friday night, making pretty little hair clips for all the little girls in my life. :)
Lexi is very, very excited about all the pretty bows. She sat next to me this evening, handing me ribbon in the order she wanted them done.
It's fun having girls. :)
But, for the sake of my only boy, here's a pic my mama took today. He "looks thrilled" to be taking a photo, but it was really just the sun in his eyes. He loves his mommy. :)
Why I deactivated my facebook ;)
This is kind of an interesting post for me to write. Typically, I write a blog post and then post a link to my facebook wall. 90% of the people who make their way to my blog, come by way of my posted link. Yet, if you read the title, this is not an option for me right now. :)
I "deactivated" my facebook 2 days ago, for a variety of reasons. I will admit...I am a facebook addict. I had the facebook app on my phone, and would check my notifications when I woke up in the morning. I would spend a considerable amount of time catching up on the latest "news" while I drank my morning coffee. Throughout the day, if i was bored, I would sit down and fool around on facebook. Check this, comment there. Look through someone's recently posted photos. And every night before bed, I would check my notifications one last time before going to sleep for the night.
I would fear that I am alone in my pathetic addiction to Facebook, but I know for a fact that there are others, mostly women, who do the same thing that I do. :) And some women I know would be just as bad if they were home all day instead of at work.
So, when I clicked the reason I was deactivatiing my account (and Facebook requires you to give them a reason), "I spend to much time on Facebook" was number one on my list. My days are super busy, my to-do list is typically longer than it should be. I'm working on time management (I'm terrible at it...), so eliminating my number one distraction is something that I have wanted to do for a long time, but I just couldn't get myself to click the little button. Until now. And I have felt very free. :)
My second biggest reason I deactivated my account is gossip. I'm a woman, and let's be honest...most women have a strong temptation to gossip. I love a good story, and I love sharing it with fresh ears even more. But I feel extremely convicted over it.
I prayed and prayed for an entire week about whether to let my account go, or just work my discipline regarding my time and my interest in knowing what my peeps are up to. These verses came to mind again and again...
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12
"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."
My other reason for wanting to let go of Facebook was in that first verse, too...I have been craving privacy, and a handful of people use facebook and my blog to keep an eye on my "business." NO ONE has a right to the details of my private life, except occasionally my parents because I live in their home. And they're my parents. :) I'm not even married anymore, so I don't have a husband to be accountable to. I have the Lord, and I'm pretty good at keeping Him in the loop. ;-) But what is facebook, other than the worlds biggest peephole into your daily activities?? People tell you everything from their plans for the weekend, to the random thoughts running through their head. There is no privacy in the land of social media. And if I'm putting bits and pieces of my life out there for everyone to see, it will be used for good and for bad, depending on the heart who reads it.
So...I read verse 11 over and over again.
'Lead a quiet life" said to me that I don't need to tell my 367 Facebook friends what I'm doing today. I get up, I lay my day at the Lord's feet and ask Him to bless it and walk me through it, and we go on to accomplish it all together. Quietly. Just me and the Lord (and 4-7 kids, but you get my point...)
"to mind your own business" Do I need to know what everyone else is doing?? My day is super busy. If I lose focus, I don't get it all done. Why should I interested be in the affairs of others, when my own affairs are enough to keep my attention all day long?
"and to work with your hands" I'm lazy. I said it. I think I've even said it before. I hate that I'm lazy, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. I also get distracted very easily, and I waste my time on pointless activities. It's another weakness I'm learning to gain control over. If I am on facebook, I am not doing anything productiive. Occasionally I will read a prayer request, and send up a prayer. But that is less than a minute of my day. The rest is a clear waste of my time. I could be folding laundry, preparing dinner, reading the kids some books, and so on. Until I am good at "working with my hands" instead of floating through my day, I am choosing to eliminate my big distractions. I have cut TV and fiction novels out of my life. It's Facebooks turn. :)
And lastly..."so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody." I said that there are hearts that judge me by things I put on facebook. They watch what I do, form opinions, and then talk about me amongst themselves. ANYONE who is following the Lord with their entire heart and soul is going to have people in their life who do this. It's pretty much inevitable. But if you are the person God wants you to be, if you acknowledge your weaknesses and form the discipline and determination to overcome them, and if you mature daily in Christ, what bad does anyone have to say about you?? If I waste my time and merely "get through each day alive," then I have nothing to stand on in the face of criticism. But if I pray each morning, read my bible to get my mind focused, and then maintain that focus all day long, I can go to bed each night knowing that each day was blessed and I brought the Lord Glory with the the "work I did with my hands."
I have 4 children of my own. I babysit regularly. I'm a single mother, and I live with my parents. I homeschool. I like to have a social life, and I like to be involved and serve at my church.
I'm B-U-S-Y. I cannot do all of the things I desire to do if I give in to my weaknesses. And if I am slacking, I face criticism. If I gossip or maintain interest in the affairs of those around me, I suffer from disobedience. In the light of all those things, I deactivated my Facebook account. And you know what?? After I got throught the 15 minutes of panic ( a sign that I truly was addicted), I felt a huge wave of relief. Each day that has gone by, I have felt more and more free.
I prayed about my blog. Should I let it go, too? But God has very clearly said the same thing He always says..."the blog is Mine and it's one more thing I ask of you, for my Glory." I can't argue with that, even if I don't understand it. :) And I get such a joyful feeling knowing that God asks me to do things and I do them. I see the direction He's taking me, and I am so very, very excited.
We serve an awesome God. And in seeking to be the Liz that He wants me to be, I let Facebook go. Maybe one day I will activate it again, but right now I am looking forward to being and doing everything that He wants. It requires all kinds of discipline, and the blessing are worth the discomfort. :)
God's good. Have I said that before?? :)
I "deactivated" my facebook 2 days ago, for a variety of reasons. I will admit...I am a facebook addict. I had the facebook app on my phone, and would check my notifications when I woke up in the morning. I would spend a considerable amount of time catching up on the latest "news" while I drank my morning coffee. Throughout the day, if i was bored, I would sit down and fool around on facebook. Check this, comment there. Look through someone's recently posted photos. And every night before bed, I would check my notifications one last time before going to sleep for the night.
I would fear that I am alone in my pathetic addiction to Facebook, but I know for a fact that there are others, mostly women, who do the same thing that I do. :) And some women I know would be just as bad if they were home all day instead of at work.
So, when I clicked the reason I was deactivatiing my account (and Facebook requires you to give them a reason), "I spend to much time on Facebook" was number one on my list. My days are super busy, my to-do list is typically longer than it should be. I'm working on time management (I'm terrible at it...), so eliminating my number one distraction is something that I have wanted to do for a long time, but I just couldn't get myself to click the little button. Until now. And I have felt very free. :)
My second biggest reason I deactivated my account is gossip. I'm a woman, and let's be honest...most women have a strong temptation to gossip. I love a good story, and I love sharing it with fresh ears even more. But I feel extremely convicted over it.
I prayed and prayed for an entire week about whether to let my account go, or just work my discipline regarding my time and my interest in knowing what my peeps are up to. These verses came to mind again and again...
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12
"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."
My other reason for wanting to let go of Facebook was in that first verse, too...I have been craving privacy, and a handful of people use facebook and my blog to keep an eye on my "business." NO ONE has a right to the details of my private life, except occasionally my parents because I live in their home. And they're my parents. :) I'm not even married anymore, so I don't have a husband to be accountable to. I have the Lord, and I'm pretty good at keeping Him in the loop. ;-) But what is facebook, other than the worlds biggest peephole into your daily activities?? People tell you everything from their plans for the weekend, to the random thoughts running through their head. There is no privacy in the land of social media. And if I'm putting bits and pieces of my life out there for everyone to see, it will be used for good and for bad, depending on the heart who reads it.
So...I read verse 11 over and over again.
'Lead a quiet life" said to me that I don't need to tell my 367 Facebook friends what I'm doing today. I get up, I lay my day at the Lord's feet and ask Him to bless it and walk me through it, and we go on to accomplish it all together. Quietly. Just me and the Lord (and 4-7 kids, but you get my point...)
"to mind your own business" Do I need to know what everyone else is doing?? My day is super busy. If I lose focus, I don't get it all done. Why should I interested be in the affairs of others, when my own affairs are enough to keep my attention all day long?
"and to work with your hands" I'm lazy. I said it. I think I've even said it before. I hate that I'm lazy, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. I also get distracted very easily, and I waste my time on pointless activities. It's another weakness I'm learning to gain control over. If I am on facebook, I am not doing anything productiive. Occasionally I will read a prayer request, and send up a prayer. But that is less than a minute of my day. The rest is a clear waste of my time. I could be folding laundry, preparing dinner, reading the kids some books, and so on. Until I am good at "working with my hands" instead of floating through my day, I am choosing to eliminate my big distractions. I have cut TV and fiction novels out of my life. It's Facebooks turn. :)
And lastly..."so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody." I said that there are hearts that judge me by things I put on facebook. They watch what I do, form opinions, and then talk about me amongst themselves. ANYONE who is following the Lord with their entire heart and soul is going to have people in their life who do this. It's pretty much inevitable. But if you are the person God wants you to be, if you acknowledge your weaknesses and form the discipline and determination to overcome them, and if you mature daily in Christ, what bad does anyone have to say about you?? If I waste my time and merely "get through each day alive," then I have nothing to stand on in the face of criticism. But if I pray each morning, read my bible to get my mind focused, and then maintain that focus all day long, I can go to bed each night knowing that each day was blessed and I brought the Lord Glory with the the "work I did with my hands."
I have 4 children of my own. I babysit regularly. I'm a single mother, and I live with my parents. I homeschool. I like to have a social life, and I like to be involved and serve at my church.
I'm B-U-S-Y. I cannot do all of the things I desire to do if I give in to my weaknesses. And if I am slacking, I face criticism. If I gossip or maintain interest in the affairs of those around me, I suffer from disobedience. In the light of all those things, I deactivated my Facebook account. And you know what?? After I got throught the 15 minutes of panic ( a sign that I truly was addicted), I felt a huge wave of relief. Each day that has gone by, I have felt more and more free.
I prayed about my blog. Should I let it go, too? But God has very clearly said the same thing He always says..."the blog is Mine and it's one more thing I ask of you, for my Glory." I can't argue with that, even if I don't understand it. :) And I get such a joyful feeling knowing that God asks me to do things and I do them. I see the direction He's taking me, and I am so very, very excited.
We serve an awesome God. And in seeking to be the Liz that He wants me to be, I let Facebook go. Maybe one day I will activate it again, but right now I am looking forward to being and doing everything that He wants. It requires all kinds of discipline, and the blessing are worth the discomfort. :)
God's good. Have I said that before?? :)
Friday, July 1, 2011
Social Media and My Personality :)
I have put off this post and put of this post (and put off this post) for a long time. :) Every time I want to post a blog or write something personal on facebook, I get incredibly uneasy...
We live in such a different world now, thanks to social media. And the internet. And cell phones. Privacy is something you have to fight like crazy for.
I am a weird mix of an open book and a hermit. I am who I am, I love who I am, and I don't feel that I have anything to hide from anyone. So in that aspect, facebook and blogger are two things I love and I have no problem sharing things on them.
But on the other hand, I hate when people feel that because I share things, they have a right to share their opinions about my life. Sometimes, I'd go so far as to call those opinions "a very strong suggestion that you should take my advice." And even, "a very strong suggestion, that I will mention to you multiple times until you listen to me."
I know that if I put personal stuff out there, I have no control over what is done with that information. I have released it. And people are people. Things will be misunderstood. Opinionated people will open their mouths. This is reality. But should I quit two hobbies that I love just because I have a hard time with stronger personalities than my own??
I love blogging. It's a release for me and it's kinda fun and I really feel that if I'm learning something from the Lord, sharing it allows the possibility for it to bless someone else. But lately, I have had a handful of people misconstrue things that I, or other people, have done or said. And it has caused a lot of heartache. And frustration. And I'll be honest...anger on my part. And I don't get angry very easy!!
So I questioned what to do with facebook and my blog. I almost deleted my facebook, until my daughter informed me that it's a great means of communication when I am gone and she needs to contact me. When I'm in El Salvador, this will be very valuable. And my blog...I LOVE my blog. Lol. I don't journal, I will never be a scrapbooker. But I love my life, and my kids, and my Lord, and for me...this is a place that I can record my thoughts and my feelings and pics of my babies. Especially when everything is changing so much. :) And to all of my friends who make their way here and read it, I hope it blesses you in some way. And if you have a blog, I would love to read all about your quirks and thoughts and daily musings. :) Leave me a link!!!
My sister and her family are on their way to Michigan, from Virginia, as I type to spend the next week with all of us, and my brother is on his way from Tennessee. He'll be here until Monday. On Sunday, we're having a big family gathering and family pictures taken. I am so excited!!! I will be taking my own pics, now that my mom has kindly shared her camera with me. A little thing I discovered about myself...I love taking pictures. I love it. But I don't own a camera, so I don't take them nearly as often as I would like. But now I will be experimenting with my mom's camera and taking lots of pics of my babies. :)
After family goes home, I will be making some changes in our house. Again, I would love right now to just throw them out there. But for privacy's sake, it has to wait. :) My blog, however, is going to become a place for me to record our lives. Kind of like an online scrapbook. :) I love my life and my kids and all the work the Lord is doing, and I love the idea of having it on here as a record. When my sister goes home, I will be ready to face the opinions and suggestions and tell the bearers (kindly and respectfully!!) that I do my best to live every day within the Lord's will and way, and if they have a problem with anything I do, they can take it up with Him. Because that is the truth. :)
Have a wonderful 4th!!!
We live in such a different world now, thanks to social media. And the internet. And cell phones. Privacy is something you have to fight like crazy for.
I am a weird mix of an open book and a hermit. I am who I am, I love who I am, and I don't feel that I have anything to hide from anyone. So in that aspect, facebook and blogger are two things I love and I have no problem sharing things on them.
But on the other hand, I hate when people feel that because I share things, they have a right to share their opinions about my life. Sometimes, I'd go so far as to call those opinions "a very strong suggestion that you should take my advice." And even, "a very strong suggestion, that I will mention to you multiple times until you listen to me."
I know that if I put personal stuff out there, I have no control over what is done with that information. I have released it. And people are people. Things will be misunderstood. Opinionated people will open their mouths. This is reality. But should I quit two hobbies that I love just because I have a hard time with stronger personalities than my own??
I love blogging. It's a release for me and it's kinda fun and I really feel that if I'm learning something from the Lord, sharing it allows the possibility for it to bless someone else. But lately, I have had a handful of people misconstrue things that I, or other people, have done or said. And it has caused a lot of heartache. And frustration. And I'll be honest...anger on my part. And I don't get angry very easy!!
So I questioned what to do with facebook and my blog. I almost deleted my facebook, until my daughter informed me that it's a great means of communication when I am gone and she needs to contact me. When I'm in El Salvador, this will be very valuable. And my blog...I LOVE my blog. Lol. I don't journal, I will never be a scrapbooker. But I love my life, and my kids, and my Lord, and for me...this is a place that I can record my thoughts and my feelings and pics of my babies. Especially when everything is changing so much. :) And to all of my friends who make their way here and read it, I hope it blesses you in some way. And if you have a blog, I would love to read all about your quirks and thoughts and daily musings. :) Leave me a link!!!
My sister and her family are on their way to Michigan, from Virginia, as I type to spend the next week with all of us, and my brother is on his way from Tennessee. He'll be here until Monday. On Sunday, we're having a big family gathering and family pictures taken. I am so excited!!! I will be taking my own pics, now that my mom has kindly shared her camera with me. A little thing I discovered about myself...I love taking pictures. I love it. But I don't own a camera, so I don't take them nearly as often as I would like. But now I will be experimenting with my mom's camera and taking lots of pics of my babies. :)
After family goes home, I will be making some changes in our house. Again, I would love right now to just throw them out there. But for privacy's sake, it has to wait. :) My blog, however, is going to become a place for me to record our lives. Kind of like an online scrapbook. :) I love my life and my kids and all the work the Lord is doing, and I love the idea of having it on here as a record. When my sister goes home, I will be ready to face the opinions and suggestions and tell the bearers (kindly and respectfully!!) that I do my best to live every day within the Lord's will and way, and if they have a problem with anything I do, they can take it up with Him. Because that is the truth. :)
Have a wonderful 4th!!!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Andrew Phillip
My boy is 6 years old today. I know every parent says it, but I can't believe it's been 6 years!!
He came after two miscarriages, and an incredibly rough pregnancy. By the time I was 6 months along, I had gone into labor and been put on bedrest and crazy medication. I stayed in bed for 2 months, continually contracting, until my doctor finally allowed me to deliver on May 26.
After 2 months of bedrest and cramping and medicine that made my heart race and everything that I experienced in that pregnancy, I was so happy to finally have it over with and be able to hold my baby.
And then he caught Group B Strep during delivery. By the time the nurses realized he was struggling to breathe, and got him to the nursery, he was purple and having a heart attack.
It was the scariest day of my life.
He spent 10 days at the hospital, on antibiotics. On June 4, I finally brought my baby boy home.
Now, he's 6 years old. He's my crazy boy. The only one of my children to visit the emergency room as a result of a stunt.
I took this picture last night. I told him to smile. I was lucky he let me take his picture. :)
I had to promise this one to get the other one. :) He's teaching himself to move his eyes and his eyebrows independantly. I have yet to get it on film. ;-)
I love my bubba. I love him so much.
Today is Phil's day, so I won't get to spend it with the birthday boy. But tomorrow, he wants to "buy stuff." That's all he has said to me. "Mom...can we buy stuff??" I don't know where he got the idea that "buying stuff" is what you do on your birthday, but I promised to take him to the train and hobby store. :)
I'm hoping he can stay reasonable. ;-)
He came after two miscarriages, and an incredibly rough pregnancy. By the time I was 6 months along, I had gone into labor and been put on bedrest and crazy medication. I stayed in bed for 2 months, continually contracting, until my doctor finally allowed me to deliver on May 26.
After 2 months of bedrest and cramping and medicine that made my heart race and everything that I experienced in that pregnancy, I was so happy to finally have it over with and be able to hold my baby.
And then he caught Group B Strep during delivery. By the time the nurses realized he was struggling to breathe, and got him to the nursery, he was purple and having a heart attack.
It was the scariest day of my life.
He spent 10 days at the hospital, on antibiotics. On June 4, I finally brought my baby boy home.
Now, he's 6 years old. He's my crazy boy. The only one of my children to visit the emergency room as a result of a stunt.
The only one to kiss a skateboard with his face and get right back on.
The one who stood on the top of his crib as a toddler, to wrap the chains of the ceiling fan around the blades. Who would wake up at 3:00 am when he was 4 years old, because he was smart enought to know everyone in the house was asleep and he could climb up on daddy's desk and get his beloved remote control helicoptor. The one who struggles with a speech delay and just this week started to cal Amerie by her name, instead of "Mamway." The one who's "painfully shy."
He's also the only of my kids who thinks of the most carefully thought out question about the world, who wants to know the "how" and "why" behind everything that is and does. The one who can't sit still or fall alseep or be serious for 30 seconds. :)
He's my boy.
I joke all the time that God gave me 3 girls and only 1 boy for a reason. He wears me out every single day. He fights with his sisters and refuses to obey, simply because he's stubborn. ;-) He's hyper and he's always hungry and he hates green beans like no other.
But that little boy loves his mommy, and his mommy loves him. I know that at least once a day, he still needs to climb in my lap for a few minutes and just "Be." I treasure those moments every day, because I know that all too soon he will be too big for my lap. And when the moment is quiet, and him and I are alone, we have the best conversations. I love his heart and his mind. I know God has big plans for him.
I had to promise this one to get the other one. :) He's teaching himself to move his eyes and his eyebrows independantly. I have yet to get it on film. ;-)
I love my bubba. I love him so much.
Today is Phil's day, so I won't get to spend it with the birthday boy. But tomorrow, he wants to "buy stuff." That's all he has said to me. "Mom...can we buy stuff??" I don't know where he got the idea that "buying stuff" is what you do on your birthday, but I promised to take him to the train and hobby store. :)
I'm hoping he can stay reasonable. ;-)
Monday, May 23, 2011
El Salvador
Well...
I've said repeatedly that I've had a lot going on in my heart and my life that I would love to share, but I just can't right now. It's the main reason I've been such an inconsistant blogger. :) I have so much to figure out, and as much as I'm an open book and would love to blog about all of it, I just can't at a time where nothing is certain and I might have to go back and change something i wrote. ;-) I'll wait until I've prayed and prayed something through, and I am very certain of God's voice. Then I will share it.
So...
I'M GOING TO EL SALVADOR!!!!!!!!!!
This is something that has been a long time in the making, but God's timing is perfect and the time for me to go is now. Well, technically November...but you get it. ;-)
I have always felt the call to missions. From the time I was old enough to know what a missionary was and what they did, I felt the call. I also carried a huge fear with me. I said to God, "I will do anything you want and go anywhere you send me, as long as it's in the USA." ;-) I held back. I was terrified of the dangerous possibilities in some areas of the world that the Lord could send me. What if He called me to a place that was hostile towards Christians? What if I was attacked? Or even worse, what if I was martyred??? I couldn't take the chance. And I didn't even know if He was going to send me on missions!! And if He did, how did I know where He would send me?
It was within the past few years that I finally got to a place spiritually where I could release my fear to Him and know that no matter where God sent me, I would go. I think going through the darkest parts of my divorce grew me the most. I developed a deep love for our Lord like I had never known was possible, and I knew that no matter what happened in my life, His presence would surround me and He would walk with me through it.
The other thing holding me back on missions was my babies. :) For most of the past 10 years, I have either been expecting a child, or nursing one. I said to Phil many times that I wanted to go on one of our church's mission trips, but I didn't know when I would take a break from having babies. ;-) I think it's safe to say now that I'm on a break. :)
So...this is where El Salvador comes into the picture. Our church (along with many churches in the US) has teamed with Compassion International to sponsor a church in a struggling community. We are now working with Iglesia Sion church, in El Congo, El Salvador. :)
From the time Pastor Gocha stood in front of the congregation and told us of the partnership, I felt the pull. But I tucked it away. This past March, some members of our church went back to El Salvador. When they returned, I felt God say, "it's time." I became filled with an excitement and passion and love for the people of El Congo. I had NO IDEA how I was going to get myself there. :) But I knew I was going.
I have been praying and praying ever since. I had made the desecion in my heart to go, but I was afraid to act out in faith. Every time I laid out a fleece, God responded with "yes." I heard His voice clearly..."Liz...I'm sending you. I will provide the money. And you will not struggle financially to put the money together. It will be clear that it is from Me." I've even had a strong desire to learn Spanish, and have been teaching myself. I'm hoping to purchase some material for learning more than the basics within the next few weeks. And thanks to the awesomeness of Facebook, I have created a couple friendships with some people my age from El Congo. :) This was God, too, i am sure. I do not accept friend requests from strangers, but I received one from someone from Sion church, and because I wanted to get to know the people, I accepted it. That particular friendship has been a huge blessing in my life. I've learned so much about El Salvador from someone who's lived there their entire life. My heart is already in El Congo. I cannot wait to meet the people and pour out the love that the Lord has put in me for them. I am so EXCITED.
Back to the acting out in faith part...this week my sister and I have been struggling with faith. We know for certain that our God is BIG and that He can do anything. We have no question over this. But we struggle with doubt over His desire to act because of our prayers.
"What if He doesn't want to?"
Or "I knew at the time God told me _______. But what if I heard Him wrong?"
Or "What if He changed His mind?"
The conclusion we came to this week, after discussing it like crazy, is that if you know you heard God's voice, you have to act according to that. Even if you doubt it later. When you doubt, pray for your faith to be restored.
Yesterday, our Pastor preached an answer to the question, "Why doesn't God answer my prayers?" I won't go into the entire sermon, (I highly recommend the entire "Why?" series that is avaliable here. Click on "podcasts.") but Pastor talked about "faith." God hit me hard when he said that faith is not believing that God can, it's believing that God will. I KNOW that God can provide for me to go to El Salvador. I KNOW God called me there. But why am I afraid? During the service, I talked to God and released my fears. When I left the sanctuary, I turned in my application and $200 deposit. I trusted God. I always knew He could, but I now believe He will. He has already put so many "impossible" things in order so that I am able to go. And while I was working in the nursery for the last service, an opportunity arose for me to expand my monthly income. That was one of my specific prayers. That God would add to my income, and I could put the extra money away for El Salvador without scraping together what I currently live on.
God is good. I say it all the time. But He is so GOOD. My heart feels like it will burst with the love and joy I have for Him and from Him. And I am very excited about spending time in El Congo, getting to know the people and pour out God's love. :)
We serve such an awesome God!!
I've said repeatedly that I've had a lot going on in my heart and my life that I would love to share, but I just can't right now. It's the main reason I've been such an inconsistant blogger. :) I have so much to figure out, and as much as I'm an open book and would love to blog about all of it, I just can't at a time where nothing is certain and I might have to go back and change something i wrote. ;-) I'll wait until I've prayed and prayed something through, and I am very certain of God's voice. Then I will share it.
So...
I'M GOING TO EL SALVADOR!!!!!!!!!!
This is something that has been a long time in the making, but God's timing is perfect and the time for me to go is now. Well, technically November...but you get it. ;-)
I have always felt the call to missions. From the time I was old enough to know what a missionary was and what they did, I felt the call. I also carried a huge fear with me. I said to God, "I will do anything you want and go anywhere you send me, as long as it's in the USA." ;-) I held back. I was terrified of the dangerous possibilities in some areas of the world that the Lord could send me. What if He called me to a place that was hostile towards Christians? What if I was attacked? Or even worse, what if I was martyred??? I couldn't take the chance. And I didn't even know if He was going to send me on missions!! And if He did, how did I know where He would send me?
It was within the past few years that I finally got to a place spiritually where I could release my fear to Him and know that no matter where God sent me, I would go. I think going through the darkest parts of my divorce grew me the most. I developed a deep love for our Lord like I had never known was possible, and I knew that no matter what happened in my life, His presence would surround me and He would walk with me through it.
The other thing holding me back on missions was my babies. :) For most of the past 10 years, I have either been expecting a child, or nursing one. I said to Phil many times that I wanted to go on one of our church's mission trips, but I didn't know when I would take a break from having babies. ;-) I think it's safe to say now that I'm on a break. :)
So...this is where El Salvador comes into the picture. Our church (along with many churches in the US) has teamed with Compassion International to sponsor a church in a struggling community. We are now working with Iglesia Sion church, in El Congo, El Salvador. :)
From the time Pastor Gocha stood in front of the congregation and told us of the partnership, I felt the pull. But I tucked it away. This past March, some members of our church went back to El Salvador. When they returned, I felt God say, "it's time." I became filled with an excitement and passion and love for the people of El Congo. I had NO IDEA how I was going to get myself there. :) But I knew I was going.
I have been praying and praying ever since. I had made the desecion in my heart to go, but I was afraid to act out in faith. Every time I laid out a fleece, God responded with "yes." I heard His voice clearly..."Liz...I'm sending you. I will provide the money. And you will not struggle financially to put the money together. It will be clear that it is from Me." I've even had a strong desire to learn Spanish, and have been teaching myself. I'm hoping to purchase some material for learning more than the basics within the next few weeks. And thanks to the awesomeness of Facebook, I have created a couple friendships with some people my age from El Congo. :) This was God, too, i am sure. I do not accept friend requests from strangers, but I received one from someone from Sion church, and because I wanted to get to know the people, I accepted it. That particular friendship has been a huge blessing in my life. I've learned so much about El Salvador from someone who's lived there their entire life. My heart is already in El Congo. I cannot wait to meet the people and pour out the love that the Lord has put in me for them. I am so EXCITED.
Back to the acting out in faith part...this week my sister and I have been struggling with faith. We know for certain that our God is BIG and that He can do anything. We have no question over this. But we struggle with doubt over His desire to act because of our prayers.
"What if He doesn't want to?"
Or "I knew at the time God told me _______. But what if I heard Him wrong?"
Or "What if He changed His mind?"
The conclusion we came to this week, after discussing it like crazy, is that if you know you heard God's voice, you have to act according to that. Even if you doubt it later. When you doubt, pray for your faith to be restored.
Yesterday, our Pastor preached an answer to the question, "Why doesn't God answer my prayers?" I won't go into the entire sermon, (I highly recommend the entire "Why?" series that is avaliable here. Click on "podcasts.") but Pastor talked about "faith." God hit me hard when he said that faith is not believing that God can, it's believing that God will. I KNOW that God can provide for me to go to El Salvador. I KNOW God called me there. But why am I afraid? During the service, I talked to God and released my fears. When I left the sanctuary, I turned in my application and $200 deposit. I trusted God. I always knew He could, but I now believe He will. He has already put so many "impossible" things in order so that I am able to go. And while I was working in the nursery for the last service, an opportunity arose for me to expand my monthly income. That was one of my specific prayers. That God would add to my income, and I could put the extra money away for El Salvador without scraping together what I currently live on.
God is good. I say it all the time. But He is so GOOD. My heart feels like it will burst with the love and joy I have for Him and from Him. And I am very excited about spending time in El Congo, getting to know the people and pour out God's love. :)
We serve such an awesome God!!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Mother's Day
It's almost Mother's Day. :)
I would expect a mother of four to look forward to Mother's Day. I've earned it, right? Four times over?? Breakfast in bed, handmade cards, a day off. :)
Lol. Not exactly. Mother's Day is one more example of the changes God has done in me. For most of the years that Phil and I were married, he tried to make Mother's Day special for me. And I soaked it up, looking forward to "a day off" for weeks beforehand. Quite often, he had drill the weekend of Mother's Day and I ended up pulling through a fast food drive-thru so I wouldn't have to cook dinner on my "day off." I didn't even care that we couldn't afford fast food. I wasn't about to cook.
:::sigh:::
In two days, it will be Mother's Day again. This time, I am officially a single mother. There's no breakfast in bed. :) No handmade cards, unless I ask the kids to make them for me (this is part of being a homeschooling single mother), although i did get a special one from the boy I babysit. :) And I'm confident that I will be making dinner for everyone and not getting a "day off."
I am totally okay with this!!!
I feel like this will be the most special Mother's Day that I have ever had. :) Now that I've finally gotten over myself and allowed the Lord to actually mature me, I can see what this special day is all about. It's about moms. About being a mom. And having a mom. It's about this...
And this..
This...
This...
And this...
I have been blessed with an amazing mother. I mean it. I couldn't ask for a better one. She is super special and I thank the Lord for blessing me with her as my mom (my dad's pretty awesome, too!!). She's an incredible example of a Godly woman. She showed me, by example, how to love my children and know that they feel loved. We have a great relationship, and always have. She selflessly gives and loves each of her kids, and adores her grandbabies. I wouldn't trade her for anything. :)
And my kids? All I have ever wanted to be was a mom. Somewhere, tucked away in my heart, I hope I can have a couple more children someday. But in the meantime, I spend every. single. day. thanking the Lord for blessing me with four children. I'm 29. I have a 9 year old, almost 6 year old, 4 year, and 2 year old. I look at them and can't believe I have them!! I wake up every morning with them crowded in bed around me, I kiss them and tell them I love them and I think they're super special all day long, and at bedtime, I kiss their forheads and praise and thank the Lord for creating such beautiful, special children and allowing me to spend my days with them!! I can't believe how blessed I am.
Mother's Day isn't about me anymore. :) It's about them.
It's about the woman who felt the same way about me that I feel about my babies (sometimes I can't grasp that!!) And it's about the four precious children that gave me the title of "Mom."
I will wake up on Sunday and kiss each of them. I'll tell my mom, again, that I love her. And I will have a very special day.
Because God is so good. And He has blessed me abundantly. :)
I would expect a mother of four to look forward to Mother's Day. I've earned it, right? Four times over?? Breakfast in bed, handmade cards, a day off. :)
Lol. Not exactly. Mother's Day is one more example of the changes God has done in me. For most of the years that Phil and I were married, he tried to make Mother's Day special for me. And I soaked it up, looking forward to "a day off" for weeks beforehand. Quite often, he had drill the weekend of Mother's Day and I ended up pulling through a fast food drive-thru so I wouldn't have to cook dinner on my "day off." I didn't even care that we couldn't afford fast food. I wasn't about to cook.
:::sigh:::
In two days, it will be Mother's Day again. This time, I am officially a single mother. There's no breakfast in bed. :) No handmade cards, unless I ask the kids to make them for me (this is part of being a homeschooling single mother), although i did get a special one from the boy I babysit. :) And I'm confident that I will be making dinner for everyone and not getting a "day off."
I am totally okay with this!!!
I feel like this will be the most special Mother's Day that I have ever had. :) Now that I've finally gotten over myself and allowed the Lord to actually mature me, I can see what this special day is all about. It's about moms. About being a mom. And having a mom. It's about this...
And this..
This...
This...
And this...
I have been blessed with an amazing mother. I mean it. I couldn't ask for a better one. She is super special and I thank the Lord for blessing me with her as my mom (my dad's pretty awesome, too!!). She's an incredible example of a Godly woman. She showed me, by example, how to love my children and know that they feel loved. We have a great relationship, and always have. She selflessly gives and loves each of her kids, and adores her grandbabies. I wouldn't trade her for anything. :)
And my kids? All I have ever wanted to be was a mom. Somewhere, tucked away in my heart, I hope I can have a couple more children someday. But in the meantime, I spend every. single. day. thanking the Lord for blessing me with four children. I'm 29. I have a 9 year old, almost 6 year old, 4 year, and 2 year old. I look at them and can't believe I have them!! I wake up every morning with them crowded in bed around me, I kiss them and tell them I love them and I think they're super special all day long, and at bedtime, I kiss their forheads and praise and thank the Lord for creating such beautiful, special children and allowing me to spend my days with them!! I can't believe how blessed I am.
Mother's Day isn't about me anymore. :) It's about them.
It's about the woman who felt the same way about me that I feel about my babies (sometimes I can't grasp that!!) And it's about the four precious children that gave me the title of "Mom."
I will wake up on Sunday and kiss each of them. I'll tell my mom, again, that I love her. And I will have a very special day.
Because God is so good. And He has blessed me abundantly. :)
Thursday, May 5, 2011
My WIC rebellion...
Yesterday morning, the (5) kids and I headed off to a WIC appointment.
I have been in the WIC program for awhile now. A couple years ago, they completely changed their program and nutritional guidelines. In most ways, this was a good thing. More fruits and veges, farmer's market coupons (whoo-hoo!!!!) and whole-grains.
BUT...
I now find myself getting in a little argument with the nutritionist every time I go. :)
I suppose I could just slide under the radar and not tell them I feed my kids whole dairy. I don't have to mention that I would never knowingly buy low-fat anything. Phil was firm on whole dairy, and since the man is a darn good personal trainer and very knowledgeable in nutrition, I think his opinions hold some weight. In all the research I've done on my own, I've drawn the same conclusions...fat is good for you. Your body needs it to function. Especially children, whose bodies are growing at an exceptional rate.
So, it always comes to this...
:::ahem::: "It says here that you feed your children whole milk. Is this true?"
"Yes. Yes, it is."
"You do know that here in the WIC program, we only recommend low-fat dairy for children over the age of two?"
"Yes. I am aware. But I'm firm in my belief that their developing bodies need the saturated fat found in dairy products."
Now let me tell you here that this conversation is always AFTER I am told that my children are beautiful and healthy and perfect on the height/growth charts. They're proportionate and completely within healthy weight ranges.
It goes on...
"Yes, but here in the US we're seeing an epidemic of obesity and heart disease. By switching to skim milk, we belive we are making a positive change."
"Yes, ma'am. I understand this. But my kids don't eat like normal American children. They live on fruits and veges, whole-grains, and meats. The only fat they get is from their dairy, and you're not going to convince me that a fat-free diet is healthy for anyone, especially children."
At this point, my rebellious, defiant side is flaring up. I don't like being told how to feed my children. I may not have a degree in nutrition, but you'd better believe I've done my research. I know what's healthy, and why. I know what's good, and what's bad. I tend to get a little overly emotional when I'm told that I'm harming my children through their food. Do I feed them fast food on a regular basis? Nope. Do they eat prepackaged foods the majority of the time? Not at all. I can hardly get myself to buy Goldfish crackers. I finally relented and started buying Triscuits and Wheat Thins, because I'm just too lazy to make my own crackers. But seriously, whole milk?! Come on...
So this is what the nutritionaist said to me, in her final attempt to sway me from whole dairy...
(Said very sweetly, but a bit arrogantly) "Let me just put it this way...do you realize that in one glass of whole milk, there is the saturated fat equivalent of 6 slices of bacon?? Just think about that for awhile."
Bacon, you say?
As much fat as a 6 pieces of bacon?
I was thinking, alright...
"Should I tell her that up until recently, I fed them raw milk, too??"
I have been in the WIC program for awhile now. A couple years ago, they completely changed their program and nutritional guidelines. In most ways, this was a good thing. More fruits and veges, farmer's market coupons (whoo-hoo!!!!) and whole-grains.
BUT...
I now find myself getting in a little argument with the nutritionist every time I go. :)
I suppose I could just slide under the radar and not tell them I feed my kids whole dairy. I don't have to mention that I would never knowingly buy low-fat anything. Phil was firm on whole dairy, and since the man is a darn good personal trainer and very knowledgeable in nutrition, I think his opinions hold some weight. In all the research I've done on my own, I've drawn the same conclusions...fat is good for you. Your body needs it to function. Especially children, whose bodies are growing at an exceptional rate.
So, it always comes to this...
:::ahem::: "It says here that you feed your children whole milk. Is this true?"
"Yes. Yes, it is."
"You do know that here in the WIC program, we only recommend low-fat dairy for children over the age of two?"
"Yes. I am aware. But I'm firm in my belief that their developing bodies need the saturated fat found in dairy products."
Now let me tell you here that this conversation is always AFTER I am told that my children are beautiful and healthy and perfect on the height/growth charts. They're proportionate and completely within healthy weight ranges.
It goes on...
"Yes, but here in the US we're seeing an epidemic of obesity and heart disease. By switching to skim milk, we belive we are making a positive change."
"Yes, ma'am. I understand this. But my kids don't eat like normal American children. They live on fruits and veges, whole-grains, and meats. The only fat they get is from their dairy, and you're not going to convince me that a fat-free diet is healthy for anyone, especially children."
At this point, my rebellious, defiant side is flaring up. I don't like being told how to feed my children. I may not have a degree in nutrition, but you'd better believe I've done my research. I know what's healthy, and why. I know what's good, and what's bad. I tend to get a little overly emotional when I'm told that I'm harming my children through their food. Do I feed them fast food on a regular basis? Nope. Do they eat prepackaged foods the majority of the time? Not at all. I can hardly get myself to buy Goldfish crackers. I finally relented and started buying Triscuits and Wheat Thins, because I'm just too lazy to make my own crackers. But seriously, whole milk?! Come on...
So this is what the nutritionaist said to me, in her final attempt to sway me from whole dairy...
(Said very sweetly, but a bit arrogantly) "Let me just put it this way...do you realize that in one glass of whole milk, there is the saturated fat equivalent of 6 slices of bacon?? Just think about that for awhile."
Bacon, you say?
As much fat as a 6 pieces of bacon?
I was thinking, alright...
"Should I tell her that up until recently, I fed them raw milk, too??"
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Oh, What a Tuesday!!
Yesterday was an interesting day. Had it been 6 months ago, it would have sent me into either a fit of overwhelmed anger, or depression. I thank the Lord that I am through the dark valley and I made it out the other side. I'll admit...it was scary for awhile. But God is good, and He saw me through it. Now I can take a bad day and laugh at it, while I roll my eyes at forces beyond my control.
Here's a list of my day, mostly in order of how it happened...
1. My 2 year old started her day 6:45, instead of the usual 7:30. That 45 minutes goes a long way toward her mood...
2. My mom called to tell me that when she went to her car in the morning to leave for work, all of her consoles were open. The theory is they were looking for cash, because they left anything remotely valuable. Of course, this is the ONE TIME I forget to lock my van. And even though they didn't take anything , it really bothered me. :( The perpetrator was kind enough to leave me an animal cracker, though. And no, I'm not kidding.
3. While trying to steal kisses from Amerie, I somehow got headbutted with her teeth. It split my lip open and was kinda painful. :-/ It's still tender this morning.
4. Andrew was swinging his arms while walking through the kitchen and hit his thumbnail on a kitchen chair. This bent his nail halfway up the nail bed, and split it up to the bend. There was blood. And a lot of tears. And oh, the crying!! Of course, this was during naptime, too...
5. It was one of those days (and moms...you know what I am talking about) where each child was exceptionally needy and whiny. I couldn't walk 5 steps without a child crying and holding my legs. I finally lost my patience at my son in the evening, when I couldn't even use the bathroom for 2 minutes without a child whining or tattling at the door. New rule in this house - If you're not bleeding or broken, don't knock on the door when mom's in the bathroom!!!
6. I've been struggling with a lot going on in my heart and my mind the last couple of weeks. This was weighing on me pretty heavily yesterday. Thankfully, I think most of it was resolved last night.
7. Although I felt super busy yesterday ( by evening, my feet hurt from being on them so much), I don't think I actually accomplished much. :( I washed the kids bedding, but that's all I crossed off my to-do list. I'm hoping today is better.
8. As I was heading to bed, I found out that a good friend of mine lost a coworker yesterday evening. My heart breaks for the man's family, friends, and all of his coworkers. Please keep all of them in your prayers.
I'm thankful, again, for my relationship with the Lord and for all He has done for me and in me. Days like yesterday don't knock me down anymore. Today, I woke up with joy and peace. Maybe today will be like yesterday, or maybe it will be full of happy circumstances. I don't know. :) But God has today in His hands, just as He had yesterday, and He walks with me through it. The comfort and awesomeness of this continues to amaze me.
We serve an awesome God.
Here's a list of my day, mostly in order of how it happened...
1. My 2 year old started her day 6:45, instead of the usual 7:30. That 45 minutes goes a long way toward her mood...
2. My mom called to tell me that when she went to her car in the morning to leave for work, all of her consoles were open. The theory is they were looking for cash, because they left anything remotely valuable. Of course, this is the ONE TIME I forget to lock my van. And even though they didn't take anything , it really bothered me. :( The perpetrator was kind enough to leave me an animal cracker, though. And no, I'm not kidding.
3. While trying to steal kisses from Amerie, I somehow got headbutted with her teeth. It split my lip open and was kinda painful. :-/ It's still tender this morning.
4. Andrew was swinging his arms while walking through the kitchen and hit his thumbnail on a kitchen chair. This bent his nail halfway up the nail bed, and split it up to the bend. There was blood. And a lot of tears. And oh, the crying!! Of course, this was during naptime, too...
5. It was one of those days (and moms...you know what I am talking about) where each child was exceptionally needy and whiny. I couldn't walk 5 steps without a child crying and holding my legs. I finally lost my patience at my son in the evening, when I couldn't even use the bathroom for 2 minutes without a child whining or tattling at the door. New rule in this house - If you're not bleeding or broken, don't knock on the door when mom's in the bathroom!!!
6. I've been struggling with a lot going on in my heart and my mind the last couple of weeks. This was weighing on me pretty heavily yesterday. Thankfully, I think most of it was resolved last night.
7. Although I felt super busy yesterday ( by evening, my feet hurt from being on them so much), I don't think I actually accomplished much. :( I washed the kids bedding, but that's all I crossed off my to-do list. I'm hoping today is better.
8. As I was heading to bed, I found out that a good friend of mine lost a coworker yesterday evening. My heart breaks for the man's family, friends, and all of his coworkers. Please keep all of them in your prayers.
I'm thankful, again, for my relationship with the Lord and for all He has done for me and in me. Days like yesterday don't knock me down anymore. Today, I woke up with joy and peace. Maybe today will be like yesterday, or maybe it will be full of happy circumstances. I don't know. :) But God has today in His hands, just as He had yesterday, and He walks with me through it. The comfort and awesomeness of this continues to amaze me.
We serve an awesome God.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Lexi Katelyn
This little girl is full of sass and attitude. :)
"Take the picture, MOM. I have things do!"
Followed by, "The Look,' which only succeeds in getting mommy to laugh...
"Whatever, Mom."
:::sigh:::
It's starts too young...
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Where I've been...
To those of you who say to me, "Liz...when are you going to blog again? It's been awhile!!" I want you to know that I appreciate that. It makes me feel good to know that this little hobby of mine is actually interesting to people. :)
It's been so hard to blog lately. There is so much going on in my head. I honestly have spent 28 years without knowing who I really am. I wasted so much time trying to figure out what everyone else wanted, and then trying to mold myself into all of their ideas of "Liz." It's such a release to be able to explore who GOD wants me to be and who I am in Him. But at the same time, it's so scary and hard. Nothing is certain anymore. My mind is constantly running a mile a minute while I think over everything going on in my life and my heart and how it will affect everything else. :)
I'm happy. I am SO happy, and that is completely due to the grace and love of our Lord. He has sustained me and helped me grow and loved me. I'm His, and that is the best feeling in the world. :) My kids are developing such a strong faith too and it is so incredible to watch!! They're little sponges and I want them to be surrounded by a love and knowledge of Him from the very beginning. It's a huge part of why I feel the call to homeschool.
I guess that's it for now. There is so much on my heart and in my mind, but i will save it for later. :) If you read this, have an awesome day and God bless!!
It's been so hard to blog lately. There is so much going on in my head. I honestly have spent 28 years without knowing who I really am. I wasted so much time trying to figure out what everyone else wanted, and then trying to mold myself into all of their ideas of "Liz." It's such a release to be able to explore who GOD wants me to be and who I am in Him. But at the same time, it's so scary and hard. Nothing is certain anymore. My mind is constantly running a mile a minute while I think over everything going on in my life and my heart and how it will affect everything else. :)
I'm happy. I am SO happy, and that is completely due to the grace and love of our Lord. He has sustained me and helped me grow and loved me. I'm His, and that is the best feeling in the world. :) My kids are developing such a strong faith too and it is so incredible to watch!! They're little sponges and I want them to be surrounded by a love and knowledge of Him from the very beginning. It's a huge part of why I feel the call to homeschool.
I guess that's it for now. There is so much on my heart and in my mind, but i will save it for later. :) If you read this, have an awesome day and God bless!!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Crazy things that make me happy. :)
I get excited when my kids eat healthy snacks or meals. Really excited. Like some women get when they purchase a new pair of shoes. Add this to the list of things that makes me weird, I guess.
Just now, I pulled out baby red peppers with pine nut and roasted garlic hummus.
My girls loved them!!
Andrew's harder to convince, as he tends to take after his picky Papa and Uncle Greg. It doesn't stop me from trying, though. :)
My mom and i hit all of our favorite grocery/health food stores this past weekend. It's become our Saturday routine on the weekends that Phil has the kids. We try and make it to Eastern Market for eggs, veges, and anything that suits our fancy. I like Trader Joe's for dairy, nitrate-free bacon, hot dogs, etc and lots of various grocery items. Natural Food Patch in Ferndale is a must, because they have so much for so cheap. I get my kombucha there, and I also like their selection of grains. Their health and beauty section has many of my favorite natural picks, and the selection is the best I've found. AND I save dollars per item compared to stores like Target. Anything left on my list, mainly fresh chicken or beef, I get at Randazzo's. I can't afford fully pastured & grassfed meat, but Randazzo's is the next best thing.
THIS is what our fridge looks like when we're done. Our fridge in the basement is half full, too.
We've got lots of eggs, fresh and hard-boiled, Trader Joe's whole-milk french vanilla yogurt (I've convinced my kids it tastes like ice cream), Trader Joe's kefir, lots of fresh vegetables and fruits. cheeses, sprouted-grain english muffins, and leftover chicken from stock I made on Monday. I'm hoping chicken noodle soup for dinner will help my throat feel better. I also bought a bag of shredded cabbage I'm planning to use for homemade cole slaw!! Yummm...
Our pantry is pretty full, too. Amidst my dad's foods and the various items that get lost in a pantry (my mom has a jar of marshmallow fluff that's been in there since I moved in a year and a half ago. WHAT is she planning on using that for??) we have brown rice, quinoa, various grains and beans, sauerkraut, and raw honey. I love raw honey, so we have several large containers. I'm trying to convince my dad to put a bee hive in the backyard this year so I can jar my own honey. I don't think he's convinced, yet...
My favorite finds this weekend were multi-colored popcorn and orange ("red") lentils. :D It's the little things in life that are the most exciting!!
I'm still addicted to International Delight coffee creamer. I picked up a few large containers the other day. I need to give this up, since the sippage of coffee is leading me to skip breakfast and lunch. :-/ Not good at all, especially when you're in a contest with your mom and sis to lose 15 lbs!!!
Today is milk pick-up in Royal Oak and a trip to No Pins Required in Ferndale for Rockin' Green laundry detergent. I've been looking for a truly natural detergent that actually gets our clothes clean, and I found it!! I originally purchased it for our cloth diapers, which is what it was designed for, but now I use it on everything (as the company suggests). Since I started using it, I realized that clothes without fabric softener feel stiff because of detergent residue (yuck). Rockin' Green rinses so clean that my clothes are super soft without the use of any softener or dryer sheet. :D Super exciting!!
Just now, I pulled out baby red peppers with pine nut and roasted garlic hummus.
My girls loved them!!
Andrew's harder to convince, as he tends to take after his picky Papa and Uncle Greg. It doesn't stop me from trying, though. :)
My mom and i hit all of our favorite grocery/health food stores this past weekend. It's become our Saturday routine on the weekends that Phil has the kids. We try and make it to Eastern Market for eggs, veges, and anything that suits our fancy. I like Trader Joe's for dairy, nitrate-free bacon, hot dogs, etc and lots of various grocery items. Natural Food Patch in Ferndale is a must, because they have so much for so cheap. I get my kombucha there, and I also like their selection of grains. Their health and beauty section has many of my favorite natural picks, and the selection is the best I've found. AND I save dollars per item compared to stores like Target. Anything left on my list, mainly fresh chicken or beef, I get at Randazzo's. I can't afford fully pastured & grassfed meat, but Randazzo's is the next best thing.
THIS is what our fridge looks like when we're done. Our fridge in the basement is half full, too.
Our pantry is pretty full, too. Amidst my dad's foods and the various items that get lost in a pantry (my mom has a jar of marshmallow fluff that's been in there since I moved in a year and a half ago. WHAT is she planning on using that for??) we have brown rice, quinoa, various grains and beans, sauerkraut, and raw honey. I love raw honey, so we have several large containers. I'm trying to convince my dad to put a bee hive in the backyard this year so I can jar my own honey. I don't think he's convinced, yet...
My favorite finds this weekend were multi-colored popcorn and orange ("red") lentils. :D It's the little things in life that are the most exciting!!
I'm still addicted to International Delight coffee creamer. I picked up a few large containers the other day. I need to give this up, since the sippage of coffee is leading me to skip breakfast and lunch. :-/ Not good at all, especially when you're in a contest with your mom and sis to lose 15 lbs!!!
Today is milk pick-up in Royal Oak and a trip to No Pins Required in Ferndale for Rockin' Green laundry detergent. I've been looking for a truly natural detergent that actually gets our clothes clean, and I found it!! I originally purchased it for our cloth diapers, which is what it was designed for, but now I use it on everything (as the company suggests). Since I started using it, I realized that clothes without fabric softener feel stiff because of detergent residue (yuck). Rockin' Green rinses so clean that my clothes are super soft without the use of any softener or dryer sheet. :D Super exciting!!
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