Saturday, January 29, 2011


I haven't been much of a blogger lately.  I'm stuck in a weird situation and I haven't figured out how to handle it yet.

I've always been the type without secrets, and having a blog would never be something I'm uncomfortable with.  But lately, I have had this strong desire to hide from the world.  There is so much going on in my life, and in me, and i think it's an act of  protection.  The Lord said to give Him a year, and so much change is happening in this year.  I'm not ready for it to be scrutinized, and I'm sure it would come out weird in a blog. 

In a way, I'm looking forward to the changes.  But i'm also scared.  There are several uncomfortable things in my life that God has thrown out in the open for me to deal with.  It's like I've given Him permission to do some major  "Spring Cleaning" and after almost 29 years of keeping several areas of myself, to myself, I'm a bit nervous about the journey.  The end result I'm sure will be wonderful, as everything that the Lord does is wonderful.  But the lack of control over the situation and the mystery surrounding my future (along with the humbleness of seeing all of my shortcomings) has led me to seek quiet solitude. 

I guess it doesn't change my ability to blog.  But there are a few things I've grown uncomfortable with.   I've already made it clear that my kids and I eat different and do things that may be off the beaten path.  But those were private decisions that I never meant for anyone else to make.  I never wanted anyone to feel like I may judge them if they live or act (or eat) differently.  And I never meant for anyone to feel free to scrutinize me because of something I may have written on facebook or my blog that contradicted something I said or did later.  No one is perfect, and my whole life is changing by the day.  I'm GOING to make mistakes and change things I once did or believed.  It's all part of the journey.  But I've become increasingly uncomfortable with feeling like I'm under someone else's magnifying glass. 

At least for the time being.  Maybe after God's year of growth and change in me, I can go back to the comfort in being who I am.   But for now, while I'm relearning who that is, I'm staying inside, where it's comfortable.


  1. Liz, your privacy is justified and nothing to apologize for. I understand what you mean about being scrutinized for being "off the beaten path". I stopped taking pictures of P's lunches because of the comments I got on facebook. I think people sometimes misconstrue me sharing and recording information for me posting for input or making myself available to criticism.

    I'm sorry you're feeling like you need to hide. The person you are becoming is beautiful and worthy of being shared. I hope that you find that comfort again soon. ((BIG HUGS))

  2. In life you are constantly changing and adapting to dealing with things. It's growth. God doesn't want us to be stagnant, he wants us to change, grow, mature. I think that's what's happening. You have to do what's right for you and your children. God would want nothing less from you. I think you are doing that. And if there is one thing I've learned from my blog, you have to be honest, it's your place and no one else's. I've missed you. I'm always here if you need anything. I know you said you needed time to get your homeschooling and life in order before we could hang out regularly again, but know if you need anything before that day comes, I'm here.

  3. This was very well written! Since when should people be judged for changing their minds? You dont need to listen to those people!

  4. Thank you for the support. :)

    And Kathy...I would love to get together soon. I'm sending you a message on facebook...