Friday, May 7, 2010

Somehow this post turned into my testimony...

So...I had some friends tell me this week that they had read my blog.  I admitted that I was surprised, since silly me thinks that no one ever reads it.  :)  They asked me if I am really into blogging.  My answer?  No.  I am so terrible at this.  I was never one for remembering to journal, either.  :-P  But I think it's starting to grow on me.

I've really been amazed lately at the work the Lord has been doing in my life.  I'm almost starting to feel spoiled.  He is so gracious and loving.  I pray constantly that I can please Him and bless Him in return.

I'm one of those Christians who's "been a Christian forever."  I can't tell you when I was saved.  I was probably a young child.  I grew up in the same church that I now attend with my children (it's been 28 years this past March).  I'm not the rebellious type, so making the decision to "be good" and follow Christ was easy for me all 28 of those years.  But I was never passionate about it.  I never woke with praise on my lips, never laid myself at Christ's feet and submitted myself completely as His servant.  But how I wish I could tell you the joy of coming to that place!!!  This has probably been the hardest year of my life, but also the most wonderful.  They say that when you go through life's storms, you either cling to the Lord, or turn from Him.  I clung to Him with everything I had.  I know that He does not cause the bad, but He can use it.  He used it to set me free from my complacency and grow me into maturity.  And I now know the feeling of being in the presence of His Spirit, and also the peace of coming to that place where you submit yourself to Him and ask Him to fill you up with that same Spirit.  And I don't have to worry anymore.  I know that He loves me and that He is watching over me, and my children.  I know that everything is in His hands.  And I know that He is pleased with me, because I have given Him everything I can.  Do you know how wonderful it is to know that GOD is pleased with ME???  I love Him so much.

There is a lot going on in our lives right now.  Tomorrow, Aimee has an interview for a potential (big) scholarship for next year (my kids attend our church's Christian school, and I am relying on the Lord to provide the tuition.  He told me He would, and I trust that this scholarship is in His Hands).  After the interview, I am going (alone, of course) to Phil's and we are physically dividing up our stuff.

I have a peace about my divorce.  It took me forever to surrender to that peace (because I didn't understand the "why" of it), but it is from the Lord and I need to rest in that.  I know that God has a plan, and He knows I am in agreement to it, whatever it may be.  And He's even been gracious enough to give me little glimpses into the future.  But no matter where He takes me, I know that I will be happy.  I know that I will be cared for.  And I know that I have His Love.  And I look forward to serving Him, and one day standing before Him and meeting Him face to face.  But for now, I am living every day as His servant.  And I'm loving every step of the journey.  :)

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